Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Evidently, an Epiphany!

Ok, i wasnt going to blog today since i had been feeling so awful . and useless. and humorless.
But..tada! today i feel 100% better.
So you get to deal with me again!all that pent up energy from not going to yoga twice and just basically being down in the dumps has resurfaced into a new, improved Nirvana Diva...at least for an hour or so....
I have been blogging for about 2 months now. It has been an interesting ride. Sometimes frustrating, sometimes boring, but as i look back -insightful...at least for myself. Which was the point after all.
At first i wasnt even going to tell anyone about it. Just wanted to use it as an outlet. That grew into a tool for self- discovery, and from there i started adding things to improve my computer knowledge and also for fun. Sometimes, though, problems and frustrations began when i started looking at the blog WRONG.
I started looking at how it appeared to others, instead of to myself. Those have been the nights when i have had almost nothing to say. Because i was feeling like i had an audience.
Today, i suddenly realized. I have no audience. Its just me. Sort a diary.Sort of Therapy. Yeah, thats what it SHOULD be.
Not just a way to make money(like some blogs i 've read- blatantly obvious they have no heart, nothing to add to the lives of others and are constantly using guest posts, links, videos, and quotes to fill up space)...and oh, yeah, to make money.
I admit, i am in sort of vent mode. But i'd like to think of it more like...outlet mode.
Before i upset anyone(but like i said- i have only one regular reader who i am grateful for) i am not saying that the above items arent useful and dont have their place. But...BUT!Not to the extent of reading a blog that just seems like another advertisement, or reads like a self -help book. And yes, i have caught myself falling into that mode as well.
So...no more. Just keepin it real here from now on.
Here's my latest agenda.
Deciding what to do about the following:
1. Fun Things my Family used to do
-bicycle rides
-hikes or trail walks
-puzzles
-family game night
-trips to dairy queen
(there are other things but i forget at the moment)
Vs.
2.What my family does now
(son) hang out w/friends, go to school, work, watches tv in room
(hubby)watches tv, eats, sleeps, works
(me) cook, clean, work, go to gym/yoga, and stress( i also do other fun stuff-see previous posts- but they are usually without the fam)
We are like , just people living in the same house.
So, i am working on this . In the past several months i've gotten the tv's reduced by one and gotten the tv out of our bedroom. This has been a wonderful thing. No more lounging in the bedroom watching tv or falling asleep to espn or the seven hundredth veiwing of a dvd .(hubby did this, not me)Now, the bedroom is finally for sleeping!!!
In response to my dilemma, i have also been researching hobbies. For my own sanity while i pursue happiness, and for a change of family venue.
You gotta at least read this...Did you know that THESE are considered and , yes, listed as actual HOBBIES:
-lock picking
-dumpster diving
-tombstone rubbing(i did know about this one- but still)
-bubble blowing
-urban exploration(this one is multi-faceted. The first site indicated going to places that are prohibited to be entered by humans...like old buildings, underground passageways, caverns, old job site, and condemned areas-interesting)
And i thought i would just find stuff like stamp collecting. hmm. i am still researching. So, hope this blog was much more REAL.
Hey, everybody......"Keep on Keepin' on"...Peace!

1 comment:

Secrets said...

Isn't yoga a hobby? Isn't going to the gym a hobby? Cooking?

You may have more than one regular reader. You may even have a secret admirer that conceals oneself. You just never know!

Secrets