Sunday, February 28, 2010

A page from the Book of Blase

I have learned.....
That all things are possible .
That my mom was right, i would some day WANT to take a bath.
That just when you think you've done all you can, you can do more.
That animals are still wild no matter how long they have been trained.
That men do prefer blondes.
That the best student makes the best teacher.
That killing them with kindness is a win-win .
That God really does love us.
That good freinds are rarer than gold.
That i cannot play pool worth a darn.
That anyone can reinvent themselves.
That your kids will always need you.
That your family is more important than you think.

BUT, most importantly!
That forgiving promptly and completely is the only way that counts!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Not Measuring Up

I am doing really horrible at this nightshift. Every shift has gotten worse & worse. i get there early & wind up more behind than ever. i cried the whole way home today-out of frustration and humiliation.
What more can i say.

Sunday, February 21, 2010


Taking the time today to be grateful for:

Hot water in my bath tub
Clean warm comforters & pillows in my bed
The fact that i HAVE a bed
Choices of things to eat
A car that runs
Books to read
A body that works at 98% (most of the time)
Two warm kitty cats
A loving husband
The lives of my children and family
Having a computer & cell phone
The ability to think, love, laugh, and cry
God and Jesus.

Enjoy your day!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Snow Paralysis

During this Snowmageddon that we're currently experiencing, i am again stuck within the confines of 4 walls .
Unable to make it safely to work, and since i have risked life and limb these last two snow storms to make it in- today i declined.
I have used the time(in between watching storm coverage)to catch up on a book i purchased a few weeks ago called "A Call to Nursing" by Paula Sergi & Geraldine Gorman.It contains a whole bunch of short stories compiled from nurses. Some who quit the feild, new nurses, experienced ones, non traditional nurses,etc.It is so interesting reading the various oppinions of my colleagues, their stories, and even some poems. But one in particular stood out to me because it completely encompasses my stance at this time(on th heels of last night shift where my patient coded & died). Here is an excerpt by Jo Ann Papich, RN- one of those who quit:

"You cannot have a bad day.You are responsible for the lives of other human beings.You are exposed to diseases. You are exposed to violent patients.You cannot give tylenol unless the dr. says so, but you can run a code.You also get blamed when a patient does not get what he or she wanted on on dinner tray.Administrators cut your staffing by one nurse per shift but expect the same quality of carefrom you-and they need you to work "extra".
If you are sick, if you or a loved one is in the hospital,please remember this.Nursing is one of the most difficult jobs there is.It challenges the nurse physically,mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.Remember taht your nurse is overworked and tired.Remember there is a shortage of people who are willing to put themselves through this much stressday after day.Please appreciate your nurse while you still have one."

Amen to that.

Snow Paralysis

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Oh , the Snow!

There is snow.
Yesterday, i had almost made it home from work. I got to within 3 houses of my own when a 4 wheel drive vehicle coming the other way down the development road did not stop or back up to let me keep going up the hill. i had the speed i needed to get up it, until that point. So , of course, i got stuck, blocking the whole development . Ironically , a few minutes later , my husband arrived home and, seeing my car, attempted to go the other way around the development and he got stuck.A car behind me also went into the embankment.
What's so frustrating about the whole thing is that we both made it the whole way home from work only to get stuck in the development like that. And we knew it was going to happen because the township does a real sh*tty job of getting to us with their plows. Even when they do make it, they carve a one lane, barely -big-enough-for-a -VW path so that no one can pass each other and there's no where to pull into(since the snow piles up in hills in front of driveways.)It is completely ridiculous. My husband and son had to dig me out & push the car .Also of note here is that none of the neighbors came out to help me, inspite of the fact that we always help everyone snowblow and shovel.
At any rate, the stupid weather also kept me from working yesterday. I couldnt get to any appointments and lost a good days pay (about 300 dollars). I hadnt gotten a paycheck this past week, so it really sucked.
I am going out on 2 appointments today though,and i pray that i can find parking.Our church services were cancelled since they couldnt get the lot cleared in time.
I'm a bit light-headed again today, but at least i'm not at the hospital, which , by the way was extremely boring on nightshift.It was so quiet, and i was bored to peices most of the night. If all my nightshifts are like that, i will be losing all the speed skills i have developed.But i do get to draw labs and learn how to "stick" people for blood.I suppose when i have the full patient load of 6 it will be busier.
So for now that's the news. Hopefully i am not boring ya'll to death with my posts lately. I havent felt too creative and in fact wasted 4 hours yesterday trying to paint a picture with no decent results.Someone has stolen my talent and creativity.
Cannot WAIT for Spring.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Tonight's the Night(shift)

I officially start nights at the hospital tonight. My luck, a major snow storm blows into town to celebrate.
I dont think i'll mind driving in at 6pm. But the morning commute terrifies me!
I have had some pretty tricky days this past week. My doctor started me on a 2 week trial of ritalin to see if it would help me with what i thought was my A.D.D. getting worse with age. I have been very dizzy, unable to concentrate , as well as totally exhausted & off balance. I had really hoped for some relief. But the pills made things worse. I was just dizzy with my heart racing. I left a message with the doctors office weds. morning and havent heard back.I am thinking she must think i'm a hypochondriac. But for pete's sake, i almost fell down the stairs a few times this week and i am scared to peices when i'm driving that i will lose focus & wreck.
The worst fear is that i'll give someone the wrong medication at work. So far, i have been lucky.

I tried going off all my meds (all 2 of them-claritin and the sleeping pill of which i only take half anyway) but it got worse.Maybe it is all in my head.So i set up a psychiatric eval. appt. They just called to cancel. i destined to go insane?
Today & yesterday were'nt too bad.I've been a little tired, but i feel less dizzy. Perhaps it was a head cold, and i pray that ,if so, it is going away.
Enough about that.'
My cats are going to the vets today with hubbs. I just had to catch one for him since he yelled at me for being the only one who can get them. Stupid.He's the one who insisted they both go in for a check up after the dog died.
Also, i did meet with the nursing agency and have decided to do some work for them doing employee evaluations, and supervisory visits. The difference between what i had been doing and this, is that i dont have a caseload. I just look at it as some extra money, keeping my foot in the door and working in a position reserved for an RN at least.
So that's the buzz. Now i'm off to fit in some house work. Hopefully the roads will be clear tomorrow afternoon so i can start some visits and make some money!!!