Friday, July 31, 2009

Stupidity at its Finest(my own of course)

Another day of jilted plans. I just want to emphasize to everyone out there that , obviously(for me at least) being a nurse doesnt mean you dont screw up your own medication schedule!
After forgetting to take my prescriptions for the sinus infection on time last night, i re-adjusted taking the 3p & 10p doses to 10p & 5a. This wouldve been fine (since i am awake at both times) but when i got home & went to bed at 8a, i forgot i took them at 5a. I proceeded to go ahead & take my other meds (on the regular schedule) and low & behold, i spent the next 2 hours with a throbbing headache, pounding heart, diarrhea, and shaking /shivering uncontrollably. I literally thought i was either going to have a heart attack or pass out & not wake up.
Lesson learned.Gonna start using that stupid pill box sorter again i guess.
Actually, i just went ahead & decided to do another thing i'm not supposed to do. i just stopped taking the sinus prescription stuff even though i had another 4 days to go. i just cannot even think about going through that again!
My original plans were to get a great days sleep , tan , schlepp outside for a run or head to the gym and then, feeling awesome, head into work. The fantasy that was.
Instead i got to sleep at 10a, woke at 3;30 p(unable to go back to sleep) spent the next several hours trying to get my head on straight( soooo dizzy & sleepy) then picked up my son , laid down to sleep unsuccessfully for 2 hours & off to work an 9 hour shift. NOT the fantasy.
The moral of the story?
Heck, there are so many here i wont even begin.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Modern Inconveniences

Sometimes i just make life so darned inconvenient for myself.
In my quest to stay entertained & organized, efficient and sane, i am starting to believe that there's been some irony here.
Let me explain.
All my adult life i have sought to get in as much as possible into each day, each hour, and, yes, even each minute (when the mood struck).This has meant increasing my awareness of ways to multitask more & more effectively. In my mind, i knew this was how it had to be...or i thought so.
Now, at some point this "game" i've been playing with my self for years on end has done a 360 on me.
Somehow, keeping myself organized has become an additional task in itself- necessitating lists,a central family posting board,time spent returning things to assigned places,and a few calendars(as well as an appointment book, a cell phone directory, a rolodex, a filing cabinet, a filing box for business cards....whew!)
Just thinking about organizing my organization makes my head spin.
This week , i must be on a roll with "reflections" . By this i mean i've been asking myself often "Is this what i really want to do with my time & energy for the next 10, 20 or more years? If not, what DO i want to be doing?"I actually havent come up with the answer to that second part. But i have begun diligently thinking about the first part.
The other night for instance the mental topic was "i do believe i am too scheduled. how can i fix that?"This was what prompted the recent posting on restoration.
Tonight , as i trudged into work in the rain , carrying my 3 bags and a fold up bag chair (don't ask) i went over & over how i could have gone through so many ways to carry my needed items from day to day. I wont even go into that here. Suffice it to say there's been money spent, and too many times changing items from one bag to another, as well as adding & deleting bags constantly. I just cant seem to get a handle on this.Nothing is consistently effective from one night to the next, or one case to the next.
Secondly, tonight as i went to hook up my laptop, i lamented about having to pull it out of it's (gulp) "bag", get out the wireless card , hook up the plug to the wall & back of the computer and then insert and additional item- earplugs- into another port.Yes, all of these items are necessary. What a huge time consumer. Why cant they just put all this crap into the side of the laptop? A pull out cord, earplugs and maybe some kind of code from verizon to access secure internet instead of this stupid inserted device?
Yeah, i could stop bringing my computer. But try sitting in a small room for 8 hours, usually on an uncomfortable chair, with very little light and very minimal noise (to keep the kid asleep).I NEED to watch movies, play on the net, and sometimes read.I know some people would are wondering what am i complaining about- sounds like an easy job. And , it kind of is.But the boredom can kill you, discomfort can make you bitter & disgruntled.And worst of all, you can get fired if you fall asleep.So here i am....
Still working on my self-imposed inconveniences.
And still wondering how it all got so complicated along the way.....sigh.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Restoration

Spending time with a mental attitude of flexibility tonight has been a crowning touch on this weeks theme of peace & restoration in my life. After hiking Sunday & a great motorbike ride, then getting back to running Monday(with an attitude geared toward achievement) todays Yoga and spiritual discussion with a friend turned into another level gained in my peace walk.
Totally unexpectedly.
I had planned on arriving at 5p, leaving around 6:30 p, maybe catching my hubbs softball game , then going home to wrap up the details of things before work.
Yeah , that was the plan.
But somehow the universe shifted in my favor.
I spent a leisurely time enjoying the beauty of her eclectic home and property. Visiting with her horses(full size & miniature) , her miniature donkey, and dozens of lanky farm cats i felt right at home to my very core.We eventually ,made our way to a screened in gazebo, tucked away behind some outbuildings and stables for a quick yoga session, and then began discussing our spiritual views . The conversation ebbed & flowed so easily and i found myself there til 8pm!!
When i got home i tried to proceed with my plans , but i heard my dog whining & sauntered down to see what was up (feeling sorry for her) and got sucked in by that sad, yet friendly face & wagging tale begging for a walk.I left immediately with her in tow and stopped along the way twice to converse with some neighbors.
I felt so at ease, at peace, and calm at the end of the evening . I said to myself" Now, i really DID have time to get it all done. I just didnt think i did." And i didnt even allow myself to stress about it at all.
Sometimes the peace of God does pass all knowledge.And He opens up the universe to let us in for a glimpse.
Maybe i will be able to enjoy my summer after all.....

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

RainTales & a shout out to my Mamma!

Went for a nice hike today. hubbs & i finally found some good ones on our motorcycle ride yesterday.White Rocks park near dillsburg, pa. seems to offer a great variety of options . you can also connect to the appalachian trail at 1.3 miles out.So we walked around a bit there- lotsa bugs. I was hoping it would be a good trail run also, but at about 0.5 miles in it started a steep incline. When i do decide to trail run, i need a flatter one initially.
After that, we came home & i went for a run, 3.4 miles plus a 0.7 mile up hill hike on the way back. It statred to pour and i became very irritable that my husband, who opted for a bike ride , wouldnt answer the phone to come get me. so i trudged on. It took me an HOUR to get home . i could barely see with the rain in my face.
But i learned a few valuable lessons:
1. I can only rely on myself(of course)
2. start wearing a baseball cap just in case.
3. bring a ziplock in my zipper pouch to protect my phone & ipod from getting soaked

I guess i could check weather immediately before i leave also, but that seems a hassle & they are only right about 50% of the time.

on another note, i wanted to mention that i have become more aware of my gratefulness to my mother these past few days. This has come to mind as i have been outdoors more- walking, running, biking & hiking.
When i was young and as i grew, my mother took us along with her on her excursions to various wooded areas, creeks , and boulder sites, as well as camping, and some minor hiking ventures. Now as i do some of these same things i really notice how many plants i am able to identify that i wouldnt have known otherwise. I also have become grateful that, even though my mom isnt really leading an "active" lifestyle, that some of the background she gave me has lead to my living one and appreciating the outdoors , unlike so many of todays adults & children!I may never have known the joy of bathing in an ice cold stream, or sleeping in a lean-to, or roasting corn over a campfire if not for her. Thanks mom!
Gotta go!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Getting well

Well, finally friday, i hit the wall....what i thought was horrible allergies for two weeks was actually a brewing sinus infection. i suffered allllll night thurs, couldnt wait to sleep only to be awakend twice- 9:30 & 11 am not being able to breathe at all thru my nose, my face hurt, head hurt- everything. i caved and went to the dr.'s at 1:30.
I am SOOOO glad i did. my infection was so severe that it was draining into my ears, my lymph glands were swollen and i had actual complete closure in my nostrils with scabbing!!!inside!my frontal sinus cavities were so full and inflammed they couldnt drain themselves properly(down my throat) so it went elsewhere to fester.
Anyhoo, doc put me on 10 day coarse of prednisone and an antibiotic with a follow up at a specialist.
i started the medicine friday afternoon and by about 6pm, i could breathe somewhat thru one nostril and could finally get some sleep. i called off work and slept 12 hours, then another nap sat day, then off sat night & slept recouperatively.

upside is that today i feel 100% better!!! i went to church, then ran a 5k in 32:10, did an arm workout after, then hubbs & i took a motorcycle ride through the mountains in God's beautiful kingdom!went home, weeded, transplanted,caught up on misc. housework and reading, then off to work. back hurts a whole lot but i am just sooooo relieved to be able to breathe well. To think if i'd put it off anylonger! doc said it would've spread and i could've become septic.Thanks everyone for your prayers- God listened & sent me to the doctors!

hallelujah!!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Only one more patch of Elephant Skin!

This is my goal elephant. I have had this piece of paper for 3 1/2 years filling in the areas as i completed them. I am finally down to just one more area-applying for my first job as an RN.
I started to use this method of goal accomplishment when i once came across the joke "whats the best way to eat an elephant?" with the answer being "one bite at a time". It hit me that all goals are really accomplished this way and the paper elephant was born.
In between goals on this paper i made a few other fill in animals for each area with really quick tasks. I used a unicorn for example for one test separating areas for each chapter section read and then a final one for test taken.
The Elephant method has served me well. I have passed this on to a few others over the years but i am pretty sure you have to be a unique and highly motivated person for it to work.
My husband for example now has one. But he has the areas filled in with objects he wants to purchase. To me, this defeats the purpose, since "goal" is usually the end product of actual tasks, and i could even go so far as to say it is a verb as opposed to a noun.
I gave a copy to another friend who wrote down a few goals that were task related , but as i explained to him, the goals he wrote were not long term and so a flow sheet usually works better for that.
I have used other methods of goal achievement along the way and in the past. I "live by the list" as they say on a daily basis. I have also made flow charts on occasion, and even used a simple calendar with start & end dates for things.Additionally , i have kept track of stuff in my head, in log books, and on post it notes.But , by far, i feel most confident of the elephant method.I have found that when using it properly it will not fail to produce favorable results.
Start like this:
1. think of your end goal.this should be something at least 1-5 years down the road.
2.draw the elephant, making sure you draw one with lots of open area for divisions.
3. start to list goals in areas that will take at least a few months each to accomplish (for the most part)
4.as each smaller goal is completed -HIGHLIGHT IT!
5. When all the boxes are colored in, you have "eaten" your elephant! Celebrate!

I dont recommend it for generalized goals like "personal fitness" or "speak fluent French" . turn those type of goals into "compete in a half-marathon", or " trip to france".Then before writing the smaller goals that will lead up to the end result, list them on a paper & eliminate ones that will take less than a month or two. This will force you to stay focused. Those less time consuming goals belong on a list.
An example for half-marathon: run 5 miles without stopping on flat surface, run 3 miles with hills without stopping, increase speed from 5.5 to 6.2, (then) run 5 miles with hills, run 7 or 10 miles without stopping, etc.You should be able to do each thing consistently in this case so you can prepare your body for marathon completetion.
With language learning (or any educational goal):My overall goal was" achieve my associates degree in nursing".you could divide the areas into final tests, semesters , clinical or lab completion, and add stuff(like i did) such as "apply for first job as..."or apply for internship"or " "spend a weekend with non english speaking person only".
Anyway, just thought i'd pass some good advice along.Of course my new goal will be to compete in a marathon (someday) maybe that Boston one....or perhaps an Iron Man. But i'm starting with the 5k...New Elephant time!

Monday, July 20, 2009

The Only Lonely

A few words in brief before i launch into my speil....
1. i am sick & tired of allergy symptoms. what i thought had come & gone and had been for about 3 days is back to night. Its really embarrassing to have a nose full of snot and be constantly sniffing, blowing & snorting at work. it really comes off to the parents as sickness and you can just feel them questioning whether you ought be taking care of their child or not.Cursed nose.
2. i still have not received my paperwork packet from the state board with my official results, which will enable me to FINALLY sign my name with an "RN" behind it. Blasted state paperwork.
3.I have been up since 8:30 am, went to church, visited my grandfather with my mom, and did the grocery shopping.I still cannot fall asleep when i try to take a nap this evening. i go for a 45 minute walk with my son. then i still cant fall asleep.Darned insomnia.
ok, so let's get this party started.
What i am really depressed about tonight ( and i dont use that word lightly) is being lonely.I really do try. What set me off this time is texting two different "friends" twice these past few days- people i should, by all rights,still be pissed at but decided to forgive- and havent heard a word back. Both have recently claimed to want to rekindle our friendship, claimed to value it.They have a funny way of showing it. Additionally, two other friends have yet to return a message i sent them via Facebook a few days ago.
Worse yet, since my daughter left for her cruise friday, my son went to the shore with his girlfreind, and my husband worked doubles all week i felt even more cursed when i awoke to find he didnt even come to bed last night and decided to work another double today instead of helping me grocery shop and go to dinner like we planned.i must either have one shitty personality or i am one uninteresting doormat.
I mean, people still talk to me, say hi, and chat when i see them.And i am a very busy person.
But, i am always alone.I really dont mind it most of the time, but its starting to get to a point where it's really noticeable.And people are noticing it about me. A woman from church saw me at the grocery store today. When i told her i was a lonely person during our conversation, she says she noticed that about me and is what drew her to me.so, great- not only do i feel lonely, i look lonely too.Awesome. Just what i needed.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Get Fresh with me!

FunFactor:Whenever i get out for a late run or go to the gym on the treadmill or go for a bike ride lately, i wind up sweating like a man(and smelling like one, too) that necessitates another rinse in the tub right before work. It's an awesome feeling to slip into a a few inches of hot water , soak for a few minutes, rinse & recondition my hair, lather up and scrub my face.
I have found that since i've been doing cardio that's been a great side benefit i hadnt counted on.I get all those endorphins revved up in my body and then get to re- refresh myself right before work- giving me a wonderful boost and burst of energy that lasts at least half the night. It's like a new feeling of "aliveness"!!
The bad part about the cardio is that i am ravenous when i get home & tend to grab the quickest thing i can find. Lately, it's been M&M's(leftover from my luau).
Never-the-less, i am enjoying this exhilerating change in my schedule & energy level for as long as it lasts.I do believe the secret to keeping it going is to change it up every few weeks.
Tonight, i used the "random" button on the treadmill. It just about killed me , but i ran 29:01 minutes.Lots of hills. Then i did my weightlifting leg work out. Now , since i do my cardio beforehand, i dont have to superset to get my heartrate up. i am able to do just one exercise at a time, taking proper rest in between, enabling me to do gradual increases in weight. Also, since i'm not burning out on my 4 sets of 10-12 reps, i can experiment with variations on standard stuff like the leg press.
At any rate, it's been a blast.
I do , however , have to figure out a better after workout snack. Been doing blueberry protein shakes most of the week pre-workout, and i eat nuts a few times a week at work, so they are not options.i eat fruit EVERY night, along with raw veggies. so i'm kinda stuck. Any suggestions?

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Brain Cancer is Bad

Tonight i am here with a little 7 year old with stage 4 metastatic brain cancer.It is very sad. A perfectly normal child until age 6. I cannot begin to imagine the pain & anguish a parent must go through when these things happen. I know i would at the very least feel like my life was over.It is beyond sad, beyond overwhelming, beyond normal grief.
It puts ones whole life in perspective in an instant.
I wish i could tell you more of the circumstances here because the total picture makes it even worse. But confidentiality prevents me from going into detail.
On another note, i had a pretty good evening. I went to Bunco with some neighborhood ladies and we , as usual, didnt have enough people to play, so we just sat & chatted (a metaphor for gossip).It always kinda sucks when i gotta go to work after because i have to leave early. But this is life.

A lot of people are still asking me what i plan on doing now that i am an RN. I really don't have any new plans. I've narrowed down 3 hospitals to which i plan on applying, unless i see something exciting in the paper(unlikely) or hear of a great opportunity.I have also considered talking with a few neighborhood nurses for references.But none of this will occur until i get my official paperwork and until after september(vacation).
My main focus now will be changing to preparing for a baby shower, an engagement dinner, vacation, and a 5k run.I also have both of my kids birthdays, and a favorite clients birthday coming up.
Still trying to figure out my garden stuff. Even went to the library yesterday & got some books. But i still will need advice and need my mom to come help me.She knows about this stuff. I am such a novice.
OK, signing off....

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Get out of the Boat & walk on that water!

Now that i have accomplished my goal and passed my exam, i am an RN!
Sadly,
I've started to notice lately that there are many people out there that just seem to stay in one place in life. There are so many excuses.I do believe i've heard them all.Here is just a smattering of them:

1."I'm just too old "
2."I'm not really sure why I keep putting it(changing things for the better)off"
3."I have alot of pain"
4."well, i've just got too much time invested in ...(the way i already am)"
5." someday i will have the time to....(do something to help myself)"
6. "My life is just too busy to ....(see above in paratheses)"
7."My life will never change, it's pretty much the way it will always be"(gasp!)

Of course , the words in paratheses are my words, added in to silently fill in the blanks for these unmotivated souls.I do believe what it comes down to is one of two things- Fear or laziness.
yup.
there, i said it.
and i'm not taking it back.
Now, there is warranted fear , as well as unwarranted.Fear of someone holding a gun to your head is obviously justified.Someone offering you an opportunity outside of your comfort zone is not.
From what i can see , a whole big percentage of americans are just plain lazy as well.
Inner dialogue:
"It would just be too much work"
"i really dont feel like it"
"it's just easier to keep going just like i am, since i'm already an expert at that"
It is the reason people dont lose weight, why they dont go back to school, why they spend half the day in front of tv, and why their spouses, children and friends are usually doing the same.Do they even realize how they affect others around them?why our children are obese and waiting for the privileges that they feel are just "owed" to them?And since these kids eventually get jobs,is it any wonder there's no customer service anymore?
As a physically active, continually educated , and motivated person i find it appalling that there are so many in the same jobs, living in the same place, eating the same foods, and looking at the same 4 walls that they have for 10 plus years.
Sometimes i just want to scream-"At least change the color scheme!!"
Of course i recognize there are exceptions- terminal illness, living in a third world country, catching schrapnel in your face by accident.
But really, does the lack of learning have to end for the majority of the world?Is it acceptable that we sit on our butts blaming circumstance or other people for the state our lives are in? Get some courage , people. Have a little faith. And if you are a Christian- walk on that water!
Now do i have to push you in???

Monday, July 13, 2009

Feelin' the Love!

God has done it again!



Lovenia Price, RN (got unofficial results today!)

My Changing Lifestyle

As of tonight it has been one full week of insane allergy problems. No matter what i do, or don't do my head is ready to burst. I don't have a fever, or a cough- so probably not an infection. But it sure is miserable.
I spent my evening re-potting my container veggies.Hopefully i will have better luck with them now. I was able to lounge in my deck chair & eat cherry tomatoes right off the vine yesterday though. They were quite sweet & delicious.I am thinking- GREENHOUSE.Maybe some year, anyway.
I sat on my front porch tonight in the dark before work (trying to breathe) and looking up at the night sky. Again i wondered how it is that my life is so different at this year compared to last year. I dont seem to have the time to walk the dog at night enjoying the stars and cool breezes anymore.Last year by this time i had been to the beach for two weeks and was getting ready to leave for ohio-which i kinda hope doesnt get offered to me this year-and after that i went camping and then back to the shore in november.i was really into yoga as well, which has gone completely to the wayside.
This year, i did go to vermont, but my next vacation isnt til september.And i am now into this running thing.
(Friday i went to the gym in the early afternoon. I ran 2 miles on the treadmill, lifted a bit , then later went for a 10 mile or so bike ride. i wound up on a really cool little gravel road where wildlife was abundant. The bad part was that the way there was all down hill. so naturally the way back ......Long story short, i probably wont be taking that route again since i had to push the bike up hill a few times. I am definitely not in that kind of biking shape.But, i digress.)
This year i have been into the gardening thing and planning these little parties and have had a lot of school stress.
It just amazes me how quickly life changes. I really miss those night skys, and even more so, i am starting to miss my old house with the bigger yard, away from so many neighbors.Sometimes i think i got more out of life there.
I remember vividly when i first moved there from the city. It was a whole new world!!
I guess the bottom line here is that life just keeps changing, and some stuff is here only for a season.The trick is to navigate with care, and remember to plant memories along with your many gardens!
Blessings!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Short & Sweet

Took that blasted test today & i just KNOW i failed it. So here's what i got for ya'll.....http://www.barefooters.org/

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Only 2 more days

And i am still not happy with my progress. I now have 3 darned books on taking this NCLEX_RN and i am not doing so hot on the practice tests. I have come to surmise that i just dont get what answer they want when it comes to delegation & planning, and they are just plain confusing as to the explanation of the answer. One time it says always choose "assess" first, the 2 questions later they say assess comes second.The whole drop & drag thing throws me off too.
Like it will say to prepare something then check equipment safety, but another question will be the the opposite.
I dont mind the math questions, got them down. And i am getting a little better with meds(not great, by any standards) . I guess whatever will be , will be.
I ran my second outdoor run yesterday- went a different route trying to find the best one. It turned out to be about 2 miles(i checked it this morning in my car). Ok, gotta run- i had to turn this kid, and of course now he will be awake the rest of the night. Glad i took off tomorrow - i'll not get much studying done tonight again, as usual for this case.
Sionara!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Zoom, Zoom!

I know..it's been a few days since i posted. So , just an update.
I spent saturday the 4th at a nice little cook out with some friends and consumed not only a large slice of cheesecake, but an entire bottle of wine by myself. I really felt that the next day.
Sunday i got groceries and went for an awesome motorcycle ride. It was the first time i went 120 mph in over a decade!the last ride we barely hit 100!spent about an hour at pinchot park where i hadnt been for about 1oo years and that was nice too.
Everyday Adventure:And then today(drumroll , please!) ...i went for my first outdoor run.I went approx. 2 miles or so including hills! and on pavement!But i have to admit, i had to walk part of the 2 steeper hills. still including that, i went a total of 2.8 miles.
On the downside, i have had terrible allergies for the past two days and it (along with poor sleep) have really been hindering my study activities. My head wants to explode, my nose is dry , runny, and irritated and my eyes feel like they're gonna pop out any second.i've taken claritin, flonase, and astelyn nose spray along with coating my nostrils with petroleum jelly & i swear, i'm still miserable.
If this keeps up past weds, i'm cancelling my test and going to the doctors(in case it's a sinus infection).
I'm still studying, but i am not retaining as much as i could if i had slept and felt better.I dont wannn lose $300 by failing over it.
At any rate, i am still having daily Funfactors by locating different 5k runs in the area and measuring distances of places i can potentially run outdoors. I also noted today that it doesnt really cool off til after 7:30, not 7, so i'll have to adjust my schedule.
I'm still not doing very well on my practice tests, but i got a 72% today which is up from the 68%.
This weds . i will be having lunch with my daughter to discuss upcoming wedding plans. And then, saturday, i am having dinner with an old high school friend that i havent seen in 20 years!!I am so excited- she & I had the most fun i've ever had in my life with anyone while i was growing up. I'm so glad i joined Facebook at times.
Asta la vista!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Sleepless Burning

Another day with very little sleep. Add to that alot of reflux(more than my usual) and here i sit at work.Eyes feel like they wanna fall out & my esophagus crying out for relief.I am uable to fathom why i can only seem to sleep 4 or 5 hours most of the time. If i could sleep for 7-9 hours a day, i'd definitely be a better person.
I think it is a sign from above that i need to :
1. give up coffee
2.exercise outside more(fresh air)
3.drink more water

At the moment, i only have 8 more days left til the test and i'm not retaining much study info. at night when i'm this foggy. So i anticipate i'll increase my sleeping pill dosage a bit for the short term.

Met 2 goals today - i actually found a few great sites listing 5k runs /races in the area . I'll be exploring those areas for practice runs as well. The other thing i accomplished was drinking 3 whole bottles of water today. This is HUGE for me since it's usually a struggle to get one bottle in. But i've been persistant.If i can get at least 3 i'll be happy!
Shalom!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

A Few Lessons

After re-reading a few old posts i notice that i have forgotten about FunFactors & Everyday Adventures for quite some time now. This is quite a reflection on my life in general, i guess.
When i started this blog , i had plenty of ideals that i wanted to express, different changes i wanted to make , and goals i wanted to accomplish. Then the countdown to my clinicals happened, followed by the recent studying for my NCLEX-RN.
The other day , i glanced outside my window (instead of looking up from outdoors)at the moon & stars and started wondering why i havent had the time to enjoy the night sky like last year, when my entire reason for starting the blog was to simplify, grow, appreciate more, slow down, and have more because of less.
Some of the reasons i came up with (in addition to the clinicals and test) had to do with my daughter moving in and the difficulties my son has been giving me in his senior year of high school.
Now that my daughter has moved out, and my son has graduated and will be moving out in the fall, i anticipate that i can begin anew with my pursuit of happiness.
Starting with my vacation, at the very least.
But first, a few lessons i've learned so far.
1. "You teach people how to treat you"- In other words, if you keep bailing someone out,or letting someone disrespect you, or you wait hand & foot on everyone- this is what you are "training" them to expect. And they will live up to those expectations.
2."Growth spurts are usually followed by a period of stagnation"-i went through one (spiritually) for about 5 months, then all of a sudden i felt like i was in the void. It drove me crazy, and i couldnt pin it to anything. Then, i realized that , over the years, there has always been a pattern . And that for each up , there's a down- yin & yang, etc.It helped, because now i know there will be another growth period in the future, so i neednt be depressed!
3.That some of my ideas won't work out- for instance, i have gone back to wearing watches after i forgot it or lost it several times. i need this item for work, and wearing it daily was the only realistic solution.But that's ok too, because some of my other ideas worked really well.Like giving up the blonde highlights- saved money, time, my hair , and the hassle.
4. That many times what is perceived as rejection is only that- a perception . And usually, after a while, the lightbulb comes on to reveal something about the situation that was overlooked or buried under an emotional reaction. For instance- the Facebook girl i posted about-it dawned on me that it was only her "failure to launch" that kept her from being my friend, and it wasnt really about me per say.And another thing- remenber i fretted over my social networking page not being as "busy" as others? I realized one morning it's because i'm not on it all day , off & on , like those people.Therefore i don't have "all day" conversations.
So there, how's that for growth?
I 've come a long way, baby. So here we go again.
FunFactor: Throwing food into my compost pile or garbage disposal instead of the trash. i dont know why, but just helping the environment like that thrills me.Everyday Adventure:Looking for roads to jog on , driving around clocking the mileage from point A to B, excited about running that 5 k in the fall!!!
And,By the way, this is my second post of the day...i'm on a roll!!!
Namaste!

More Teen Trouble

Well, today was exciting. Found out my son had taken my husbands car without permission to pick up his girlfriend one morning when i was sleeping & hubbs was at work. Then on top of that , he lied about it when confronted. I left the discipline up to my husband on this one, and he got away with a pretty light sentence of 3 weeks without seeing his girlfriend and having to do extra chores when my husband tells him to.
Right now, we have a friend of his staying at our house for a week because his apartment got flooded out & he has no where to go. The kid seems nice, if a bit slow. I certainly hope THIS doesnt become an issue, but it wasnt my decision on either thing. I've decided to go with the biblical reference to allowing the husband to be the head of the household.Less stress on my part.
Dont know why i fought it all these years.
This is yet another way i can simplify my life.And i am finding God's way much better than my own.I do have a friend who , i am sure , will find some way to disagree with some of this because you gotta be "in it" to understand.You gotta have a family, children of your own, and have been married for years to "get it".
Plus, it really helps to have a personal, not just doctrinal, relationship with God.
On another note, i am having sleep difficulties again and cannot figure out how to stabilize my continuous insomnia. I slept til 5:30 yesterday & it was wonderful. Today, i woke at 12:30, and couldnt fall back asleep. It sucks, and i am tired.
I tried getting rid of caffeine before with little difference. i only drink 2 -3 cups when i get up , none after 7pm. I 've tried everything it seems....sigh.