Saturday, August 29, 2009
1. i used to have an imaginary friend named Zutsi when i was about 8 or 9. He was a large pink & white dog .
2.i have a wishbone fetish. i absolutely cannot throw away any wishbones. I currently have a large collection of them hidden away in a dark cabinet.i have no idea why i do this. and , no, i do not use them in any voo doo rituals!
3.i cannot live without my burts bees lip balm.if i was stranded on a desert island , and had to chose only one item from home to have this would be my choice.
4.i have always had a crush on Lurch from the Adams Family.tall, dark & gruesome ,i guess.
5.i ask myself the same question every day. "what is wrong with me?" i may never have the answer.Maybe it's just menopause.
6. even though i just completed my degree, a huge part of me wonders if i still want to be a nurse
7.i hide stashes of sugary items from my husband so that only i can eat them, He still doesnt know about the big bag of peanut M&M's ....
8.i get really mad at myself for being so sensitive
9.it's just as hard for me to make myself exercise as it was 15 years ago.i have to talk myself into it everytime.
10.Strange things fascinate me-tombstones,groundhogs, stuff in other peoples grocery carts,the kama sutra, and surfers- to name just a few.
Friday, August 28, 2009
I was able to run 4 straight miles in under 45 minutes tonight. But , yet, this alone is not really why.
I took a new route on a loop around a business park that i'd mapped out via bike last week. There is a hotel on this loop and while running i had the privilege of "people-watching"- one of my very fav activities.(and free , too!)
One of the hotel guests was walking this route with her daughter. This is a 2 mile loop which i had to go' round twice(one time in reverse to counter the camber).
My elation is that i am finally able to lay my guilt to rest.For about 6 months now i have been struggling with feeling bad about being predjudiced against fat people. I admit that i have been predjudiced about it almost my whole life.
When i became a Christian 4 years ago , i started to feel bad about this but was unable to get past the things like increased health care premiums , taking up 2 seats on an airplane, having to circumvent the motorized cart riders in the store, etc. All of it made me bitter & resentful that i had to be"punished" for being able to control myself at the dinner table, and being disciplined enough to exercise.The worst part was being pushed, literally pushed, by a fat person while merely trying to stand in line somewhere, trying to get at something in a store , or them trying to get past me for some reason.
I mean, i am small. It doesnt take much to knock me over if you weigh more than 200 lbs.
But tonight, i am happy to report that i have proven to myself that it is actually NOT about them being fat. (Rudeness is a whole other animal, however.)
The mother & daughter i noticed walking were definitely not slim. I would venture to say mom weighed around 175 and the kid (about 9 or 10 years old) was around 90-100.BUT--- they were actually doing something . They were acting in a health-conscious manner. They were being active.
When i first saw them i was on my maiden loop . Up ahead i could barely see the two figures. Both were running, or attempting to. It didnt last long, they stopped & started walking after only a few seconds. Right then i couldnt tell if they were young, heavy, or what since they were approxmately half a mile ahead. When i got closer their size came into focus, and as i passed them, smiling, i wondered if they had just been chasing something and really were'nt out for very long.
But as i made my second loop, i passed them again.Yes, they WERE actually walking the whole loop.My heart was singing, i was so proud.
I didnt need to know them.
I was just so happy for them.
And i was especially proud of the mom, showing a great example to her daughter.
It was also proof positive to myself that i harbor no sterotypical grudge towards someone simply being overwieght. I am not a" size-ist"!!My attitude of disgust is truly toward those who refuse to even try to exercise or eat right. It is towards those who use excuses and expect others to cater to them and dont seem to care if they inconvenience others.It is toward those whose excuses become problems that become new excuses.
So---I stand firm in my previous notion,now a reality. I dont hate fat people.....
just fat heads.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Sometime back in june or july , my neighbor emailed me to ask if we were going to host our annual Block Party. She wanted to know because she said it was her turn to have a neighborhood party (over labor day weekend)and didnt want to infringe on ours. So i wrote back that it would be fine for her to have one & we would maybe host Halloween and do the block party again next year.About a month later , i saw her walking outside & asked which day she would be having it. She said she wasnt sure, but they had decided to have a smaller intimate gathering because of the economy. I said at that time i had taken off Saturday (originally she had asked me to make sure i was off & would be able to come).
i hadnt heard anything from her so i emailed her yesterday. Imagine my dismay when she now responded that they had decided not to have a party because the husband had started some projects & they woudnt be completed in time for a party.
I mean, i took off work. I conceeded NOT to have our party. And what really chapped my hide was the fact that they werent even going to tell us they werent having it.I on ly found out because i emailed her.
Somedays i just want to toilet paper houses.
I mean, that was pretty rude, right?Now i have no plans.
Anyway ,next topic.
Movie of the week: Mystic Pizza: this is another oldie but goodie depending on your mood. I hadnt seen this one for ages. Set in the late 80's at the height of the Madonna/ Cyndi Lauper/Boy george era this film features a burgoening Julia Roberts, a young Helen Hunt, and a very young & unknown Matt Damon(small role). Cool to see these guys just starting out. Funky 80's clothes & hairdo's , a smattering of sentimental songs, a campy plot typical of the teen romance scene at that time. Ahhh...memories.
Todays exercise log included a 5.5 mile bike ride followed by a 3.4 mile hilly run. My legs & back are gonna rebel tomorrow, but the upside is that Mr Scale & i have been getting along spendidly for months now. I do my thing, he does his. And we stay out of each others way. I feel the beginnings of a beautiful relationship.Harmoniuos in it's simplicity.
So now, i must get back to work..and i bid you adeiu!
While i was lifting though a random thought occured to me as i looked around. i noticed how being there with all those people was just like it must be for animals in a forest or a jungle....everyone making a bunch of random noises while completing their designated or required tasks, seemingly oblivious of everyone else, or maybe only occasionally communicating .It just struck me as odd that we are so like the animal kingdom in many ways, even though we rarely acknowlegde just how much!
Unfortunately i am here with a baby tonight who just doesnt want to sleep. So, i will be unable to post much. Be back tomorrow if all goes well.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
We met with a life insurance agent, and actually got a decent policy within our budget.
I feel a little better knowing that if hubbs meets an untimely demise that the house & vehicles will be paid off.
I went to a tanning appointment,with hubbs in tow so that we could indulge in a nice 3.4 run along the creek afterward.
We arrived at the site , stretched few seconds and headed out in the still hot, humid evening.
After only a few seconds, hubbs trotted past me and proceeded to make his way to approximately 1/2 mile ahead of me for the next 20 minutes, much to my chagrin. I wondered "Is this possible? Can he really be in better shape than me? arrgh!"I guess i better be eating my words about surpassing him right now if this is any indication. But, i digress.
After about 2 miles, i was just starting to get in my groove when i looked down at my water bottle with the zipper pouch and to my horror noted that at some point it had come unzipped and my contents had fallen out somewhere. The contents being my Burts Bees lip balm (no biggie) and MY CAR KEY! I was in a pure state of panic.
First of all, at this point, my husband was out of sight.Somewhere along the way he had gotten even further ahead ( & how humiliating for me) . I was so upset, i made the snap decision to backtrack right away based on the fact that it would be getting dark soon.My mind was swirlling, my heart was racing and all i could think was"He's going to kill me. We only have this key. The cell phone and all other keys are locked in the car.He's going to kill me"
As i ran, then walked , then ran , then walked, desperately searching the ground , road and weeds for this key i became increasingly aware that i had made a huge mistake. I was way more than halfway back when i discovered the missing items. Why had i turned around instead of going ahead and getting my husband to help me ? After all, two sets of eyes are better than one and it was getting darker & darker.
It was taking longer to find the key than i thought. I spent the first 10 minutes swearing and the next 15 praying harder than i had in a long time.
I started devising plans in my head :
stopping at someones house to call ...who?... my cell (in the car) had all the #'s stored in it.
I could try to flag a car down to drive me back to hubbs & maybe get a ride home to get the spare key.
But the key was in the safe and the safe key was-guess where!Not to mention, so was the house key.
We didnt have a flash light and it was a long walk home. I had to leave in about an hour for work...you better believe i was considering running deep into the woods to hide forever.
Maybe i could hitchhike a ride to the bus station, and send a letter from another state.
Just when i had resigned myself to begging for mercy and submitting to a months worth of preparing his favorite dishes while being reminded daily of my carelessness...
I look up and here comes my husband driving the car .
Yep. I hadnt even taken the key from him when we started .He had it all along. Ironically i had just found the lip balm a few seconds before.
I could have kissed him.....except that we were both swimming in sweat. He said i scared him to death, he thought i'd gotten hit by a car or abducted!And believe me, there was a point where i'd wished for either of those things rather than facing him.
In retrospect, even though it kinda ruined the evening, i still got in about 3 miles.And things worked out.We made it home and were able to laugh about it.
But most of all it taught me a very valuable lesson. I will be buying a magnetic key holder to attach to my car somewhere right before i head out to run.I will take my cell when running even when i'm with someone else .
And i will safety pin that darned zipper to within an inch of it's life from now on!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Tuesday morning my friend & i finally made it to Roots Farmers market where i got a delicious bounty of fresh produce including such mouth-watering delights as cherries, strawberries, oranges, plums,bananas , peaches, boston & romaine lettuce, fresh spinache,peppers & squash. i also obtained some old Trivial pursuit games i didnt own, indulged in a fresh-made sub, and bought a bear claw for the mancubs.
Now that i've updated on my week, on to more important matters...
I've been thinking about a goal i had listed at the beginning of this year. i posted that i wanted to focus more on people this year as opposed to things, and as opposed to looking inward, i wanted to focus more outward. well, i do believe it's time to put that to bed.
Since putting my focus on others this year, an unwanted side effect became apparent. Perhaps yet another flaw to be worked on , but at the same time an enlightenment.
what i've realized, unfortunately, is that i have become a tad bitter toward people mainly due to my own need to actually be acknowledged once in awhile for the things i do.
i started noticing how upset i get when i dont get a thank you or a return message, email or text. i have sat around in bewilderment wondering why many of the people i've reached out to(they say you have to be a friend to have a friend- this is bullsh*t) have all but dismissed or ignored me . And i realize that there is still a very selfish side of me that God has been dealing with me about.
And it is my belief (my epiphany) that i am being humbled.
I believe that God is going to make me go it alone for awhile, so that i am humbled, and alone- for my own good.
And overall, it makes perfect sense.
I do need to turn inward, find peace & fulfillment, and lose that need for approval. i need to lose the desire to be "popular" and to spend sometime alone with myself, realizing that no man can satisfy like the Lord. Man will always disappoint.
Ad i know that it will last as long as it needs to. The enlightenmenet part is that all i have to do is rest . yes, rest- in the peace of God.I dont have to figure it out. i dont have to be burdened, i dont have to stress. that's not my job.
I'm exactly where i need to be.
And when God is ready, he will move me forward. Nothing I try is as powerful as the plan He has for me.
So, for now, i will rest in the arms of that dragon. after all- "fear not!" is the most oft repeated command in the bible.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Many times, after i post about something that incites my emotions, such as yesterdays post, i go through a "morning after" hangover of guilt about it. This usually happens when i rant & riot about my pet peeves-like non-health conscious or rude people, Walmart or politics.
So, first of all- i want to apologize publically.
Just so it's "out there" , here is a list of my own flaws:
1. i am very critical of others
2.i complain- a lot!
3.i am stubborn, cynical,b*tchy, &oppinionated
4. i nag
5.i eat sugary stuff. yes, i DO have a sweet tooth.
6.i tend to over -exercise(which is JUST AS UNHEALTHY as under-exercising)
7. i do get lazy and blow things off sometimes.
I am sure those who know me well could add to this list.And , in all fairness, i invite them to!
I am working on the above list. i am, and always will be a student of life. I, like many others, am a work in progress. Each and every day i try very hard to improve on something, even if it's only one thing. Even if it's only one comment i keep to myself, or allow myself to be reprimanded only once that day without lashing out.
Most of the time, when i make posts about the things that bother me, the underlying reason truly stems from the desire to help others.
i desperately want to help. I want to share my experiences and feelings and advice with others. i want to be there to answer any questions they have, or provide direction when i dont have the answers.
Most of the time, though, i come across like one of Jobs friends- giving advice instead of comfort.
Still working on that. My tongue is my greatest enemy.
So, in closing, i'd like to add that i am sincerely grateful for all of my friends, my family, the families that entrust the care of their children to me, the people who read & support my blog, and for the undeserved blessings bestowed upon me.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
For instance , we start to believe that we can never lose weight, or that we are stuck in a situation for life or we begin to label ourselves as something (an athelete,a caretaker, a laborer) and then that small part of us begins to sum up the whole -in our minds. The good side to this is that sometimes we have to start believing in something to make it true. Like believing we can accomplish a goal, or overcome an addiction.
But even those "good" things can become a hindrance if we start to focus too much on our "beliefs" about ourselves and forget about the "truths".
Let me speak about my own personal journey with this (of which i am still on!).Everyday, i get up believing that i am a disciplined individual(the "belief") who will accomplish a bunch of tasks on a list, and will ultimately accomplish the goal of being an accomplisher ... ( a"truth" about myself).I know this sounds redundant, but anyone can look around and find other people doing this. Understanding this about myself has been a Godsend at times since i can tend to get too disciplined & dogmatic about things and lose the joy of the finer things in life. Like connecting with people.Like watching the clouds. Like listening to the birds.Like just laying down on the cool tile floor and petting my cat for a moment.
Today was a very good example(and i have posted about days like these before.)
I woke up with a list of things i needed and wanted to do. I needed to sleep as long as possible.I needed to pick up my car from the shop. I had to do mundane tasks like pack my lunch, give the dog meds,etc. I had invited a friend over for coffee and a movie, but since that friend always cancels at the last minute i figured i'd REALLY be going to the gym instead.
When that freind actually showed up (on time like i insisted)i figured "oh, she will probably leave very shortly so i'll still have time to get that run in." Well, she stayed past the planned time and it was a very nice, relaxing evening. I didnt let myself get into watching the clock,or feeling pressured to "get that fitness routine in".
There was a point at which i simply told myself to let go and enjoy the unplanned moment.
It's the moment where you decide to go with the flow, and forget your agenda, if only temporarily. When you discover that you are not ONLY what you have labled yourself to be, but are allowing a new part of yourself begin to form.
I am, of course, i no way advocating a laissez-faire attitude here. In order to stay productive & responsible we do need to keep our heads on straight. We cant go around pretending that our responsibilities dont exist.
But there is a time to exhale. And sooner or later you can begin to beleieve something new about yourself--- at worst- you will discover a bad habit or thought pattern, but at best you may find something positive, enriching, and deeply comforting.
Friday, August 14, 2009
You gotta love this. I mean, have you ever seen anything so hilarious!? Just had to include this in todays post as a FunFactor.
Today was an interesting, yet frustrating day.
First of all, i have come to the conclusion that i am one of those rare persons who actually needs to be up many hours (like,say, 20) before i am able to sleep well.After reading more about insomia, i have discovered that there are actually some people who are "built" this way. I realized that my pattern has been being able to sleep well every other day. Funny, it never occurred to me before to look at the pattern.
So i slept well yesterday , but today not.
Anyhoo, the plan was for today to be a bike ride day, utilizing my newly aquired & quite nifty wireless speedometer on a route that will later be a running route.
My not-so-handy husband decided my bike tires were flat, and despite my objections proceeded to inflate the front tire with his electric pump,while i hand pumped the rear one. whilst i was in the throws of pumping i hear a sudden "whoosh..pop!"....and of course , the front tire tube had burst. I was absolutely furious with him since i had warned him NOT to inflate it too much. He had inflated it to the max. recommended 65psi. arrrgh!So this little mishap cost us another 1 1/2 hours of running around , wasting gas and money on a new tire tube.
This put us on the route at 8:30 pm- very dark outside and pressed for time.
Fortunately the plus side of all this was :
1.that i discovered the route to be a perfect 2 mile loop that i can do twice around for a nice mostly flat run, with very low traffic in a fairly well lit area(although i wont go alone after 8 pm)
2. it didnt take us long to bike it,
3.so i made it home in time to change for work
4. i did get to spend a little time with hubbs, and
5. It was a whole lot cooler & less humid outside at that time of night.
It all worked out in the end. See, ya just gotta see the positives
and remember- life is an adventure- everyday!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
I didnt blog much yesterday , basically because :
- a. i was really b*tchy because , once again, i didnt sleep well
- b. as a result, i didnt do as much as i had intended which left very little to tell and
- c. i read some of my books about insomnia and felt a bit skittish when i read that if you drive when you've been awake for longer than 15 hours and kill someone in an accident, you can be charged with vehicular homicide.
That sort of put a damper on things, ya know?
Truly, how many people get up at 5am , go to work, get back home after 5 pm, and then go out for a bite to eat at 7 or so? right there is 14 hours, so by the time you leave the restauraunt to drive home- you're risking being charged with HOMICIDE!?????
For pete's sake, this is the norm for most people.
I can see if the number was like 20 hours or so.
At any rate, scary stuff. I guess we all should hire chauffers.
Speaking of being guilty- has anyone got a clue as to how Obama has remained in office for even this long? I mean, this whole new healthcare reform. I cant believe he hasnt been at least threatened or shot at by now. First he takes our money (robs the peoples 401k'S) then pays out big bucks to large corporations so they can squander it on bonuses for their top ceo's(all without having to answer to ANYONE), and now he wants to put our health in the governments hands.
Why? So he can steal our social security as well?
These poor senior citizens have almost NO healthcare as it is, since all the new medicare reform.
Some days , it just doesnt pay to even get out of bed
EveryDay Adventure: i had a great run today and my husband even went along for it as well!He had to run/ walk it but he did make it the whole way.I guess that means even if he doesnt train like i do, he will still be able to use mind over matter and run the whole 5k with me in october.
That 's good, i guess. The problem is i'm a bit jealous that he can do that.Although i know he wont ever be able to faithfully every week, and i realize that , at some point, i will surpass him because i am disciplined enough to train faithfully- i have to admit that if i had tried to run 3 1/2 miles without training at all i would not have been able to.So i guess i'll just enjoy the competition as i go.
Last night i watched a terrific movie-"The Soloist"-about a homeless musical savant who had attended Juliard and was looking like a promising star until in about his early 20's started to develop mental illness.It was well written and Jamie Foxx played the character with skill and well-placed sensitivity.I recommend it. I also watched a version of Shakespeare"s "Much Ado about Nothing" which starred Keauna Reeves, Micheal Keaton, Emma Thompson, aand Denzel Washington from 1993. Interesting how far they"ve all come since then.(As an aside, i am going to start reviewing a movie or two each week since i watch so many. I'll most likely put the preamble in highlights so if you're trying to avoid a plot spoiler you could just skip it. )
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
I got to spend some time exploring another farmers market locally with my husband and was able to get some produce. Also went to the library to get some books about insomnia.
Sorry such a short post, but i truly have nothing much else to report.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
The downside of getting up so late seems to be all the rushing i have to do to catch up.
But the upside of sleeping longer on any given day greatly outweighs(for me) any of that.So i'll take it anyway i can get it! It was so hot & humid here today, it was probably best that i was inside anyway. I even went to the gym instead of an outside run. Still ninety degrees at 8pm!
Tomorrow- off to Rootz flea market for some fresh produce.I cant wait! This is something a friend & i have done together for a few years now.We always get a fresh made sub,coffee, browse for good fruit/veggie prices , & sometimes get some keystone candles.
We always have a good time. I just hope its not so hot.
I'm still working on a new format for my blog. I have a few ideas including:
1. Motivational Mondays
3. Picking on Politics
4. a Weekly Wednesday update on my personal schedule(so friends & loved ones can keep up to date on what i'm up to)
5.More pictures and a few videos.
I have also considered a new project. "Butts of America" - where i go around taking pics of public rumps & posting them here on occasion. Sometimes a picture speaks a thousand words. I'm sure all i would have to do is hang out for an hour at the local Walmart . I could get a months worth of fat fodder .
Still working on all this. Will keep ya posted!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Speaking of, a good friend of mine & i are once again contemplating a camping trip, which will include a private whitewater kayaking lesson for sometime in October.Also discussed was doing a nice long bike trek on the path we previously rode. This time we will be able to track our actual distance with my new speedometer. Nothings definite yet, but sounds like a great time!
I posed a quesion to this friend tonight .
After age 40, do we ever again feel like we used to?
I mean, i vividly recall the days of my twenties & even thirties when i jumped out of bed, energetic full of the ability to accomplish at least 10 times as much as i do now.Now, i drag myself to the bathroom, then trudge downstairs for 2 or 3 coffees with aches & pains until i finally get it together an hour or so later! This, despite changing to a healthier diet, quitting smoking, being more dedicated to fitness than ever, and striving intensely to keep a balance between body, mind and spirit. My freind says that i won't feel normal unless i stop working the night shift. He also says that i've gotten "stranger "in my old age.hmmph! Whatever!
The thing is, even if this were true(the nightshift thing), that ONE factor cannot cancel out all the good changes i've made to my life .So i cannot agree that i would actually feel young again by working dayshift.Perhaps the answer lies more in the fact that since i am fighting the bodies natural pattern of sleep, i get less quality sleep than i need.
In fact , there's sooo much out there on the health effects of sleep deficits.Another blogger recently had a great post about his own remedy for insomnia which included a head massage prior to bed by his wife. Nice, if you can get it!
I personally have darkened the room, kept the cats out, dont drink caffiene for 8 hours prior to bedtime, removed the tv from the bedroom, have a consistant bedtime "ritual",and have recently resorted to prescription sleeping pills as a last desperate measure.I dont exercise in the 12 hours prior to bedtime, but like i said, i exercise and eat right- all these things.
Sometimes i just wanna groan in deep remorse for all the time & effort i put into a healthful lifestyle.
Especially when i watch people who always seems to be full of energy polish of a few donuts , sitting in front of a tv .
Am i missing something?????
Thursday, August 6, 2009
The gravel surface made it a bit challenging, but all the better to strengthen my balance and stability. Allow me to pontificate just a bit here.
This was definitely the start of re-introducing the Everyday Adventure to my posts.
Tonight I careened along these shady lanes and road almost hand in hand with the flora & fauna surrounding me . I watched in awe as a train blew past me larger than life only a few feet away. I rode leisurely at times sighing at the lovely -hued sun setting on the horizon before me. A few wild kittens came out of the bush on my path , as well as a scurrying groundhog, a fox and some deer. I saw through the thickets an old train , abandoned and rusted out ,running parallel to the one i was on.I crossed several bridges lofty above babbling brooks and water falls and rode beneath a covered bridge .I listened to a bird and cricket orchestra.The honeysuckle and clover wafted intoxicatingly through the air, creating an ambiance fit for film.
Lovely. Just Lovely.
How many people can say they spent a good hour & a half today enjoying solitary moments shared with nature, while at the same time exercising our bodies and breathing fresh clean air?
How many times do we get to say we not only tried something new and exhilerating while increasing our knowledge of our local area?
How many days a week can we applaud ourselves for not being afraid to meet our goals of health and fitness by stepping out of that comfort zone ?
Food for thought, my friends,food for thought.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
"Why do people blog?"
"In terms of why people blog, well, my belief is that it's to have a voice, however small. To think that just like the people who write those fancy opinion columns for The New York Times and the Wall Street Journal, you too can share your thoughts, vent, and complain to the public at large. Having said that, there are lots of really smart bloggers who have interesting perspectives on the news, politics, sports, business, etc., people who wouldn't otherwise be heard in mainstream media."- Dave Taylor-The Business Blog at Intuitive.com
"blogging helps you feel more connected and increases your own sense of well-being. It can also allow you to express things in a public way yet that helps get things off your chest without having to do it directly."-Smartpeopleiknow.wordpress.com
"some do it for sharing opinions, for the love of writing, for money and then there are souls who blog just because everyone around them is blogging."And when you build a good reader base who check your site every morning (or several times a day), it becomes your moral responsibility not to disappoint them. They are visiting your blog site with an expectation of finding new content but when there's none, some level of disappointment will be there. "-Digital Inspiration
"I really enjoyed was watching someone new to blogging develop and emerge. Seeing their voice emerge. Like a burlesque. Peeling away the layers of clothing, the self-consciouness rising and dissolving, the tentativeness, the self-loathing, the self-pity and then BOOM - there she is! The naked Blog writer. Preferably a she"-From The Sandhilltrek blog -writer quoted Brian Moffat
Other reasons were:
- To be heard
- to keep a diary (!)
- To connect with others
- Socializing, chatting
The list was actually quite a menagerie .In fact , when it came down to it, i started to examine my own reasons as a basis for where i want to go with my own blog.I've tried to answer this question in at least two other posts.
The answer for me is there is no answer. Some days i just want to avoid sending a bunch of individual emails out to friends & family answering questions about what i've been up to.Otherdays it's because i think i have something valuable to say that may just help someone. Still other days it's because i need to vent, or i need to have a touchpoint to refer to when i look at self- analyis, or i have an interesting story to tell. Most of all i blog to give my heartfelt oppinion-like it or not.
And my intentions have , and will continue to evolve. No matter how many readers i do or dont have , or how my life changes. And, like some, there may just come a day when i i call it quits.
But not today.
Monday, August 3, 2009
There was a point when i explained to the world(the small world who actually reads my blog) that i would be going through a growth spurt and would no longer be posting as an attempt to win readers or in a commercial /public interest sort of way.
I've been upholding that and hopefully, in a world where so many blogs are geared toward readership, i keep the unique position of remaining personal and true to self. I like to "keep it real" as they say.
Still, there are moments when i feel the need to share something that i hope will enlighten someone, somewhere out there on the planet.
And i that vein , i am considering a revamp of style once again. Killing two birds with one stone, it may just even help with with my own personal growth.
So, tonight , in an effort to begin the process, i'll be once again exploring some new blogs and visiting some old favorites.
After all, the life just cant be worth writing about unless we expand our horizons.
The one thing i regret is the menu from that night, which could only be described as "Meat Fest".
And , oh yeah, a paltry side of salsa.(boy , did i pay for that one all night long. )
It's weird, but sometimes when you spend as much time as i do on healthy living, you get into culture shock when you go "out there".
It's unbelievable to me what people shove into their bodies, day in /day out.
I mean , it tasted good- shrimp, beef kabobs, turkey on the grill. But my bowels were howlin!
On a daily basis , i usually get produce a'plenty. I eat mostly raw veggies & fruits, protein shakes, energy bars.
And I like to prepare all my food fresh(at home). I dont really care for eating out . Part of that is the paranoia -of not knowing how the food is prepared (sneaky fat added) or if the preparer washes their hands(Note the upsurge in e. coli in the news).
The other part is due to feeling like total crap after eating it whenever i do. Sorta like someone added lead pants to my lower anatomy.
Now, dont get me wrong. I love my sweets. Put a birthday cake, or some cookies, or m& m's in front of me & i NEED to have some.
But "some" means a limited amount.
Additionally, the sedentary lifestyles that people lead astound me. There are some that even brag about it!
" i just like to lay around & drink beer-hehe(belch)"
I can tell you, more often than not, i am the definite oddball at most gatherings.
Sometimes i even walk away in a daze thinking"What is wrong with me? how did i get this neurotic about exercise & nutrition? people must think i'm a complete nerd!"
But then i get home,
peel off my clothes ,
and know that i can look in the mirror , and not be too awful disappointed with those muscles.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
I am truly sore. But...i feel great that i actually conquered the one big hill i was having a hard time with, and a few others like it even!
Even though i am paying for it now.
The new running shoes i got last week are doing great. They're reebok verona kfs II's and after i got'em i saw they were rated pretty high in RunnerWorld Magazine. This week i also got a speedometer for the bike so i can ride a route first to track the distance for my run. Kills two birds with one stone.
I got some decent sleep today, about 6 hours. But for some reason i dont feel all that energized tonight despite the sleep/run combo. Maybe it's because i didnt eat veggies for dinner, just a bean burger. then had a Clif Bar when i got home. Thats ok tho, i had another eggplant/spring mix wrap tonight(yum!) still have a salad, an orange and some strawberries to eat.Also, perhaps i didnt drink enough water the past day or two.
I'll keep trying.
And wondering if i'll ever get the right combination.
Now- off to Mymaprun.com....