Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Peace and Growth

Since January 1st, i have had a roommate. She is wonderful.I've known her  for 5 years . She is an artist like myself- a real one- not just a dabbler.We can sit for hours and talk about paint colors, textures, mediums, techniques, the best companies for supplies,galleries, and other artists. We are both liberal and conservative and bring to the table many topics of deep discussion...and we never argue, sometimes just agree to disagree.We discuss projects, plans, life goals , family and friends.She has her own art space/studio up stairs and i have mine on the second floor- sometimes we are both painting and other times we are both doing something else.. It's almost a shame we will never be a couple! haha! But yet, thats a good thing as well:)

Aside from that, my time in my new home as a single woman has been all growth and the stability, security and satisfaction in my life has been wonderfully increasing since day 1.I have had time to evaluate my own feelings , self worth, and the underlying motivation of my actions and feelings. I have been able to redirect myself at a smooth and casual pace to come into a better place and frame of mind for the now..and for the future. No relationship is standing in my way..i can date, i can have sex if i want, i can stay home, i can go out with friends ..its MY decision...i never had such independence and it is FABULOUS.

If i had know decades ago how insightful and focused i could have been on my own for certain time frames, i am convinced i would be a much healthier person in every way.

I am not saying there haven't been some bumps, and definitely a learning curve..I have experienced a lot of financial shake ups before during and since the move..but its all coming around.Having the extra $ from the roomie and working more FT hours since after the new year has really helped to get me back on track.Always crossing my fingers though that some new crisis isn't lurking, i remain ever hopefull.

Another thing i have learned is that i do indeed paint better when sober. I can still do basic forms and backgrounds while drinking( only beer these days) but my best work has been the evenings before work , when i can NOT drink at all..and i can take several days , a few hours at a time to focus.This year i have committed to working on textures and using different mediums..

Namaste