Friday, May 1, 2009

Heaven or Hell?

I now realize i have to come up (once again) with a better plan for organizing my time. Even though i do a pretty good job, i'm starting to see that in order to live in the peace that Jesus died for us to have, i need to eliminate or re-prioritize some things in my life.
I have come to this conclusion based on the fact that i was so worn down from running , running, running this week that ,in my tired & weakened state i accidently backed into a truck parked on the street while trying to get put of my driveway.
Granted, the truck was in a very bad spot(& my blind spot) and SHOULD have pulled into the huge empty driveway of the neighbors house that he was doing work for instead of parking on the street (making it hard to back out without doing a 4 point turn). But still. And even though his truck was the same color as my car making it even harder to see him. Still.
If i had been more alert, and less distracted, and less tired, and less harried- i could have prevented it.
Not that there was really any damage to either vehicle. less to his than mine.He could still probably ask that i replace his bumper if he wanted to. Even though it was an old truck and it is a plastic piece that wasnt cracked or anything, just detached a bit. Anyway, it was my fault really. So, whatever will be , will be.
I am learning lessons that are actually pleasant to learn these days. It finally makes sense to me that God really does want us to "rest" in him. And that doing so is spiritual warfare against the enemy- who wants us to live in condemnation and misery.
The other night(i've been so tired again this week) i put my whole faith in him. Completely. Even though it was hard, and it took effort. When i finally felt it, and relaxed (surrendered) into it- i was amazed at the actual peace .And i really dont care who disagrees with my viewpoint. God is more than we can imagine. He shows me this every single day.
This is not a corny, religious, creepy bible -thumper thing either. Just reality.I can prove it.Just ask me. I'll give testimony.
I have so many friends who've never set foot in a church, have no idea who Jesus is or what it is to have a relationship with God. I have friends who only pray when they are in need ( trying to use God for personal gain).And i have recently talked with a few who say they "love God and Jesus" but "dont think they need to go to church" and really believe that if they have good intentions then that is all that matters.Of course some dont believe in God because they cant see Him.Or they think things are just "coincidence" when they happen.Well, let me tell you- i'd rather believe in God & there be no afterlife that to not believe and spend eternity in hell.
I get where they are coming from. I used to be there. I dwelt in " the valley of the shadow of death".I just wish so much that i could trade all that time i wasted there for what i am learning now.For the complete loveliness i am surrounded with, even when i am alone.I wish i could explain fully the peace and wonder of getting to really understand the word, and pursueing an intimate, personal relationship with God.
You know, i am truly convinced that the enemy has convinced so many people that there's no such thing as hell,that truth is based on individuality, and good intentions equal a good standing with God. Some even believe that being a bible scholar alone has bought their path to heaven.
(Note: study all you want, but unless you apply it to your life, it's just ink on paper, people!)
And with all that, whether you wanna hear it or not, i will leave it at that.I wont apologize, or sugar coat it.
I am re- examining my life.I am commited to being a more excellent person. inside & out. Because of my respect for the one who created me- for a purpose.
And if that offends some people....que sara, sara!

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