Saturday, February 26, 2011

I Need a new Job

Okay, i'm really in a pickle. I love teaching the agency classes. I love doing the research & typing up in services.So why does this always happen to me? Here's the sitch:
Up until approximately the beginning of February, things were going along fine. The week right before i left for my trip i knew , just knew something was wrong. I sensed tension and irritation with me from certain office employees and i even knew (call it premonition) exactly what complaints were about to be lodged against me.All of the discontent rested with those who were not getting what they wanted---mainly me to just sign off on incompetent nurses & aides stating they were competent. I had just gotten to the point where i could not ethically, or morally, as well as legally just sign my name on the dotted line because someone needs coverage.
So i pre-defended myself and wrote an extremely long email to my superior the day i left explaining that he would probably be getting complaints and gave him the reasons. I explained that just about everyone & anyone was being thrown into the vent class regardless of weather they had had any experience at all out in the field with peds, trach or vents. That people were being put into vent class before pedia prep(totally backwards) and that they were not being given the manual to study from beforehand so they didnt have an opportunity to study the concepts or know what to expect. The final straw was when a nurse aged 70 who hadnt been in the field for 30 years with mild Mental Retardation was signed up .I cannot produce miracles. And she just could not grasp even the most simple of concepts- like the differences between types of trachs. She retook the class a week later & still could not understand how to do a circuit change. A complaint was lodged against me because these types of individuals & situations are what i have been challenged with and i refuse to sign my name stating they are competent to take care of a trached & vented child.
now it seems that if a potential employee comes to class late and i try to accomodate them by allowing them in (although i dont agree with this) then it is my job to work around them & either hold up the rest of the class & make everyone stay late, or i have to stay late and catch them up on all that they missed because ,holy -heck, they feel I'm being unfair to them.
One of them had the nerve to be over 1/2 an hour late, stating she couldnt stay later to take a test than the scheduled time since someone was dropping her son off at the office, and then complained that she would have to come back another time to take the test!!! and guess what? i got reamed out for it...
I am currently searching for a new position. I also discovered that due to a clerical error back in October, my hourly rate was dropped by $2 an hour and they owe me over $1000. No one has gotten back to me as to when i will be reimbursed.
Believe me, this is just the tip of the ice-burg. I have emails from the ceo's telling me to do something and then the next day emails saying they never said that. I have absolute , written proof. But does it matter? nope, apparantly it's still my fault. I give up...time to go paint.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Home Sweet Home

The last day on the site the church is being built on. This is where we worked!
A typical home in the Boguis area
The "improved" path to the outhouse.
Yup, the women worked as hard as the men!!Thats me, shoveling graveal to transport to the concrete mixer. we would then fill buckets and pass them in a line one to another until it reached the holes we needed to fill.
My boots at the end of the day...thank God they washed up really well---a special Thanks to Dick(my stepfather) for lending them to me. Several days the mud was up past the boots to my shins.Walking was like being in quicksand!
These are the pastors two sons-Semion &Judah

phew! i'm back & what a trip it was! it took 16 hrs to get there -including a 2 hr drive to Reagan airport, a short wait there, flight to miami, longer layover(1 1/2 hrs), flight to Henowarra(?) airport in St. Lucia, then a 1 1/4 hr bus trip to the hotel in Castries.I was absolutely beat!I barely made it through dinner.It was hard to chose which pics to post so i only chose a few that represented the majority of our time.There are other pics of the scenery and beauty of the island itself, but most of our time was spent working in 100 degree heat with no shelter from the sun.Many times there would be sudden HUGE downpours, creating an even muddier site we had to work in.The people were extremely kind there, most very poor.The buildings are not even close to what we call livable environments, including the "businesses".We worked our butts off, ate well(creole based dishes cooked by the locals and brought to the work site where we ate sitting on cinder blocks ),and slept well. Praise God for the opportunity to serve!!!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Off to St. Lucia!

I leave tonight at 3am(well, technically tomorrow). Excited, and nervous.It sounds like a lot of hard, backbreaking work...but I am prying, and i hope you will to, that this will help to change the lives of others.As we build the foundation of the church, our goal is to also build the foundation of faith in the village.They will now have a place to go for worship & praise, and for help in coping with the domestic violence that is so prevalent on the island.No electricity, running water, or toilets....bugs galore and sweltering heat....God willing, i'll be home in a week!

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Decisions, Decisions

Another couple of blows at work. The clinical director for the 4 local branches returned from M.I.A. and decided to make a sweeping change to the schedules because some of the offices were whining about not being able to schedule on their assigned day. This happened because they were never told that i didnt like that plan since one office would get shorted a day, and also because any branch can cancel the night before and no one else has a chance to schedule then.Here is my solution- make them all starve along with me & lose their homes to foreclosure and maybe then they will understand the impact their unwillingness to compromise has caused.As i tried to accomodate everyone as best i could ,i depleted my own savings trying to keep my head above water.So, maybe if they had to live day to day for awhile along side me, they would be willing to adjust a little.
Anyway, i know that i have to put it all in Gods hands and walk the walk. I can't be a talk the talk Christian, and behave as though faith doesnt apply to me. I have had to humble myself and ask my hubby for 1,000 toward mortgage for march. But when i do get to discuss this with my immediate supervisor this week, he will know that i will not settle for less than 40 hours per week anymore. He will also know that i expect some kind of vacation benefit & holiday pay , along with immediate reimbursement if i am to register for this CPR instructor Certification since i can barely afford to put out $ 230 for it ahead of time.There needs to be a plan to compensate my salary for the days i'll be off to get that certification also.
If not, i will, as much as it pains me, have to walk away. after all, i am not getting salary, and am not even making as much as some of their LPN's.I have been flexible & willing to extend patience to them to develop this position.I , at this point, receive no vacation hours, no PTO, no paid holidays and no guarantee of hours from day to day. I dont get insurance, and they no longer match 4 on our 401k's.I don't ask for mileage, havent asked for reimbursement for home office supplies i've used...the list goes on. They need to realize they don't get something for nothing forever.
I believe in calculated risk, investment in a project , and a period of adjustment in things like this. But i will not lose my house or my dignity at home for this.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Flesh Days

Once again it is time to enter a more...virtuous post...
I find that the year has just begun , the first day of the second month is over. So, approximately 32 days into my year of giving, i must admit to times of defeat.These are the times i almost cannot stand myself because i know that i am wallowing in self -pity, and that is certainly NOT a virtue. It does not move God, it does not change my fate, it does nothing to forward the kingdom, simply leads me to the wine bottle and vegetating in misery. I know this in my mind, yet, human emotion , as it is a weakness most days, is there none-the-less.
Take, for example, my job.I LOVE teaching, i love research, i love learning, i love putting it all together! i love to show other nurses how to deal with certain issues, and i even enjoy the input and help of various office staff- especially those who bring me teaching tools and supplies!!
More so, i adore a challenging new project. So far, i have mostly enjoyed scheduling and striving to carve out a niche for myself in this new position.
But (yes, here it is) LATELY....
I have had flesh days.Days when i think to myself "why is this or that person being short with me or complaining about their scheduling issues or dismissing emails that are important to me?"I get upset that i feel so unsupported at times and the people who seemed so pleased to have someone to focus just on classes, and thereby ease up the clinical managers time in this way....someone to be available & flexible, someone accomodating as one can be, can treat me so rudely.
These are the times i need to refresh myself in the word. Times to remember God's promises, and remember my goal to give this year ...
Acts 20:35 "In everything I did , I showed you that by this kind of hard work, we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said "It is more blessed to give than to receive".
Now, what i do is not hard work, at least to me, and i don't intend to berate anyone by calling them "weak".I believe this passage is more than it seems.Sometimes we are doing the hard work on the inside- remaining humble, not grumbling or complaining, fault-finding , telling ourselves to "get over it & move on- don't be rude- don't start trouble". That can be really hard. You bite your tongue so hard you taste blood.The weak person may be yourself in these conditions, still being affected by the things of this world, allowing emotion to dictate your thoughts and dilute your goals. Sometimes we need to give our kindness to others, understanding that they struggle along with the rest of us.Everyone is fighting a hard battle. They may be taking it out on you , yes- because you are an easy target! What would you rather be....their cushion or their ammo? i guess thats why i chose to "let them get away with it".
In the end i know that however small, i gave them a measure of relief. I gave them someone to vent at, a person who won't fight back and upset them even more.This, i have learned .
It is never a good thing to perpetuate a bad situation by embroiling yourself in it.Never get involved in their personal drama. You only steam up inside and simmer with anger, you make poor choices.Your words are no longer uplifting, but are vicious weapons.
This is not holiness, not living in the fruit of the spirit. We need to be peacekeepers to show others a true walk in our faith.
And, yes, we may fail...inevitably , we will.But pressing forward, and knowing the "peace of God that surpasses understanding" will soon be upon us....ahhhh...arent you glad you're not an atheist???