Thursday, August 13, 2015

Eating Dirt and other new adventures of old Lovie

This was me ..Then.

There is a fine line when you start to want to "feel" better more than you want to "look" better. It's called the Age of Wisdom line.When it starts, nobody can really pin down. Mine started sometime this past year...i just didnt realize it until a few weeks ago.

My pain level had been increasing steadily over the year..many different types of pain- minor body aches, gastric /intestinal distress, headaches, memory loss and lack of focus...and of course the external -wrinkles, etc..Additionally i was getting depressed and my anxiety level had brought my blood pressure to a steady 150/90.

I tried many temporary fixes..abstaining from drinking except on my nights off..getting and keeping a full-time job,eating better,less coffee , more water, finally going to the doctor and dentist, getting to the gym, etc...And i guess each of these things in and of themselves helped..BUT.....

After finding out that a bad fall had fractured two of my ribs a few weeks ago and realizing i was unaware and just pushed through the pain to a point that caused a thoracic sprain( way more painful and long lasting by the way) i realized that all along i have just ignoring many many things..pain and otherwise...I have had many disguises..many cover ups and many lies to tell myself..pretending it was normal.

Whats really wrong is my heart and soul...i had been trying to uphold old standards( some from  way back in my 20's!) --about the way i look, how i should discipline myself, what i should and shouldn't love, like, or allow in my life.These things, as they say, no longer serve me.

What i need is a total life makeover...starting with the started by getting back to the basics...I'm eating dirt...daily.

Not just any dirt..diatomaceous earth...i am now on day 4..only taking half a tsp.( half the recommended) and i will increase to one full tsp per day next week.I am also considering ionic silver- but mostly that's used for illness. And this is just scratching the surface( no pun intended).

As far as my life- i need Art..i need to paint. It's a huge part of me.I am endeavoring to put more of my time and heart into it and re-evaluate how i can free up more time to make it a part of my life and hopefully sell more stuff..i want to cut back to only 4 nights a week...and that will take an effort to get the budget back in order...especially after 2 unexpected weeks off.

Over all..i need to feel good- -energy and pain free living are now my goals as opposed to looking like Barbie. I've even totally revamped my gym thinking- no longer trying to sculpt..i do a circuit style 2 days a week (lifting)..end with some brief cardio..and then if i go a 3rd day its all cardio.If i miss a workout..i walk..outdoors..30 minutes- an hour..

I have also freed my mind of many other ways of thinking..such as having to believe in and behave a a certain way to make others happy..the only time i'll be doing that is when i CHOSE and when i am at work.

My heart and soul need some attention...and as for that pic above..well...this one here below is me now...not too bad for 48, i'd say..:)


pa2ndgear said...

Your still beautiful..I do hope your health improves and your soul heals. I still pray

Phil Or Pete Mikkelson lmao said...

It took until today for me to realize you've added something to your blog. Your adventures will be with us long after your gone little miss Huckleberry Finn. Some filled with excitement, some with humor, depression, or just rants... They are always a good read. This one, however... Makes me feel bad for you. I could only imagine how you delt with that pain when you continued to work. You have an incredible will Lovie, and more strength than most. Also, please make sure to steal some of Scott's dental floss after you eat that dirt... I can't wait to hear what your dentist has to say about that haha!

nirvana diva said...

Thanks friends are hard to come by and i am honored to count you among them! We miss your company! Make a trip down sometime:)