Friday, November 13, 2009

The Porcine Connection

I dont know if anyone has noticed, but i live in this dinky little town of Dillsburg, pa...where we have just set a record for the # of earthquakes(specifically it's being called an earthquake swarm )reported in one years time...817.
This is nuts.
No one told me i had strangely moved to California by osmosis.And to think i have not "felt "even one .Many of my neighbors have, but i have been at work usually during the events...

that's my alibi & i'm stickin' to it!

Cheerily, however, some recent commenters on local news blogs/newspapers have shed some light on this, blaming:
1. the government digging underground tunnels ( as if Camp David needs to be extended into MY town)
2.2 different types of "incompatible " rock -are they getting divorced?
3. and, tonight, the large amounts of rain we've had this year-wet=faultline...what?
Now let me ask you folks...is this like the Bermuda Triangle Mystery?Do any of these sound like plausible reasons why, all of a sudden , this past year we have started getting earthquakes like this?
My vote goes for the underground tunnel. But then, again, i did see Elvis at the Uni-Mart last week...
Another, more troubling statistic i uncovered tonight...in contrast to the recently posted # of deaths related to the H1N1 virus in the U.S.(617), we are now suddenly at 3900 deaths in the U.S....hmmm...didnt they predict this would all blow over sometime last spring?The scary chaos continues.
And it's funny how many of the cases were first reported at the Mexican border.
I believe there's only one true explanation for all this.
Mexico is illegally transporting their pigs to Dillsburg via their extended drug tunnel network.
I bet they figure on making a quick buck selling pork rinds to.....(wait for it)
...yes, another statistic on news television tonight...
some of the 70% of overweight / obese Americans.
yep...it all makes sense now....they're definitely the cause of all this...;)

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