Monday, December 16, 2013

i still hate my matter how i try..some one is always screaming, yelling in my ear..i should care about this, but i shouldnt care about never ends...if i want something i am being selfish.., but if they want something....well, i'm still being selfish..i cannot win...for instance..

i want to eat dinner WITH some one..before 9 pm..i wait, wait , wait, wait for them to be ready..then i am so hungry i cant wait anymore...but if i ask them to eat with me, i get yelled at..they arent ready, i am being selfish

but, i get done working on something... havent had timeto wind down from the day(at 5pm) but they expect me to be ready to do what THEY want or have planned within 5 minutes..or else i am being,,,again..selfish.

i cant keep this up...too many , wanting too much..freaking out about expectations i cant live up to...alcoholics,  hormonal princesses....  greedy supervisors...they have only their needs on thier minds...

i want to crawl away..far away..from family, friends, jobs, people in general...they all want something from me..i just want me ..just for a little bit

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

so, if you were directed to this blog via my post on fb last night....i do apologize for my recent negativity..i havent always been like this...i used to a happy upbeat positive person..this past year has gotten me down so badly i feel like i was beaten with a spiked club...however, please take the time to read through my previous posts...they go back to 2008...and for those of you who think these negative posts were about craig- you're wrong...only one was about him...we had an extremely rough period...

Yes, we still fight...and things arent always peachy...but i say this...some people just give up, some of us keep trying....i am going to delete those negative posts and a few others that may offend....only because i am not thick skinned enough to withstand the criticism at this point...

I hope you will all forgive me for bringing negativity out...but sometimes, as a human being, the dark side of me just wants to explode...and since everytime i post anything on Facebook, i usualy get flack for it, or unfriended, my theory is that if i write it down elsewhere...its your choice to come look at it or not...please dont unfriend me...i'm very sensitive...just understand i get very emotional at times...thank you:)