Thursday, February 26, 2009
Well, one day out of the blue ,i decided to give her a call . A long discussion ensued and i found out Jean would be in town a lot more these days.
We met more often after this and the investment in our friendship grew to the point where i gave Jean a key to my apartment so she could let herself in whenever she was in town if i was working so she didnt have to pay for a room & stuff. this was working out ok for awhile- she'd stop in once or twice a month when she had a meeting or business to take care of. We'd have a few laughs, go out for happy hour and i could feel my interest in Jean growing. Even though Jean was perpetually broke & in debt, she seemed to laugh at life and take it all in stride.I never even minded picking up her tab. I knew she had been unemployed alot but always talked about getting a new start.
So after about 6 -8 months or so of Jean coming & going ad lib, i started to notice things changing.She started acting suspiciously, coming into town at late hours , disappearing before i got home. And one day i just happened to look in my secret cash box under my bathroom sink. It wasnt empty, and for the life of me i couldnt tell you how much i had ever put in there, i just put whatever i had extra -sometimes $10, sometimes $100.i figured someday i'd wanna go get something so completely extravagant, it would make everything i'd worked for for the last 5 years worthwhile. Hell, i could even put it into a retirement fund if i wanted.
Anyway, the stash didnt seem quite right, but i couldnt be sure. Over the next few months i checked it each week or so and one day decided it was definitely way off.So I counted it all out and was astonished to find that most of the cash under the top layer was ALL ONES! my heart was pounding. i knew i'd put in lots & lots of hundred dollar bills over the years , some 50's, some 20's.But the whole thing totalled out to be only about $450.00. I was beside myself.
I then realized that the only person to have access to my place long enough and often enough to find this box and embezzle MUST have been Jean. I had very few guests over and the ones i did, were never there alone or overnight -except Jean.
So , i didnt see Jean , hear from Jean,nor was i able to contact Jean for about 2 months. Then one day i go to an art festival along the river and who do you suppose i see sailing by in a beautiful BOAT- decked out with every accessory you can imagine?Yup. She was in a bikini , lounging out driving that boat lazily in the summer breeze. No worries, no stress.I couldnt believe it.
The one who'd always had no money, had an insurmountable pile of debt and claimed she'd been broke for years was riding in the lap of luxury. Now what would you think? Doesnt it all add up?
Thousands of my dollars were gone, and welfare woman shows up with a luxury craft . And to top it off , when she saw me on the bridge , she turned her head quick and sped on outta there!!
I noted the name of the boat, just because i was so stunned and when i checked the price online it went used for about 11,000.00.That was within easy range of possibility for my cash box -figure 5 years of stashing.
So people, did you ever play Mad Libbs growing up? I want you to go back into that story(which i made up) and everwhere you see "jean" (or her or she) i want you to insert "the government".When you get to "cash box" insert" 401k." And when you get to the word "boat" insert the word "bail out".
Are we really this blind????
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
I just dont get it. i havent had it before this since i was a kid. I guess it's just going to be a "getting older" thing for me. It does suck.
Anyway, so i go in anyway to work(after checking with the mom that she still wants me to come if i wear a mask) since i dont feel that bad. Then i get here(havent been at this case in a loooong time, maybe 6-7 months) and Mom decides she is going to sleep in bed with the kid.
I'm thinking"you've GOT to be KIDDING me."This is the family i have gone to Ohio with for summer vacation for the past two years.I've done this childs case since she first came home from the hospital 4 years ago. They ought to know me & trust me by now.
Turns out mom(who is getting ever paranoid & strange) says she's "so fearful right now" because 2 other Acradia Syndrome kids have passed away this week.I asked her if she was aware that this was out of her hands & she says"i know but I'm just not ready".
Welcome to Homecare.
This is what we run in to. Paranioa, other parents who blame nursing for things out of their control, parents who(although they may have good intentions) do their kids more harm than good,etc.
Like tonight- before mom got into the kids bed, the kid was actually quiet & falling asleep, but then became very active and fussy because of mom moving her all around the bed , pulling the kid on top of herself, kissing her and stuff. Children need their sleep.This is when they grow. It's a simple concept i wish some parents would get.
FunFactor:I am still perfecting my bread recipe. this new batch i tried making less wet . It seemed to rise better and didnt stick as much, but when trying to bake it today, it became hard and wouldnt bake right in the middle. so i added more sprinkles of water and will wet it tomorrow before baking. i am determined to get it right.I havent started looking for sprout seed yet. Maybe next week or so.I really want to try to grow my own this year. I will also attempt a small "bag" garden this year. Gotta start planning that one. If i dont get to it though, i'll try a few potted vegetables.No use stressing over it. A person cant always get to everything.
It was a very good bible study tonight. We wrapped up the Joyce Meyers Series and next week we start a Beth Moore study on Esther. I hear Miss Moore is deep, and tedious to read. So i am hoping the dvd's will make up for that.
Well, in closing, the Mom finally did decide she had to get some sleep herself and went to bed upstairs.This-- immediately after i decided to let it go, and not be upset. Sometimes the rope we cling to is the one that hangs us, and if we let it go God will catch us.
Good night.And , no, i did not steal that line- it just came to me. Hmmmm....
Sunday, February 22, 2009
So anyway, since i am the one who has to do the grocery shopping every two weeks, i decided to make a FUN event of it. Instead of just trudging right up the road to Giant, i went for a few items at BJ's and then to a megagrocery store -Wegmans. I left the house at 5pm and didnt return til after 8:30. I didnt get it all put away til 9:30. Let me tell ya, that store is overwhelming. They have about a dozen different everythings in a dozen shapes & sizes. The organic section alone took me 2o minutes!
But, proudly, i didnt overspend.And i even went & got a club card afterwards & saved another 30 bucks. Well, my total bill between the two stores was like 387. It's not great. I have work to do on self control . But truly my excuse this time was not being able to find stuff i usually get, the fact that they didnt carry some of the same stuff and at least half of the prices were higher.So at least if i go again , i'll know what i'm in for.
This is what lack of planning gets you. I probably wont go very often for those reasons, plus the fact that it's about 15 minutes fiurther away & in a high traffic area. But , what the hell. It was a great date with myself.
Afterwards i ate a great big greek style turkey burger and watched a movie on my computer in bed. Ahhh, relaxation. This time , i didnt even have a zillion things rolling around in my head to keep me awake afterward so i slept like a baby.
I went to church today with my daughter, her date, and my son. It was a great service. The skit they did was hilarious,too.
Afterwards, we all went back to the house . My FunFactor for the day was watching my daughter(23) and her date trying to make grilled cheese and soup. She actually made him do the grilled cheese!and she nuked the soup as her contribution! oh, these kids...so much to learn!
I've come to a decision , too. In the interest of keeping things lively, i will no longer blog as much about my clinicals. What i'm doing instead is keeping a personal journal so i can keep track of my progress. It just makes sense, since i truly think no one wants to hear me go on with the details of studying. In fact, it even bores me to read about it sometimes.
Well, thats all for now folks. And by the way, my bread making is well underway and getting compliments so "The Adventure" has begun!
Saturday, February 21, 2009
So , in additionto my goal of perfecting the bread, i also ran across an article in the current issue on growing your own sprouts. It sounds easy, and since i love sprouts and buy them every grocery trip-- these two things promise to be FUNFACTORS, and will give me something more for less(more flavor, more self-satisfaction, and spending less $)!wahoo! Bonus!
I spent 4 hours studying tonight. I am including as part of my studies reading online journals of other students who have gone throught he clinicals. Now, if that doesnt make me pee my pants. The more i read the worse i feel!It sounds like a nightmare come true. One of the more popular posters had to go three times. If you fail your third time, you get kicked out of the program. i'm not even sure where one would go from there.
I have a great fear of failing and losing all this time & money.
Let me post my "spreadsheet" plan"...
I wrote up a grid for each day of the week. i do at least two things on my list each night, sometimes more.The things i have listed are:
1.review mnuemonics cards-these are the critical elements
2.review critical elements flashcards(i also have the audio cd)
3.watch online skills videos- these are either cpnex.blogspot.com or on youtube
4.re-read manual chapters
8.practice manual bp's
11.get ?'s answered( like going on discussion boards, emailing questions to school, reasearch)
12.watch the cpne orientation dvd
yes, this is my plan. and until this crisis is over , you can expect non-stop ranting and blogging about it. Thats just part of the package right now.And mostly , this is my checking in point at night. I derail, and take a backseat.
And now i shall move on to other matters! Vermont, for instance...C-ya!
Friday, February 20, 2009
I watched tonights episode via internet and am as hooked as ever. I don't always get it, but i think infinite confusion is part of the fun.
Also , quickly i want to note that my usual phone friend did not answer tonight when i called. So if you are reading this....well, i DID try.
Sorry such a short and uninspiring post, but i got nothin tonight.....Peace out.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
In response to a comment i got to a recent post: yes, almost everything we buy is made in a foreign country. So how does this stimulate americas ecomomy? also , in a round about way.
See, it takes a lot of jobs done by americans to get those things from there to here, and to negotiate prices, and to get them out to the places they need to be , and to work the finances on all that...all so that we can maintain the expected lifestyle to which we are accustomed.If we dont buy those products(which is a pipedream anyway- people will always go to walmart because they get stuff cheaper) then we are sort of stuck paying the price of isolation from the worldwide market.
I'm sure there's some very good economic formulas to explain the theory. but , really, it's just common sense.
I figure the only way we can decide not to give anything back out of these stim checks is to cash them and(instead of my previous suggestion of spreading out the enjoyment) and use the cash to purchase seeds from local farmers /gardeners to start your own garden, orchard or feild. Then tend it & raise the crop yourself for your family's food supply.
Yeah, takes on a whole new picture , doesnt?
See, most americans think like that. "no way i'm gonna get out there and do all that work when i can just buy stuff at the local grocery chain store". We're spoiled. So when ya wonder how this stimulates our ecomony- think about that.
The reason i made the post about spending it out( aside from prolonging my own pleasure) was double-sided. All those people i give that small amount to each week are employed in america. The barista at Starbucks, The cashier at Giants, the Blockbuster employee,even the thrift shop owner. if i can contribute anything to America, i'd like to help people keep their jobs right now. The small jobs---the ones teens , retirees, and educationally challenged can get.
The more businesses i patronize, the more people stay employed.it's my own tiny little contribution to the country i know.
I can't go around telling people how to spend that $. It's not my place. It is my suggestion, it is my own plan. But there are many out there who never get to splurge. And those desparately trying to pay off debt,save for a home or college, or even buy groceries or heat.Being gainfully employed , i am fortunately able to take the check in stride this time,and hope to make a difference- no matter how small.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Since all that was going on, i didnt get to study much, just read a few pages.oh, well.
My son is coming home from his week at his dads tomorrow and i will be so relieved. He was supposed to come home yesterday, but since there was no school , his dad made the "executive decision "to keep him another day. My stress level currently precludes any unnecessary confrontations. But if it happens again, i will not hold my tongue.Anyway, it kinda made me depressed. Here's how i dealt with THAT:
- i took my dog for a short walk in the freezing cold. she hasnt been walked in a while since the Lyme disease diagnosis. i wore knee length sweats and froze my butt off. i was actually thankful she didnt want to walk very far.
- i ate a ton of veggies, then moved on to chocolate, apple pie and animal cookies.
- next i sat down to watch a movie- i rarely do this at home since i watch so many at work.but this way i got to go to blockbuster & get 2 new ones out before i..
- went to the gym.glad i did..this really cute hottie struck up a brief conversation with me which totally boosted my ego.
- when i got home i chatted with my daughter for a change...
Then i took a 30 minute nap before work.Overall the plan worked , even though i didnt really want to go to work, i was over the nagging depression.Usually for me , getting out of the house and indulging in a few things does me wonders.Mostly too, i pushed out negative thoughts, refused to dwell on them and replaced them with positive ones.And so there it is my uplifting day in a nutshell.
Sure wish tonight would've went better..Namaste!
Monday, February 16, 2009
For some dumb reason though i couldnt get this video to play right on my blog. but just know this ---it makes me feel good everytime i watch it!
I want to keep going with my original theme of wanting less. I've been contemplating the directions i want to take it in this new year. Since i just read that the new stimulus package will give us somewhere between $7-13.00 a week this year i thought i might use that as a starting point.
As in, "what could i do with that extra 7-13 a week this year?"
Is this really going to put anything back into our economy?really , who cares?
I am guessing that after the average joe receives his $400 check this year , he will do one of several things:
1. use it to pay a bill or two
2.splurge on something
3. (unlikely)put it into savings
But these things will happen mostly because it all comes in one lump sum. Spent or put away immediately with no real thought about it afterwards. ok, except maybe the gripe that it wasnt enough.
I have another suggestion; cash it .And keep that cash around spending only $7-13 a week.
Why? It's a simple way to actually get more enjoyment out of it. Like the gift that keeps on giving. Here's some thought as to how one might indulge:
1. I always make my coffee at home now since i bought a kuerig and get the lovely gourmet pods. This is nice, but so many times i've walked away from my old buddy starbucks because i could no longer justify a $4-5.00 coffee. well, now i can do that twice a week if i want.
2. same goes for those magazines i used to enjoy buying at the grocery store
3. i can give extra for suprise ministries at church when they come up , instead of feeling bad when the offering tray comes around & i've already given my check for tithe.
4.when my kids or husband need a few extra bucks for gas , i can give it without mourning the loss of my "allowance"
5. heck, i can afford to get a decent car wash!
6.if i want to rent a movie above & beyond my alloted 2 at a time, no biggie!
7. splurge on a fountain soda- a rare treat for this die hard fast food hater
8.i can buy a few scratch off lotto tickets each week
9. not that i would, but i could go to a movie by myself
10.the dollar store is a great place for a shopping spree with this kind of loot- wrapping paper, car deodorizers, index cards, cat box liners...wahoo!
11. the library always has used book sales
12. and there's this thrift shop i've been meaning to visit.
Yup, the world is my oyster now! Thanks Obama!i am soon off to stimulate the economy.I'll be thinking about all those poor suckers who blew it all in one shot too.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
It's also hard to try to ignore certain goings on around you . I wont be specific here, but let's just say i need to start staying away from the things i see that bother me on a very deep , emotional level.
I need LESS of those things.
Maybe right now, i need less neighbors, less Facebook,and even less kids. They all seem to get me feeling bad about myself and i cannot fathom why. How did i become so insecure over the past few years?
I am totally at a loss when i try to figure it out. while there certainly have been times in my life(brief periods) where i've felt left out rejected, unpopular or lonely...these last 2-3 years have gotten to be more intensely themed in these areas.Do i chalk this up to perimenopause?
There is a good thing going on ,though, here i think.
I've been attending a ladies bible study for 3 weeks now. It's been the most eye opening, fascinating thing i've ever done. I never, ever would have thought i'd actually like it. i just figured it was what i must do to deepen my understanding of the word.So i made a commitment to go this year.But it is truly so much more than i ever expected.
Right now we're studying"Battlefield of the Mind" by Joyce Meyer.And the above is exactly that. What an incredible woman, and wham! This has hit me right between the eyes.Years ago, when i thought of bible study, i pictured little old ladies sitting in their parlor preaching about whats wrong with the world, and gossiping about other old ladies at the church. And once, when i saw a joyce meyer clip on late night tv i said to myself-"there goes another evangelist just trying to make money by exploiting emotionally needy people".I was wrong--way wrong.
So, i guess it all ties in. Connecting the dots.
Having more because of less.I now getting a less narrow mind, and more broadened horizons.Less
stigma and cynicism, yet more opportunity.
And maybe , just maybe...i can soon overcome the loneliness,the destructive thinking, the caring about this silly crap around me. Somehow , i think i can live on less of that.
One thing i really need more of , though,is sleep.But thats a subject for another day.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Saturday, February 7, 2009
In looking back over my recent posts , i've noticed another decline in the quality of material presented with reguard to my original theme.I know i tend to veer off from this easily. I guess i find it hard to stay focused.
There are some things this year so far that have been done to continue the progress that i'd neglected to mention, due to a brain glitch i guess.
1. we cancelled our ADT service. This saves 102.00 per month. we were really no longer using it. we still have all the cameras & equip though since we purchased it outright and i'm glad we did. i like to use the cameras to feel secure when i'm in bed alone, and i also love the intercom system since i dont have to yell for my kids to come downstairs for things .
2.i HAVE decided to do my own haircolor which will save about 100-125.00 a month. i've also dropped the ultra expensive products and use just salon grade(still pricey, but only half as much).
3. after doing the fast with the church and eliminating meat & white flour it saved so much $ on groceries. i even like the menu change. i still have to buy meat for the rest of the family, but my daughter eats more fruits & veggies now & my son loves salads.So it's just the hubby. i saved about $80-100 last month .I also finally dropped those 7lbs i was fighting with!
4. as soon as we find out the specifics of everything required , we will be turning in my sons license to the dmv until he gets his own insurance or turns 18.this will save us $1400. 00 this year.
Now, all of this being said, and the fact that we wont be going away for vacation- a real bummer- i must also confess. there has been alot of money spent on my educational costs these past few months. the workshop in ny was $755, with the hotel costing $356 for 3 nights. the hotel has a fridge , microwave and is less than 5 miles from the site though.so i can purchase food and bring it with me. i am driving which will save bus, train or air fair but i'll have to buy gas .Additionally the clinical itself was 1900. oo which was on a payment plan, but when i accepted my date it had to be paid right away (balance was $760) and with that came a hotel stay again ($)139.00, and of course gas and i am taking food.theres a small fridge , coffee maker (in room) and a micro to use in their kitchen.
After all this, if i pass, i still have one online course to take($300.00) and graduation fees and the state board exam fee.So life this year has still been pretty expensive.
I feel justified though since education is an investment. With a higher degree comes more opportunity and of course more money. But the bigger part of it is financial and career security.
All said, the ends justify the means.
And i feel good about it.
We have a solid plan for paying the credit card balance off by April, too. and my husband is even tweeking the finances so we can live on a 5 day a week paycheck, if it comes to that.
So far, we are on track this year!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
I use this blog , as i stated many times, as a touchpoint for myself.It helps me to make goals and then sometimes look back in review. It holds me accountable.Sometimes, its so powerful, i actually hesitate to post a goal because it makes others aware if i fail, or quit!
So, here it is. I want to talk less, listen more. There -i said it.
I've always known this should be a pursuit of mine. I know it puts other people off when i go on & on. I dont really know why i'm like that. And i swear, its only goptten worse as i age!
I figure, if i talk less, it will also simplify my life.Think about it. Less is more.I will learn more patience, get to know others better.I just have to figure out how to stop myself.Like many bad habits, it will be a hard one to break. But i feel thta in the long run, it will definitely be an improvement. And on that note.....good night!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Right now though, before i continue my night by watching a movie , i wanna give a shout out to the people i've had to ignore at times throughout this process. And a great big hug to those who are putting up with my moodiness.
Thanks for being supportive. I love ya!
But let me tell you ,my husband was really upsetting tonight. I presented him with the typed up list for my sons discipline and, as expected, he "doesnt agree with it". We got into a huge arguement, as usual. I get the feeling that even after 7 years this is a man who will never be compassionate or understanding towards the human condition.I try to remind my husband that Jesus teaches forgiveness, but my husband says he wont forgive my son. Its ridiculous. Thank God I had Bible study tonight because i was getting close to exploding after that (and some other )comments that were made.
I wont continue to vent on that subject. I'll just keep trying to be positive.
It's been a pretty busy week again so far. I was able to get rescheduled for work since i dropped a case and another baby didnt come home. Tonight it was nasty weather, driving around, but weirdly some areas were'nt even touched. Todays FunFactor:I am enjoying my remote start in my car as well.It gets the car nice & warm before i go out in the morning, and i also can set the defrost !
ok, i'm still mad at my husband.i''l keep trying to block it out.
On another note.I did make it to the gym last night and worked my legs. It was good. Very good. I am sore.
Here's how the rest of my week will go-an early dinner with a friend tomorrow, tanning, then gym and maybe Yoga. Thurs . my son has a counseling appt. then i'll go to the gym. Fri- i tan at 5pm then go to the gym. Saturday i have to get groceries and practice my labs at home. sunday is church in the morning then i clean the house(of course this is an ongoing venture). This pretty much sums up my usual week.I am not gonna throw in all the other stuff like work and studying because thats an everyday given.SO....maybe you can understand how i get swamped. Dealing with the kids is another time consumption.
Oh, i do so hope i get some relief somewhere...like maybe time away!!!
And, i am still upset with the hubs..but less so...i'll keep trying.
For all the stuff that goes wrong each day, a hundred more go right. And i am thankful.
Soon again, i can post about the simple life i'm trying to achieve. Next up...doing my own hair color at home. Savings-possibly over $100 a month!
Monday, February 2, 2009
They had awful food there, however, so even though i was on my last day of fasting, i tried a french fry(allowed) and knew i wasnt missing out on anything.Today i went back to eating meat. And boy did i eat too much. First i made myself a special shrimp dinner, followed by a peice of fruit spice bread.Then we attended a superbowl get together at a neighbors and i ate sausage & peppers, a taco spread on tortilla chips and some kind of spinache cheese cube thing. It sounds weird but it was good. I left early to go home & nap.
I will probably gain back every last pound i lost these three weeks.i hadnt even been to the gym except for yoga for 2 weeks now. But i am resolved to re-commit tomorrow night. i'll even go in a bit early before yoga & do light legs.i did actually wind up enjoying my fast. the food is so simple and inexpensive.Tonight i brought a beansprout & baby spinache wrap to work , along with some grapes and strawberries. I find i do quite well with vegetarianism.i hardly missed meat the last week.
Todays FunFactor: watching everyone else watching the superbowl and wondering why we humans do such trivial , irrelevant things. I mean, how does a football score change my ife? or move me? I can even say watching Desparate Housewives moves me at times, but never a football score.Still, it's pretty amusing looking around at peoples faces when they are really getting into it.
My Everyday Adventure today was going through my recipe box and planning my strategy for this weeks menu and next weeks grocery list. If this seeems lame to you, thats because it is. My life is on a calm sea for today- not rocky waters, no pirates. And,after the last few weeks , i for one, plan on enjoying it while it lasts...boring or no!
My son is still home, no new news there. My daughter is on an even keel at the moment. Our bills are getting paid. I am still working towards my goals.And thats just where i want to be .Authentically Yours.