Wednesday, March 31, 2010

And so it Ends...

monday was a little better. i slept great and was up at 10am..i was able to take my time , went to the village to get a sub & coffee(22.00!!). We went shopping at a sweet little shop we like called The Vermont Country Store. I was able to find most of my souveniers for everyone there. We came back to enjoy the free BBQ dinner at the Inn, then hopped in the jacuzzi & sauna for a bit. I think the best thing about this weekend though was that i finally discovered that i can watch my Lost episodes at, since i can no longer get them to load at Yay! I caught up on the last 6 episodes!.

Unfortunately a happy ending for the trip was not to be.

We got up early Tues. morning at 7am left by 8:30,after partaking of the free continental breakfast. We stopped for about 20 minutes at a shop my friend needed to go to then were on the road.At approximately 11:45 we got stopped about 2-300 yrads behind a horrible accident and sat in the same spot for 3 hours. when we finally got clearance to turn around for the detour we almost immediately ran in to the line of folks also trying to get on the detour exit. more waiting.we drove for a bit the ran suddenly ran into a blizzard. slowwwwer driving .

Next up was an hour 1/2 delay sitting in construction.All told, the 7 hour trip turned into 15 hours. I arrived home at 11:30 pm..exhausted, sore,and missing a night of work which i am sure i will probably be written up for .

At any rate i know there will be repurcussions.

So, happy to be home this morning, i have been busy- failing an online EKG test for which i will now have to retake the 4 days of classes for.And playing text tag with my daughter about wedding expenses and plans.Then my son comes in and needs to borrow money for his car inspection, which is due today. Ugh..when will i be able to stop complaining!!???

I have to go in to work tonight as well.

But since these past few posts have been kinda negative i have included a picture of the only reall reason for going up north(if you dont ski).Enjoy!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Oh, even better...

I am officially starving.Sick to my stomache. and fed up. I really hate this place.The hotel, i mean. Of course they would give away free trips to it. No one in their right mind would ever PAY to stay here. This morning after donning my clothes quickly, i walked about 1/2 a block down & around the hotel to the other side where the "free" continental breakfast is. There were a few bran muffins, old fruit and stale looking cereal left. No seats available....i had to sit at the edge of a fireplace hearth. I still had sheet wrinkles on my face, hair matted to my head & teeth with a layer of morning breath on them but since there was no food in the room, no spoons to eat my instant oatmeal, and no way of cooking anything, i had to get sustainance somehow.
This afternoon, my friend got back early from the slopes so we drove a bit over 2 hours north to visit an aquaintance (who turned out not to be around.)
On the plus side, we stopped to dine at an AWESOME bistro and i truly enjoyed that part of the day!
I did a bit of shopping, but most places were closed- it being sunday.The worst part of the day though,was coming back. We left about 6pm and hadnt had dinner. My freind got lost because the stupid i-phone GPS signal wasnt picking up right and it took us over 3 hours. It was almost 9:30 when we got here and now nothing is open , i am sick to my stomach. we had to stop at a 7 eleven so i could get a loaf of bread just to keep from barfing.
At this very moment my friend is downstairs at the bar somehow managing to stomache yet another beer, in spite of not eating dinner. Whilst i sit in this sorry room, nauseas and ravenous with no way of getting a hot dinner.
Just goes to show you, it doesnt pay to stay cheap.

First Night-Stratton i am in this poor excuse for a hotel at the end of ski season in Stratton, VT.Let me tell you about my first night. We arrived at about 6pm..loaded our stuff to the room and , after discovering the endless LACK of amenities, took the shuttle to dine at the village restaurant-Mulligans. We paid $13.00 a piece for a grilled chicken salad(which was fairly yummy) and came back to watch "Blindside" on a rigged up PC laptop -we had to sit the computer on a chair between the beds and run the cord to an outlet. This, because there's no dvd player in the room tv.
Among the other things lacking is a decent coffee pot. The one in here was probably on the clearance rack of Walmart for two bucks, and was used by Fred Flintstone as a child. It holds 4 cups of water which takes about 10 minutes to brew, and does not have a drip stop.NO microwave.
Another lovely feature is the broken shower spigot handle. You get a wonderful sense of adventure as you never know from moment to moment what temperature your water will be....depending on when your neighbor starts to shower or flush the toilet.When we did turn off the lights at 11:30 ,i nestled down into my pint size overlysoft pillow and managed to sleep a few winks in between being awakened by slamming doors, my friend snoring, and his alarm clock at 6:15(which he didnt hear & i had to wake him for).Approxmately 1 hour later, he returned to the room from the continental breakfast and proceeds to turn on a light directly in line with my face and rustle loudly through plastic bags to get dressed. Finally he leaves, i fall back asleep( covering my head with the dwarf pillow) and soon discovered that the do not disturb sign had not been placed on the door as i was suddenly awakened by a large black lady droning"HOUSEKEEPING" at me live from my bedside. ARRRRgh.So, i am stuck i this little room to play alone until my friend returns from the slopes at 1:30..
What's a woman to do? Well, here below you will see that i did the "girly "thing and had my self a little make over session. Please note, start to finish, the deep , dark circles which have formed under my eyes for just such an occasion...

And thats the way i begin my day in sunny, cold, Vermont. The upside???We get to go to Stowe this afternoon to shop!!hooray!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


In everyones life there are moments. Today was one of mine.
I realized that :
-i had spent the day teaching others how to take care of trached & vented infants,
-came home & ran three miles....
-relaxed with one solitary glass of wine
-and began reading & enjoying a book about Jesus.
Maybe not such a big deal to most.
But anyone who has known me for years will know exactly how impossible it is that i can do all of this today. Anyone who knows my background, my limitations, my personality can attest that even 8-10 years ago no one, least of all me, would have seen any of this coming!
I would no sooner have believed myself that i would become a nurse as i would have believed i'd work for NASA.I smoked so heavily that i could barely walk a mile without getting out of breath.I couldnt stop at just one glass of wine..i needed shots of sambouca, bars & after hours dance clubs to fulfill me.And there was no way in Hades i would have picked up ANY book with the word Christ or Lord in it.
I can truly attest, as living proof, of the power of God .There is simply no other way this life i lead would have occured naturally.It is highly probable that most people who lived like i did would have been out on the streets, homeless, abusing drugs, or in prison.Without going in to detail, many of my aquaintances from those days are doing just that.
I recall that, in some rare moment of noticing the glory surrounding me , and in great sorrow at my prospects for happiness i prayed a hard fought prayer and asked, begged...for God to help me.And looking back to that "moment"(as i do from time to time) i know that it was divine interevention that saved my pitiful life.
Some who read this might scoff, and make excuses, rationalize or reason away the events as coincidence, personal motivation,hard work or even luck...But i know the truth.
And in these small moments as i go about my day, suddenly noticing the miracle of my life..i am beyond words in gratitude for a loving, forgiving, and all powerful God.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Stress & more Stress

This week has been soooo long and stressful. My back is killing me and it wont let up. I want to start running regularly and going to the gym again after april 1st..i am just wondering if i'll be physically able!I am sure it's my job..i get so stressed & tense i actually ache from my shoulders on up for days after my shifts. and my back gets so bad i can barely walk, much less run.Most of it this past week is related to working 5 really rough shifts with only friday off(which didnt even touch my much needed relief). I had a high acuity 4 of the 5 days.
Tuesday was the start of it- i had 6 patients for the first time ever...i managed it- barely. i was so exhausted and wound up having to give report up to 7:30..This is the hours are supposed to be 6:45p-7:15a..i usually get there at 6:20 because i have to in order to get the kardex info and patient assignment, most of the time i get report over with by 8p so i can get started, but tues no one was even READY to give report til i got done with it at 8:30...starting my night out late from the beginning.
In the morning it took me til 8am to give report, finish charting,etc. and then i got called to the supervisors office-----i was blind-sided when she gave me a written warning...i thought i was doing well and she was going to commend me!!anywa, i was so sore and shocked and upset i couldnt defend myself. i went home , got into a huge fight with my hubbs(who has no frickin sympathy or kindness in him sometimes) and only slept 3 hours -waking up thinking about work. i went in early(5p) pulled out a bunch of old files that had been purged from the charts to PROOVE my innocence. The warning was rescinded, but my trust in the manager, and my nerves have never receovered. Everyday i go in with high blood pressure, fearing a write up.
The rest of the week the acuity of my assignments got worse & worse surmising in last night.
I had 6 patients -2 with critical drips, 2 with TPN, 3 with Svedman wound on a vent, one who had an unexpected MI that day, and a ton of labs to get on each patient. It was horrible. I havent gotten to eat lunch there all week..thank goodness for granola bars i had to sneak into the bathroom to eat (after 6 or so hours of holding my urine and no chance for even a bathroom break)..
They say it's bad everywhere. But i truly challenge someone to be in my position at such a place.Most of the nurses there who've been in ICU for many years with other relavant background experience are drowning ...
One said last night "this here is an ICU setting with critical drips like the ICU, but with a double and triple patient load of an ICU.We're really put in an impossible situation."

yeah--- and she's worked all over the U.S. for over 30 years. She said once that if you can survive here, you can work anywhere in the world, as long as you can speak the language.
Enough said.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Going through the Motions

Still steam rolling along the great and scary highway of life. This week was my "heavy" week=tues,weds, thurs, sat & sun. Next week is "light" week=off mon,tues,weds, fri, sat, sun,mon--yes! i only work thurs and dont go back till the following tuesday!This is also the weekend i go to Vermont.
I'm trying to decide what to do up there.The first year i relaxed with massages,etc. Went out drinking to the local bar caves. Last year i was studying for my clinicals.I know i will do a little shopping(my moms birthday) but since i dont ski.....
Oh well, at least i'll be away from home-NO HOUSEWORK.
I do wonder what the room will be like that we're staying in.I am hoping for a kitchenette & decent bed.
Almost time to go to work..the dreaded countdown begins. Last shift i go in , had 6 patients.In the middle of report on the first one, another nurse runs down the hall saying"you need to start a Dopamine drip on your patient in rm#..."I am freaking out. I have no idea who this patient is and he is a new admit.By the time all that was squared away (30 minutes later) i STILL had to get report on the other patients. What a freakin' night!It turned out ok though.
My stomache is in knots evrytime i have to go to work there. I decided today that even if i had a whole summer off it would not be enough if i knew i had to go back there. I hope i can live through this.

Peace out!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Awesome Energy

To keep up with a daily assignement of running, and working i need a few items...

Just after a run, or anytime really...
Fully locked & loaded every mornin' with extra bold!

Absolutely the best supplement-bar none

My fav energy drink..
I've had some good results with these items and a few others including Acai juice, Goji berry juice,green tea and of course physical exercise.
In spite of all this..
I hope i can someday soon afford botox.....i just tried taking about a dozen pics of myself only to be disgusted at the aging that has taken place in such a short period of time.Now, if i were,like, famous & had a boatload of money anyway, i probably wouldnt care since hopefully my looks would have already been part of what made me the money(maybe).
But to sit here in the real world ,looking at photos of days gone by , and my increasingly wrinkled , drooping face is a real downer.
Anyway, i really dont care that i should "age gracefully" or that looks shouldnt matter or tha i should be "comfortable in my own skin." No, i want new skin, thank you very much. And i want to age like a cat-they never look old!Mostly ,people- looks DO matter. If they didnt, none of our advertisement would contain human beings.Especially young, beautiful humans.
So i ill continue to pursue my dream of getting that botox.
On another note i thought i'd share that my neice was sick this weekend so i had to take her home early -she cried almost the whole visit & had a fever. Oh well! better luck next time...

Thursday, March 11, 2010

A Season Soon Passing

So, i just wanted to include a few photos here of the winter happenings in my life since the New Year began.I took precious few pictures with all the stress & business of the new job.
I was"nt completely isolated i ,but it sure felt like it.
I didnt do any 5k races since the one in December, although i have looked for a few online- hopefully will be one close to home in late spring!
My daughter's wedding plans are coming along-she has the place, the pastor, the photographer, the caterer, and probably the cake maker. Her dress is paid for and ordered.She has been very busy & vigilant. I have only been along for the ride!lol!
As you know, a few of the events this year have been:
1. losing one of the two new jobs (&stressing over the hospital one!)
2. the death of my dog, Tessa
3.The sweetheart banquet with my hubby
4. the purchase of new leather furniture(related to my allergy problem)
5.going roller skating with a friend(has been years since i did that!)
6. visiting my niece(see below) and my grandmother
7.taking many online classes related to my hospital job

Yep..that's been the jist of my year. Not much to blog about in the sense of being interesing, but looking back, at least proves to me i had some contact with the outside world.
At the end of this month i have plans to go to Vermont for a few days with a friend. That should be interesting.This weekend i will be babysitting my niece for a few hours.And by the way(TADA!) i am finally on my own at the hospital as of this past Saturday & things went fairly well...PHEW!
So , i will keep posting as i am able and continue to hope for a moment of creative venture. Have a great week everyone!

Gavin-my only grandchild(so far!)

The big snow- our driveway!

My beautiful niece,Mikki...

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Early Riser

Well, i'm up & at'em this morning for an 8 am web class. I finally got off of orientation at work and was on Sat. & Sun. by myself!!!It went pretty well if i do say so myself. And i credit the Lord for everything!!He is my strength!
The class today is Pulmonary related. Promises to be dull.And i have another one this afternoon. Wound care- yahoo!
Since i havent blogged in quite awhile i am really out of practice, and hope to be able to capture my old style soon. I have been soooo busy , as you know , and havent put much thought into this post except to let ya'll know i'm still around.
See ya!