Monday, November 3, 2014

Need some Rainbows

Not sure i can be what everyone/ anyone wants me to be..i can barely be myself, and when i do it seems everyone gets offended. I am to the point of giving up and just saying to hell with everyone, and locking myself away. All i would do is work , sleep and paint and not have to answer to anyone but myself.
Why , i wonder, is it ...that at age 47, i still don't get to chose who and what i want to be? I waited a lifetime to be able to make my own choices, not have to worry about the responsibility of raising kids( now that they are on their own). I worked hard to put myself through school and get where i am. I have worked very hard to keep my credit clean.
I have made some mistakes along the way. Many in fact. I have made some bad choices, some difficult ones as well as some good ones.Who hasn't?
 And yet...i still get reprimanded as if i am 10 years old and do not know how to behave or speak .It not just one person -constantly wanting more than what i have to give, and wanting me to be someone i can't be. It never seems to end.
Not even sure what to do about it.
In fact, i am sure i'll even hear it about this post..some how someone will take it personally and be offended..when i really just need to be able to say my peace..i swear i need some peace and understanding, acceptance, and tolerance.But i suppose that will never happen.i hope soon ,someone sends me a miracle..or at least a rainbow.