Sunday, October 11, 2015

Return to Calm

It was a pretty calm weekend..and for the first time in years i didn't wake with a hangover any of the 3 days off..yes, i had a few drinks...but very few..we actually went out to see a friend play at a local restaurant and saw several old friends there as well, the house stayed clean and tasks were completed..we even got to use our new fire pit last night on a beautiful starry evening.I spent 2 hours embroidering the project for Elijah( who is due this weekend).And i did not once check Scott's phone or laptop.I took all my supplements and meds and even got groceries so i was able to make some awesome meals.

Now tonight, back to work..a few negative things..although i slept well yesterday i went to bed last night at 2am and am awake at 11am ..not good for night shifters.Also, finances..it's pretty discouraging that i get no paid vacation time. After an entire summer with most saturdays off and several full weeks off, now the vacation week off, i am feeling really discouraged about catching up on my bills and trying to start saving money again.All i can hope for is to be able to sell my car and trade in the truck ( so i have 4WD) and be able to work a steady 5 nights a week for awhile.

I haven't been concentrating as much on quitting smoking as i should be. But i did call a recommended counselor ( whom i have yet to actually get a hold of). The issue though now is , again, money. I went to the dentist thursday and found out i need 2 caps on my teeth..ugh..more money. This in addition to the doctor bill of $219 i have to pay.It seems like i'll never catch up.

Also, more drama with my ex. He has been continuing his stalking/spying behaviors.I have had to spend hours resting my privacy settings on Facebook and then making this blog private again.So far i haven't had to block him from emails or text, but will if necessary.He is truly unstable...one day he is pining over me and wanting us back together, crying, etc..then next he gets irate about something and starts threatening and accusing . It's just too much to bear..I finally realized we cannot be "just friends".I have to cut it off entirely.

At any rate , i will try to remember the beach vacation( even though the weather sucked) We did have one good beach day. Sunny and relaxing. It's the positives sometimes that get me through.

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