Monday, December 8, 2008

How I've Failed This Year

With Christmas upon us & New Years right on it's tails, i came to think upon my resolutions a bit earlier than usual this time . I'm not sure what made me think about it, but as I did, i began to do some major self -loathing.
It may have come from disgust with myself over :
1.my lack of self-control with my diet. I really need to re-think my plan if i am going to succeed with any type of diet goal next year. My pattern seems to be "on "task 1-2 days, then off 2-3 days, each time feeling defeated. It's hard , even for us thinner types. Not just with losing weight or keeping it off, but with taming the sugarbug and making healthy choices. It has gotten much worse for me with age,too.
2.I spent way too much $ on vacations this year. Especially the two weeks in June. Although it was not so bad in November, we still could have economized a little better.I just didnt plan as well as i could have. Additionally, I've had way too much time away from home this year.Never thought I'd hear myself say"too much vacation".
3.I have spent too much time gossiping, and venting negativity, and making others feel bad, not better about themselves. I'm not sure if it makes me feel better about myself temporarily, or if it's just become such a habit I cant even stop myself or am unaware at the time. I just know looking back, sometimes as soon as i've done it, i feel terrible about it.
4. I have been unable to give up terribly expensive hair care. I did get low lights the last 2 times with intentions of going back to my original color, but I am having a hard time letting go of the "blonde"me.
5.I am still drinking bottled water and not even , nearly enough of it. I have only been getting less than a 1/2 a bottle a day on average and have actually been pretty dehydrated. I havent increased the coffee(still at avg. of 2-3 cups when I get up) but have added herbal teas.

Now, here's what went right this year:
1. I have used a lot less MaryKay products, saving about $30.00/month.Maybe even more. It was gradual.
2.I havent given over to driving much more since gas prices dropped. my one indulgence has been extra trips to the gym,since combining Yoga & weightlifting nights was actually doing more harm and taking away from my practice, But shouldnt they cancel each other out?
3.I did actually make money at a Yard sale this year. I have never done that before.
4.I finished all my nursing classes as planned!I am now waiting & studying for my clinical date! 21/2 years ago i would've never though i'd see this day, but i stuck with it!
5.I kept up with Yoga , Coffee dates w/ a friend, and have successfully kept Mr. Scale in the closet most of the time since I said I would. Plus, I am still only wearing my watch at work and very little outside of that---very little.

What I've enjoyed more:
  • talking to people
  • spending time with my mom & daughter
  • not adding a bunch of senseless ads to my blog
  • learning to cook new foods
  • listening to more music

When i started these lists tonight i went back to some old blogs to see how far I've come or not come. I wanted to see how far I've veered from my original intent, because i felt like i was a bit off.

I'm glad I did.

This will now be the foundation from which i will have to work come the new year. No lofty ideals, just some good, common sense based on research.

Ahhh...the purpose has come full circle. Amen.

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