Monday, January 19, 2009

Parenting Blues

Sometimes life just keeps throwing you Sh*t balls. After all i am going through with my dog, wondering if she will survive or not, my son goes & does something truly stupid and now has made me question whether anything i have done for him his whole life has made a difference. i won't go into details here, but it's something worse than i ever imagined from him. in fact that i may just send him back to live with his dad- a man who i have saved him from his whole life.
When kids do this stuff it makes you feel like such a failure.All i can see right now is the disappointment, shame , and helplessness i feel.I tried so hard to teach him the right things to do , instill value in him, show him love, and set good examples.So many people around me over the years have told me he" just" needs all these things , so i gave freely and in abundance.Still people are saying the same things. I say,if you think that way, if you think that kids will turn out just right if you give them this or teach them that,...bullocks.
Apparently you can give it your all, all of their lives and they can turn out exactly the way you tried to avoid. The way "other" peoples kids turn out, the ones who don't give a crap. The children whose mom , dad or both are never around, are alcoholics , or are abusive. The way kids from economically deprived homes "turn out".The way kids supposedly turn out when they are not receiving any guidance.
I challenge anyone to give me a failproof formula for raising kids. Yes, God is involved here. Yes, i have been involved with my son , very involved. He has had every advantage , been given every chance to step up, and i've taken all the advice i have been given(witin reason). He even sees a counselor regularly.
What is a parent to do?
I guess i will just keep praying.

1 comment:

Secrets said...

Although he is not my son, I've been involved with him. I feel the same things, maybe not as deeply as you. At times like this, prayer and guidance from the Bible are the only solutions we have. Many times a read of the scriptures will produce the answer. Its truly disappointing.