Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Tea for Nitwits

While things were nice & calm on monday, i knew deep inside there was a tempest in a teapot brewing somewhere.
And my home office did not disappoint. Last week when i was there meeting with the uppers , going back & forth between my "office" (a sad little place really, with a small folding table , and a computer- barren of all life) , the conference table & another office, i inadvertently left a cup of tea in my office.
Well, the world must absolutely STOP when this happens. At least at our fidgety li'l office.I found it on tuesday, realized i had forgotten it and disposed of it. But today, i was informed that it was "noted" and complained about.
Wow...perhaps next week they shall go through my trash. Perhaps i will follow my daughters advice & put a used tampon in there (at least one that looks used-i'll put brown food coloring on it)....
or , maybe i can go picking through the place after hours myself, finding little things to bitch, that would make me one of them...
Seriously, there's a war starting in Libya, children dying, terrible healthcare reform etc....and my tiny little teabag makes the front!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The Sea has Calmed

Yesterday was eerily quiet in my world. I had 2 classes so i left the house at 8a & returned home by 9p.
All day i received no phone calls,texts, and only a handful of emails (only 2 from work!) I had started to think maybe Verizon was down for the day.
Also, there were no issues, no crisis, no complaints and i didnt have to stay late to make supplies.
I actually got to bed by 10p...slept well, awoke at 545 a.
I am very weirded out by the calm.
So, here i am with the whole day ahead of me...i will paint a bit, clean a very little bit, run some errands , then meet my daughter at a flea market. perhaps tonight i will go to the gym....
The company i work for finally came through with what i asked for. Amazing. All i am waiting for is my reimbursement for back pay.
Hopefully , my world will bathe in relaxation ...even just for a little while!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Still floating Along

Although i would love to say all has been settled, it has not. At our staff meeting my boss tried to announce that i would be staying on board, but i had to state that"nothing has been put in writing" thus far.I finished the tests at the "other" place , which took 2 weeks in the processing, and havent heard back yet this week.So STILL i am wondering where mortgage will be coming from for the 3rd month in a row. I guess the only choice now is robbing the savings again.I did my computer & office but cant even change my calendar schedule from home or send emails..what a waste.
On a more positive note, my neice, who had a tempereature of 104.3 at the hospital last week seems to be doing better. My brother says she is almost back to herself.....Yay!
I am working on a new painting , another 3ft by 4ft. I will post it shortly when done.
So, hopefully i will be settled soon somewhere , somehow. Even if i have to walk away from everything and start anew, i will have peace in my life .....i am comitted to that!

Friday, March 18, 2011

Barn burned down, now i can see the moon...

So far , just about everyday this week has been 14-16hrs awake & on the go, and about 6-8 hrs of sleep. Sound normal?Its not...who gets up at 530 goes to work & doesnt return hoem until 10 or 11pm?(besides my husband who truly enjoys working). It's not good, i say.
Some of those nights i spent in church...some at work....and tonight at the hospital with my very sick little niece (she registered a fever of 104.3).In between classes , i have been taking tests for this new company i'm considering or attending various interviews with their staff.I am so wiped out.And worse, have been unable to go to the gym.
Today, my boss calls to tell me they will be able to accomodates my requests including holiday pay & PTO,& i will get my 2% raises they have owed me for the past 2 years. However, it will still not be a fulltime salaried position.Additionally, the other boss(a VP) called to tell me my reimbursement is still in "processing"- even though its been approved.Hello?Its OWED, how dare it have to be approved. I presented the situation to several different businesses, including their competitor who stated that" a month is unacceptable. It would have been paid the next pay period anywhere else". So, even though my boss asked me if i rescinded my resignation, and i said "yes, but it would have to be in writing" -i am still waiting for it i writing & have no date on my reimbursement.
Therefore, i will continue to press forward in taking the steps to hire with their competitor. I need something to fall back on if the roof collapses.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Take me Back

So glad i decided to go back to church tonight. This is the first time i have ever been led to go back to church for a second service in one week.We had the most awesome speaker today- John Shuttlesworth. He has never written a book, he is not famous. But he has truly been able to shake someone like me up inside to where i am thirstier & thirstier for God.
Let me clarify.
I was late for service this morning because i thought we turned the clocks back instead of forward. So, i arrived only in time to hear the last 1/2 hour ( or so i thought- he talked 45 minutes over).I was so moved i knew i had to come back.So i left & took my mom to visit with my grandmother today at the home. She asked me what i was doing tonight, and strangely enough the words came out of my mouth.."i'm going back to church". I wouldve never believed it myself if someone told me.
I arrived to church half expecting a small turn out ( i am in dillsburg, pa after all) but was blown away by a packed parking lot. I went inside, had texted a friend to comebut really didnt expect her - she's flaky, very A.D.D. but, guess what? she comes in sits right beside me.That was wierd enough.
But it gets very strange then because her & i started getting convicted by the Holy Spirit on the very same issues..we both went up for the alter call ( my very first time) and she was called out by the, she was crying.
Afterward, she starts telling me all the thoughts she was having during the sermon and she was having the exact same pictures in her mind that i was, but didnt want to say it out loud. I started getting so excited & telling her things & she was telling me things....
What i find so odd is that we met a few years back at a church sweetheart banquet with our husbands.Since then we've had this on & off friendship because we are such opposites..she's a flake, forgets to call, doesnt show half the time etc...and i am rigid, very scheduled, etc.For instance most of the get togethers never happen because she doesnt plan well, overschedules herself then cant make it at the last minute. Very frustrating for me.
But we both have this stubbornness to us- difference is people see her as vulnerable & me as unapproachable. by the way, that theme continues...

Bottom line is, i saw & heard some things tonight that were downright scary. Looked at bible prophecy and for the first time see how truly close we are to the events foretold in Luke 21.And not just because of the speaker, but because of world events & the order they are happening.I am more of a cynic than anyone i know. But i got to thinking- what if?
What if Jesus comes in the next 5 minutes, or the next year?What will i ,ME, say when asked to give that account of my life? When i cant compare myself to my neighbor? How will i explain that i didnt do exactly as i was commanded?

Food for thought- i'd rather die a believer & find out there is no god , than to not believe , die & find out there is.Just because you dont believe in hell , that wont stop you from going there.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

A Time for Reflection

With all the stress going on, one way i relax and get my head clear is painting.Unless of course i drink too much wine while painting---then my brain fogs over--lol! Never-the-less here is the latest project, painted while reflecting on recent events. I'm hoping to soon "calm the waters" inside of me i guess.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Succession depression

so here's the deal. My company has de-valued me. I assume it's a sign of the times. I know i am worth much more and i have let them know.The ball is in their court, but i have other fields to play in.I so much love teaching and researching. My heart is sunk to know that the company places so little value on quality education that i would be considered a per diem employee with no benefits.I pray that the Lord will rescue me from this and the company will see that it is in need of the position. Unfortunately, like so many businesses , they had the misconception that saving dollars will build their reputation and end in success. i know better from experience. You get what you pay for. or better yet, your values become apparent to your consumers.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011


I 've had just about enough of everyone & everything lately. I am so sick of trying to please everyone and the more i try the more i get treated badly. I think i'm just going to drop out of the world, run away , change my name & never come back

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Who are my readers?

A request......I am just curious...each time i sign in to write a new post i see that my "readers" button changes . Some days its 3 , other days it's, who are you?Family? Friends?Co- workers? All you need to do is push the comments button at the end of the post, sign in anonymously and give me a hint! you don't have to say your name....and mom, i know you read!
Everyone else--- give me something to do-----make up a clue, and i'll try to figure it out!


Saturday, March 5, 2011

Oceans & Opportunity

Some days you know things are just not right. For instance, i was on my way home Thursday night, driving over an hour after a 12 hour day of teaching, whilst eating cold , plain string beans with my fingers.That was part of the lunch i was supposed to have, but was too busy.Not only does this say "Man, i must be really hungry to eat these like this" but also, just the fact that i have to pack this item because i can't afford groceries sure hits home lately.
To be fair, so as not to suffer the indignity of attempting to gain sympathy, i could go shopping at the dollar store and pick up a few items, which i did 2 days before ( sardines, beets, small tin of chicken salad, and some animal crackers) . The other side of the story is that i have been too busy to shop as well. So it's been good, it's been bad.
I am in the process of trying to work things out at the job, while still looking around the job market for opportunity. I have an application in, and an interview set up, but i'm not sure it's the job i'm looking for.Deep down, i really want the educational thing to work out, so i guess i'm hanging on like a dingleberry clinging to an old elastic waistband.
On a happier note, i am going over to watch my cute little niece today. I miss her sweet smile and yummy baby smelling hair! I just wanna chew on her she's so adorable..haha!
I have been painting a little here & there, but not in the last 2 weeks because of work hours, i am posting a few of the latest here.