Thursday, May 7, 2009

When will someone take care of ME????

My Husband is a complete meanie at times. i am sick as a dog & he acts like such a jerk.I really wanna just trade schedules & responsiblities with him just once for a whole week or maybe even a month.Monday ,he gets upset at me because he says i put too much on my plate. Then tonight he gets p*ssed off because now i'm supposed to be his secretary and deliver him his email messages.yeah-"I" put too much stuff on my plate. "& how hard is it to clean the house?" he says. well apparently too hard for him to do it. obviously it's much harder to sleep all day til 7 or 8 pm, roll out of bed , shower, eat a meal prepared by someone else(me) , order $300 baseball bats (he has 3 now), and then just head in to work.In almost 7 years of marriage, he has made dinner for me ONCE....6 years ago.
Never mind that, in spite of being very sick, i still get up, make his dinner & pack his lunch, run errands , make phone calls, take care of the animals, go to the gym and then also go to work fulltime.no one does any of that for me. And i've done all this while getting a college degree and raising a teenage boy for the past several years.
Yes , he took over the bills. that was a great relief- but , wow, that's all he's done. and, gee, didnt i do that for the last 6 years?
I would understand if i didnt work full time.But not only do i take care of everyone in the house,i also take care of kids at work. I have to deal with "people"- families and their sick kids. which means that i cannot go in and be a jerk when i feel like it.Even when i'm sick.He only has to deal with a machine. And where he works it's a bunch of guys that can act as sh*tty as they want towards each other because it's just a low level, unskilled labor job that anyone can do and politeness is not only not required, it simply doesnt matter.
i have to go in , pleasant and sympathetic, armed with knowledge, skill , and experience, and take care of actual human beings.
I know you hear so many women complain about this kind of thing. But then, what are we doing about it?Seems like we're all just floating along on the B*tch Boat, complaining bitterly and nothing ever changes.
The only thing that keeps me going is my devotion to God, and only out of respect for Jesus do i continue in this marriage.I am walking in obedience & "dying to the flesh" as they say. Most of the time, i simply am doing my duty.I certainly don't enjoy it. I will keep praying about it, and in the mean time, i just may not show up at home in the morning.

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