Friday, August 3, 2012

The Bird is the Word

Lately , i've been thinking about this blog.I really want to start posting again and yet, each day when i think to myself.."aha! thats what i'm gonna blog about!"-somehow by the end of the day , my memory fails me.

But here's something that i couldn't help but pass along.

We have a little birdie out back who mimics things. Not just other birds, but people , sounds, other animals etc. I think there's only the one bird, unless he has cousins.

Anyway , i knew about said bird when i moved into this place. I was told he mimicked everything.What i wasn't told was that he is a sadistic little pr*ck with a deranged sense of humor.He doesn't merely mimic. He, in fact, does indeed understand the subtle art of humiliation.

For instance, i first noticed his presence , when, one morning after a particular heated discussion  on the deck the night before concerning my mans ex, i was rudely awaked by this bird who chose to sit on the bedroom window sill and torment me by chanting the ex's name -loudly----in sets of three.

"Teresa, Teresa,Teresa". I even recorded it as proof.

Next, some weeks later, we had been discussing our body hair. I know, don't even ask....Anyway, my man said that he wanted to shave a particular area of his body because he felt like a chia pet. I told him ,lovingly, that this wasn't true and i liked him the way he is. Sure enough... the next morning..

I get my coffee,  and in my robe go to the deck to enjoy the outdoor air...what do i hear taunting me?

"Chia pet, chia pet, chia pet"..

Now, there have been a few other instances when i have actually heard the bird saying human words which had nothing to do with us. This is how i know he is a sick little f*ck who enjoys torturing anyone at random.He is an equal opportunity tormenter.

So , this morning , as i sat on that same deck, having watched an adult movie the night before with my man as we sometimes do together...my ears were chastised with

"Tiity Boy, Titty Boy, Titty Boy".

I rest my case.

1 comment:

Craig Floyd said...

Omg...now thats funny