Friday, June 5, 2009

What is Wrong with the World?

I have been dealing alot with rejection again as of late. Let me explain.
This is what started the whole ball rolling.
An old friend, a co-worker, i have known for over 20 years ago will not confirm my friendship on Facebook. Now, if it was just that i might think that she, like a few others, just didnt check her page much or didnt know i tried to contact her. BUT- she has confirmed friendships with 2 other co-workers that we both worked with during a short period of time. (Those two knew her less than 2 years and didnt even hang out with her.) On the other hand,over 20 years, i worked with her, managed a business with her, went out to bars with her, and even had a blind date with her brother once. We worked together at different companies, and even owned similar businesses at the same time. Yet, she is apparantly avoiding me. I have absolutely no idea why.

So, it started me thinking ...

Recently, i bought one of the clients mom's a mothers day gift- it was not even acknowledged. I sent out a birthday card to someone i have known for over 5 years (and whom has been trying to rekindle a friendship with me off & on).No response. I texted her today to see if she actually got the card and she said yes & was sorry she didnt call.I left homemade bread at a neighbors door last week. No thanks.I dropped wine at another friends door. Not even a text message.

And to top it all off, i have sent out 20 invitations to our family graduation party at the end of June and , until i called a few people to see if they got them, the only response i got was 2 rejections from family members. This one really makes me angry. First of all, it was really hard to put myself out there to a side of the family that has really been rude to my mother. And they have absolutely no reason to be rude to me, or my kids.AND, i know that if one or two of them won't come, and the rest won't either. That was monday. I am sure by now the rest have all received their invites, and no rsvp's. One of the cousins, i might add hasnt even called me back with her address. These are the same family members i grew up with. At one time, we were all very close.

Additionally, i had to call & ask several friends if they were coming because i felt so rejected at this point. I don't have that many friends. One said she wasnt sure (i had just attended her daughters birthday party saturday) and the other one initially said he had to work.( But fortunately he decided to change his schedule.) I really feel like no one gives a crap about me at times. Sometimes a person just wants to feel loved, ya know? I want to add here that the two other friends i invited said yes right away, although one hadnt officially rsvp'd.Thank you for them, God. I felt at least a glimmer of hope there.

I am a good friend. At least i try to be. I give gifts, thank-you cards, remember birthdays, have people over, attend their parties,make sure to not miss dates i have with them, and if i dont hear from them for awhile, i call or text, or send a card. I do my best to listen to their problems, and give advice if they ask for it.I am supportive.If we have a disagreement, i try to apologize...sometimes too much.I feel terribly gulity if i upset them. I take people places to celebrate, or just because they are family.
I hear about peoples outings with other friends/family to places or events i havent been invited to. I see my neighbors getting together and chatting , going to each others homes to visit- but no one comes to me.I just dont get it.
I do feel like i try pretty hard. I even host all kinds of stuff- neighborhood parties, buncos, dinners.And what is wrong with people that they cant say thanks, or send a card, or text/email someone back to let them know they got your text/email? it takes 10 seconds !
Maybe i'm just expecting too much,or maybe i'm just too sensitive. But what i really think is that people get so involved in thier own little worlds that they forget to take time out to be courteous.
The only other explanation is that i am a horribly dull, uninteresting person or that i am so highly offensive that no one wants to associate with me very much. And if that's the case- what the hell am i trying for?

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