Friday, August 3, 2012

The Bird is the Word

Lately , i've been thinking about this blog.I really want to start posting again and yet, each day when i think to myself.."aha! thats what i'm gonna blog about!"-somehow by the end of the day , my memory fails me.

But here's something that i couldn't help but pass along.

We have a little birdie out back who mimics things. Not just other birds, but people , sounds, other animals etc. I think there's only the one bird, unless he has cousins.

Anyway , i knew about said bird when i moved into this place. I was told he mimicked everything.What i wasn't told was that he is a sadistic little pr*ck with a deranged sense of humor.He doesn't merely mimic. He, in fact, does indeed understand the subtle art of humiliation.

For instance, i first noticed his presence , when, one morning after a particular heated discussion  on the deck the night before concerning my mans ex, i was rudely awaked by this bird who chose to sit on the bedroom window sill and torment me by chanting the ex's name -loudly----in sets of three.

"Teresa, Teresa,Teresa". I even recorded it as proof.

Next, some weeks later, we had been discussing our body hair. I know, don't even ask....Anyway, my man said that he wanted to shave a particular area of his body because he felt like a chia pet. I told him ,lovingly, that this wasn't true and i liked him the way he is. Sure enough... the next morning..

I get my coffee,  and in my robe go to the deck to enjoy the outdoor air...what do i hear taunting me?

"Chia pet, chia pet, chia pet"..

Now, there have been a few other instances when i have actually heard the bird saying human words which had nothing to do with us. This is how i know he is a sick little f*ck who enjoys torturing anyone at random.He is an equal opportunity tormenter.

So , this morning , as i sat on that same deck, having watched an adult movie the night before with my man as we sometimes do ears were chastised with

"Tiity Boy, Titty Boy, Titty Boy".

I rest my case.

1 comment:

Craig Floyd said... thats funny