Wednesday, October 8, 2008


This is chock full of negativity so please feel free to accept my invitation to skip it.These are the things i am sick of :
1. Feeling sore all over
2. more days of depression without cause
3. having gas
4.unsolicited advice
5. too much housework.not enough help.
6.being unmotivated to study lately
7. men
8.counting calories. and not being able to pig out on cake, muffins, donuts, cookies, pies.....
9.feeling "edgy"
10. too many appointments
oh! the list goes on!
I woke up on the wrong side of the web today i guess. But i think i have figured out at least one contributor. whenever i take the new higher dosage sleeping pill my Dr. gave me last week, i've been this way. Yesterday, i was fine. so anyway, now i will take only 1/2 the dose. I also get this way a day or two before my moon time.
In fact, i could probably start a whole new blog just about THAT.
And weirdly, whenever i happen to feel this way, almost nothing can fix it. Occasionally, taking a walk helps..or just getting out of the house.Sometimes drinking extra water, too. But not always. I used to keep a log about it, but nothing else really helped, including tea, R& R, candles, movies, changing my diet, etc...
After seeing "Menopause, the Musical out loud" w/ my mom saturday,though, i think a lot of my troubles lie with the impending estrogen depletion.
The musical was hilarious by the way. And i would consider taking the hubby next time . Maybe this would give him a clue.
There was an older man sitting next to us who looked pretty confused. He was probably , like, only one of a half dozen males in the whole place.
On another note.....
I was contemplating some stuff earlier.While still thanking myself for eliminating some things from my life earlier this year I'm still feeling a little down about something. I've just recently realized how little my cell phone actually rings these days.I was all proud that i got rid of a few albatross's back in May, but now I'm feeling the midlife emptiness, i guess.
Whatever happened to the good old days when my phone rang constantly..with friends wanting to go out, guys asking for dates, even my family called more often. Is this what happens as you go through life?
I know, I know. I am likely to hear "well, when you get married thats whats supposed to happen" . I realize that on some level. But my ego is quaking in its boots sometimes.I wonder if i'll ever obtain that much awaited stage of life where i am "comfortable in my own skin". Sometimes, i think people just say that like a mantra. Is there anyone who never has a shred of doubt about themselves? Who never occasionally wonders if anyone still likes them ? or if the opposite sex are still attracted to them?Well, if so, it must be nice to be one of those people.
So, for now...for today, i am sick, sick, sick of just about everything.

Maybe i am PMS ing or just getting to be a cranky old lady. oh well. It is what it is.
That doesnt mean i cant have fun though!
Todays Funfactor: wearing some of my winter wardrobe again . I always miss it after it's been in hybernation. Of course ,by February i will be sick of these clothes again too. But right's cool to shimmy into those cordouroys and long gym pants, and (my fav) the cowboy boots!!The other fun thing... I am going to continue my recent searches about Yurts.I'll be keeping ya posted! Blessings!

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