Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Sex----in the City

Here it is...the pic of our campsite. Finally, i was able to upload it!

Now , my friend & i are thinking of our next raft trip to try out the whitewater in a kayak for this spring.An exciting prospect indeed. But this time , i am planning the menu! because although there was a lot of planning and forethought put into our menu by my friend, it turns out his tastes are on the "tangy" side. Mine are relatively bland- steamed vegs, chicken tenders, fresh fruit- with no sauces or seasoning...maybe salt/pepper.

Today's Everyday Adventure:Doing something you do everyday in a new & different way.It can be taking out the trash, putting on your make-up or driving to the gas station. An easy way to mix it up is to do these things while concentrating on your breath. I like to do a series of Pranayama- there are quite a few ways . You can inhale to one count & exhale to another or make sure they are even. There's in through the nose out through the mouth. There's quick multiple inhales with a long slow exhale. Just about any combination. But concentrate. Another way to change the way you do your daily's is to wrap yourself with saran wrap before you get dressed for the day.(but i don't recommend this).

Sex in the city- where do i begin? Once upon a time i lived in the city..actually upon a few times. but the last time was with an ex( we'll call him "t").

I, to this day, consider "t" "the love of my life". There are so many reasons why that is.Our relationship began at a time in my life when i was incredibly debilitated . I was in the process of a separation from a physically and emotionally abusive man. I was living out in the boonies (hiding out from the abuser) in a one room shack. I met "t" at a bar when i was dragged out by some sympathetic friends one night."T" called me 17 times the next day before i got back to him( i was really scared to get anyone involved with my mess, not to mention distrustful) and our 4 year love affair began.I moved to the city within a month of our introduction. "T" helped me in so many ways- laying down tile in my kitchen to suprise me while i was at work. Meeting with my ex- abuser to recover my puppy(the abuser was using it as a manipualtive tool). Helping with my move, and taking me out to the movies in between. But more than that-he whispered beautiful words in my ear late at night in the dark. He spent time lying on the roof with me just looking at the stars, he listened to me talk when i needed to,and held me when i was sad.When he moved in months later, he constantly did little things to suprise, help or comfort me-too many to name . And eventually, i learned to let him make me laugh.In fact , he 's the inspiration for and inventor of the Funfactor .The actual sex began with all of that.And never ended.(Well, physically it did ...when we split, but the feelings i remember live on).Even when our clothes were on i felt like we were lying together initimately in a way i had ever known with anyone. He made love to my mind and soul without ever touching my body.Still today i consider this the best sex i ever had.

Later , when we split, i felt like my insides were coming out all over the floor most of the time.I moved away to the country and for one year i spent alot of time in self-destructive mode before deciding to do some soul-searching. I finally made peace with myself, stopped hating "t" for leaving and eventually met my current husband- our sex in the country post is upcoming.

What i learned from this is that there's a person in each of our lives that we will never forget. Someone who makes our insides quake and our toes curl. Sometimes it lasts forever, sometimes only awhile. But we never forget the feelings they brought out in us."T" and i are still good friends and always will be. We care deeply for one another on a whole new level.But that couldnt have happened if i had not been willing to let go in the beginning or at the end. Thats the key. Life plays an unfair game and sometimes you just gotta forfeit.

Monday, September 29, 2008

I'm Baaaaack....

Today's FunFactor:Taking a long hot soak in the tub after a few day of camping. Nothing compares when you feel dirty , tired and damp from "roughing it". Todays non- Funfactor- realizing that my own mother doesnt even check this blog to find out where her daughter is, what's up with her grandchildren & basically to keep up with the current events in my life.Hiss! Boo!Her logic is that she doesnt know how to use blogs(lol) and she would rather get a personal phone call.(man...i really do try mom) anyway-vent, vent, vent....and now, done.
So, as you may recall i was away camping this weekend about 3 1/2 hours from home.The weather was on the wet side and we anticipated the worst. But we were able to set up camp and still go biking and rafting the next day.The last day, however, it poured and we had to nix the hiking trip.
On the bright side, i feel exhilerated that we were able to navigate class iii -iv waters in our 2 man craft with no guide in with us. There was one rapids everyone had to have a guide to get through, but it took only a minute .but i think we could 've handled it alone. next time, it's a kayak!!!no fear!!And, i lost 3 lbs!
Since we decided to head to a few local taverns Sat. night , we didnt get in til 3 a.m.(what a unique breed of locals!) and the next morning ,after dismantling, the trip home wiped me out. i napped before work so i have had no other adventures to tell about.i'll share a pic of our Adventure Extraordinaire later, for some reason it wont load right now. byes!

Friday, September 26, 2008

Call The Plumber

Unfortunately, i'm not going to spend a lot of time blogging tonight. (or maybe that's a "fortunately"). I'm just going to say a few words about the picture here. This is actually a pic of a street i have to park on when i go to one of my homecare cases. The night i backed in to this space i was , once again , worried. Not only about the safety of my car in this area at night, but about backing into one of the numerous "permanent" residents' garbage cans. It's pretty awful when you have to worry about that when you're parking for your job. But on this particular eve. i found , much to my dismay that a particular item of note graced the curb right by my car. Unbelievable. I mean , seriously- who would leave this on the street?

I am so sick of the trash i see around us in this world. I can hardly even understand why anyone in any neighborhood, reguardless of economic position would allow thier neighborhood to exist in these states. Why would you want your child to play on these sidewalks or even live around it, be associated with it, become numb to the existance of filth in your environment???Believe me...this pic doesnt even begin to show the worst of the street & surrounding area- this was actually after the A.M. garbage pick up.


Thursday, September 25, 2008

Time Changes Everything

Yesterday i got a tetanus booster shot. My arm is so sore today. In fact , my whole body is actually sore and it's making me very cranky! i have seriously decided to change my exercise routine starting in Oct.. I am no longer doing weightlifting prior to Yoga or i'll never get any better at some of the poses. I am just too darn sore before i even start!
Also , i got weighed with all my clothes on for the first time in a while. This revealed to me that my scale at home is no longer in sync with my dr.'s office. The one there weighs me 2 lbs. less than at home.hmm...i'll have to re-verify at the gym. i like to make a three way verification check.
A few days ago , my hubby & i were discussing a situation at his job. During the course of our conversation he mentioned an opinion he had about the situation . It was a valid one and i asked why he didnt bring it to the attention of the union. He says "i didnt want to be a troublemaker".
Excuse me.
I must not have that gene.
I explained to him that this was probably not something Einstein, or Eli Whitney,or even the inventor of the wheel would have said. It's certainly not the line of thinking Martin Luther King or Ghandi would recommend . Actually, as i see it, it takes all kinds of "troublemakers" to make the world go round.
Yes, i am including myself here. I am, alas, a "troublemaker".But a good kind:)
Also, i have been thinking about making another change in my life, one i've done a few times in my adulthood, and it has always served me well.I'm going to stop wearing my watch. Of course , i'll have to bring it to work, being a nurse.But I was inspired to remember times when i had done this before by a post on The Illuminated Mind blog(see list on right side bar for link) by Jonathan Meade....
"Time is not money, time is life".
What a great quote.
So many things get in the way of realizing how much life is slipping through our fingers at any given time. Many of these times we are watching the clock (like at work, for instance) perhaps wishing it would go faster. Or , conversely, enjoying ourselves so much(like at a party, or talking with friends) that we wonder where the time went as we look in shock at our watches.when i read this quote i immediately thought.."why?.Why am i still wearing this watch day in , day out. why do i feel like i have to look at this timepiece or the one on the wall at least 10-20 times a day?what could i be doing instead of watching the time?" I'll tell you what...living.
I remember back when i gave up wearing a watch .(like i said, more than once)At first , it was really a hard habit to break. I thought how much i needed it. How it made me feel more secure , like i was in control.I liked being able to look down and believe that i knew where my place in the universe was , just based on this small piece of machinery(made completely by man).
And then i realized how silly all of that was. Because none of it was a truth. There is no more security to life , i have no real control over the randomness of life, and having this thing certainly doesnt tell me where i stand . That could change at any given moment.
So i took it off .
And over the next week or so i started to realize the liberation i was feeling. It actually made me pay more attention to other things around me . People, nature, my own thoughts and emotions. I noticed i became more in tune with the rhythms of life, like the shadows growing across my porch as the sun sets or rises. Like the sound of birds at different times of the day, or the music of locusts or the owls song at dusk or nightfall.
It's really worth a shot.Give it a try.You might just discover your own timeline.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Clever Endeavor

Lately, i've been striving to come up with clever ways to have less in spite of my hubbys prediposition to "keep up with the Joneses".And in spite of myself, for , alas , I have been re-trained without my conscious consent over the past few years to consume, consume,consume.
(Not just food.)
I tried the whole thing with using less electric. i turned off three small refridgerators running in our home. I turned the thermostat from 70 up to 75 for the summer then up to 78 even. i stopped using my dishwasher except when i hosted a dinner or party. i ran my bath water only halfway full.I stopped using my outside lights.And ,YET, according to Met-Ed, i used the same amount of electric after 2 months of this and therefore my bill was still 153.00.
Unbelievable, and , no point in arguing with them either. so as of this week i plugged back in the fridge in our room (to hold bottled water- yeah, still trying to work that one out-but i am back to drinking 80% more h20)and i started using my dishwasher again(although i still feel guilty about it). Overall, these 2 things have increased my happiness quotient at least ten-fold. i still hold to the other things just on principle though.
Back to the original thought.Since i have found that my name changes to a bad word at my house when i insist that everyone try to be more frugal and environmentally responsible.i have had to just accept that i must "be the change"and not keep beating a dead horse with my family. So here's some of the other things i have done:
1.Cut my use of Mary Kay cosmetics back by half. I only use their foundation, a moisturizer and an eye cream(not the whole skin care system or any other make-up)
2.i am trying to re-use my water bottles one time. i have read that doing it more than that is cultivating bacteria. Yuck.
3. I have moved the papertowel holder to a less visible location.
4.i try to find low cost things to do around my home instead of driving somewhere .For myself that means cooking, baking, painting, cleaning, reading, yoga or doing crosswords. Occasionally i have set out jigsaw puzzles for the family to do as they will . This is always a big hit. Everyone tries to contribute.
Unforunately , our cats want to help also. This usually brings things to a screeching halt.
5.I blog. This saves everyone from having to listen to me vent. also, it's another form of free entertainment.
6. I continue with menu planning, coupon cutting,watering down my expensive hair conditioner(with distilled water only- this increases use by 2/3!!), and making due with a lot of things i already have.
What more can a diva do?I ask you?
I am still proud of the fact that i do not watch tv, hate noise pollution(loud music all the time),that70- 80% of my diet is veggies & fruits,and i almost never eat out. I don't even really enjoy soda.I teach my family aboutexerise, healthy eating,not littering, loving animals, and not wasting. I teach frugality.
I am NOT a die hard"green" person, or a PETA member, nor do i attend marches for causes. I simply try to live with intent.I compromise- like combining some trips, not all. And I no longer feel pressured to leave the house before work for small tasks or shopping. I just do it later when it makes sense.
Yes,I still buy expensive, unnecessary items. But i do try. And thats all i can do.
Todays Everyday Adventure: The motorcycle ride was fabulous! I got to don my new smelling leather Bike jacket and rove the mountainside while watching a gorgeous sunset peek in & out of sight throughout our travels. Wind in my braids, fresh air and fragrant inhalations. ahhh.....If you've hardly ever been on a motor bike, why not now? it's more popular now than ever with the gas crunch, and an incredible experience everytime.Funfactor?Eating dinner from a carved
out half melon and a home-made bread bowl. Making a bread bowl is a little like creating pottery,it can be simple or complex.Soon i will be baking pies and have great plans for top crust designs............cheerio!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Feelin' Bloggy

wow. i just spent 4 hours doing absolutely nothing constructive. i surfed the net, perusing BLOGS .Granted, i did come across some really great ones, but geesh!I didnt study or read or watch a movie or anything.I have to share this really, really, really funny linkhttp://icanhascheezburger.com/.oh, please check it out. i just about peed myself.

i did eat.apples, pretzels, dum-dums. the usual. My butt is getting bigger, so , i guess that's, like, an accomplishment.
Speaking of butts... tonight i went tanning, then to the gym to lift, then to yoga(my usual routine).Although this has been working well for me, i am thinking of changing it up a bit. Mostly because i keep running into someone i shouldnt and it's getting quite annoying.Anyway, i think i'd like to check out a regular Yoga studio. There's a few around, but i've been putting it off because of the expense. However, i may reconsider that in light of the recent events. And besides, i do believe it would be wonderful to have a teacher that actually corrects your postures, a room not filled with mirrors with a window where everyone can see in, and no one yelling out instructions constantly.

Also, i am in the process of upgrading my blogsite. please tell me if you start having any problems accessing it.After browsing other blogs, i've become quite envious . MUST find out their secrets.Need new background designs.And sooo many other things. I have been green and uneducated. How embarrassing. Did you know i'm not even the funniest person out there? Unbelievable , right? Had you all fooled with my sly and cunning way with words, didnt i?

On another note, i am excited this week! i have plans. oh,yes.I have plans.Starting with a glorious motorcycle ride tomorrow on a FAST bike (for a change). Weds. will be back to tan/gym/yoga . Then i am going to find something fun to do Thurs.(even if it kills me) and Fri.(joy!) i leave for camping! Yeah!what a promise of great adventure!I will post about that for sure!!

But for now, i must get back to this important task. So , adios!

Monday, September 22, 2008

People Collecting

My new years goal this year was a little different than every other year. It was to commit to spending more time with people than things. The reason this goal came about was probably due to the extreme burn out i was experiencing from the dizzying year of appointments and unecessary stressors i created for myself.By the time the New year started i was already ill with my first bout of laryingitis. an array of medical terribles followed ,including a second round of laryngitis, a severe gastric virus, more arthritis ,a sleep disorder, increased allergy/sinus problems, etc. This is not the normal me.

i came top realize that all the stressors of the previous year had come to roost in my body, as i knew they eventually would.Hence, before i even got started on dealing & healing, i knew something had to change and my goal was born.

to be sure it has been an enlightening, relaxing and wonderful acheivement.just by making it a goal, my life has chamged drastically.i feel more connected to life, the human part of it, and consequencially , connected on the inside.
how have i accomplished this? i'm glad you asked.

i simply began.

i just called some people up & scheduled some time with them.i thought about places i wanted to go and things i wanted to do and made plans, including in the plans either a freind, spouse, child, parent , sibling, or neighbor(s).when i had no one to tag along or to tag along with, i went alone and made a point to meet people.No "being afraid". No "loner" stuff. Forget about shyness.

Be the wolf. Not the sheep. Not the shepherd. My daughter remembers me bringing her up by that motto. i had quite forgotten it. Let it go about 5 years ago .It means "get in, get what you want , and get out."She didnt know about that. She thought it meant "eat the sheep".lol.if my meaning still isnt clear to you here, let me use modern terminology-"step outside the box" , "get out of your comfort zone", "just do it",etc....getting the picture now?This was just my personal way of phrasing it. It's easy to say you dont have time for these things(people) and staying stuck in your hide-out, away from any personal risk taking. But are you living? or just existing?

I went to farmers markets, met friends for coffee, went to a winery and danced, took my mom to places she'd never been, booked a vacation for extended family and even took 2 extra teens(!), i took a ropes course,stopped in "unannounced", had people over for dinners and cookouts or just a drink, hosted a block party(bigger each year!),hosted and attended buncos , stayed at a historic inn and mingled with ski folk, got massages,went to a dinner theater,and many , many other things i would not have had "time" for last year , the time i spent running in circles unpleasantly, the time that led to more downtime.

I simply said"yes".
To myself, to people.
and what have i gotten out of it? a life truly enriched,with less ailments, a boatload of culture, some new freinds and an insatiable appetite for more of the same. Namaste!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

13 things to add to your life-maybe!

In the spirit of setting things on a more positive spin, i've decided to write a tad about the things that have increased and decreased my happiness this past year.May be some ideas for you guys here.
On the upside:
1.every month i have a coffee date with a friend. it has added much needed girl-talk time to my life(except that my friend is gay so, technically not a girl)
2.Giving up control of the bills & finances-difficult at first, but i'm glad i did. Not only for previously mentioned reasons, but also because i have seen a better man in my husband ,a more responsible one. and i have realized another facet of his love for me.
3.taking up yoga--it is the cornerstone of my week. although i keep saying i want to make it daily, i find that 2 days a week is o.k. for now in addition to my weight lifting.Dont want to keep that old crazy lady schedule anymore.
4.more short trips- these are more like adventures--trips to the park or duck pond, weekend trips, or just daytrips
5. spontaneous visits, picnics and other outings(like window shopping).
6.late night talks with a colleague of mine---great for having someone to backboard ideas off of as well as gain encouragement in succeeding with nursing tests,etc.And she's a cool friend ,too.
7.short periods of time without wearing make-up or styling my hair- fairly short, usually, but there was a run of about 4 weeks back in march after the vermont trip---i just felt so "hippie".
8.painting again! at last!
9.blogging- a self-help tool and a way to keep in touch.
10.reading a different version of the bible. I'm into the new living translation now.
11.projects- home decorating is finally becoming a reality. those around me think i'm nuts. but i insist that i must be creative and let my imagination run with it in this area. rather harmless rebellion i do think.
12. daily funfactors. let me really explain these. These are really just everyday things that give me a source of amusement. they might work for you. they might not. but i encourage you to find your own-and SHARE!
13.Finally(although many more to come i hope)-living everyday outside of my comfort zone-a lot or a little.

i've also noticed a few things that have decreased my happiness:
1. switching away from bottled water. my whole family drinks about 90% less water since the switch. which means we are less healthy. so, at present, in spite of provided plastic water bottles, i am torn. i hate killing the environment with all the bottles and i hate wasting 25.00 a month on 2-3 cases of water...so any suggestions?
2.trying to save $ by handwashing dishes. we saved NOTHING. and it's a p.i.t.a.
3.more $ going out the window on cell phone service, internet and car payments.
4.my bathroom scale and continued obsession with diet. darn it! i eat lots of veggies & fruits & healthy stuff! i cant help that i also like junk!

So there you have it. Sorry if i've bored you. try an old post- maybe more to your liking.for me- a quick reference of all that is...Namaste!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Boating Bliss?

To the right is my newest canvas in progress.lots to go on this one.

i am finally ready to post now that i have a hot delicious bowl of soup halfway down & also warming my hands!i just picked up a new recipe magazine today and am excited to browse for soup recipes when i'm finished.oh. i also have a People magazine. i know. it's just a hard habit to break!

so, tonight i want to cover several subjects. first ,a shout out to all of you (2) who comment. makes me feel worthwhile . Although i will probably never try to blog for a living , at least i know that someone, somewhere, out there at least checks to see if i am still alive once in a while (smile).

Tonight, my husband and i had an Everyday Adventure window shopping for boats. We went to a Yamaha dealer and had a grand old time embarking on imaginary journeys in our own craft. The salesman was a hoot.He was either a truly self-made wealthy man or a truly good yarn-spinner . Either way, i was entranced.I guess i am easily deluded!the boat i liked the best was 40,000. 00 which could be financed out to 144 months at about 300/mo. plus taxes, etc.( it could actually go out to 180 months-15 years-Gasp!).I still have not slept so am in the thralls of love with this boat. Hopefully tomorrow i will regain control of my senses. But , for now, i will allow my daydream to persist , thank you very much.In keeping with the blogs purpose, though, i have still thought about what it is that is driving me towards having a boat. I have decided that in this case, it really really isnt about how it 'looks' to own one,but about how it would be to have one-the adventure of it all.i LOVE being on the water, sunning, lounging, watching the waves. For my husband- it's about status. as usual.

Some adventures i am going to be having soon are with my mom . We are going to a musical in a few weeks, then spending an afternoon in a statepark with the fall foliage, and in November we are going to see Disney on ice. My daughter will join us for that one.In between that is my second beach vacation this year. I am so excited!Love culture! Love travel!Love good company!

On another note.My quick review of 2 movies. The "Love Guru". Very mike myers, expected comedy...similar to austin powers.Lots of farting. And "Speed Racer" -great kids movie, technicolor glamouricious(made up word). Maybe it was meant for the kids just now growing out of the "cars" movie.Not great for adults, though.

And,FunFactor ,today ,i must now confess , i did indeed stop by Cold Stone Creamery for another "That's how i Roll "---only a small one. Now (sigh) i gotta look up the calorie count.P.S. it was as good as the last one!

I was reading another of my favorite blogs tonight . In the midst of all that i have written over the past two months, one thing still resonates within me...My desire for authenticity. The blogger covered this with great zeal and was very helpful. i hope to expand upon this as i go. But the gist of it was that one should never strive for popularity, even when hit with criticism. Authenticity should be your highest aim.That means not what you own, what degrees you have, or who you know. But freedom- meaning how much you control your time and own your own mind. hmm...food for thought.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Kitchen Disasters & a Few of my Favorite Things

Well, today was a blister. Let me just say to you that there's a reason they tell you to melt candlewax slowly on the stove & not quickly in the micro. ..Wax Explosion. Costs me about 45 minutes clean up time.Enough said.

Then there was the cookie adventure.I was trying to save time by putting 2 sheets on the oven rack with one only slightly overlapping the other. Big Mistake. I wasted 2 beautifully delicious dozen cookies...Burnt. And making those cookies really didnt help my love /hate relationship with the bathroom scale. I had gotten down close to my goal weight.

But now i will ignore the scale until it tells me it loves me again and is really sorry for misreading my weight.

I have been sad lately, too , as a client of mine was recently lifelined. But they are doing better now praise God. However, that fact changed my schedule around alot. Oh well, after i gripe a bit , i just roll with it. But i should not even be saying the word roll right now. I want one (yum) and i have one (bulge).So, i was off the last 2 nights painting, doing yoga, drinkin a beer on my front porch & taking long walks.Not bad.

And for my Everyday Adventure: I met my daughter today at an art bar. We had a wunderbar time. She brought me sugar babies and i gave her cookies. (for the record-- in spite of the fact that i prefer sugar daddies and professed to not be able to eat sugar babies, i still devoured 2 funsize boxes, then went home and mocked on my scale! Ha!) Anyhoo, what an awesome place...All locally grown, painted, sewn, glued, you name it. it was a true mecca of loveliness. and you get to use all their stuff for your own projects for only $5.oo /hour . Graciously frugal.

Ok, Guys, my FunFactor has to be running into the word "porpuse" on my study notes (available for purchase on line). It's just a typo but it makes me smile each time. Thinking of dolphins.And another funfactor: using my ipod shuffle whenever , wherever, for what ever! i had previously relegated it to Gym time only. But now.....cooking, cleaning, dancing with myself, walking the dog...love it!

And so now i bid you adeiu, and sweet dreams too!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008


After spending about the last 3 hours trying to find some inspiration for a decent blog topic tonight, i must confess i am at a loss.

I could tell you about the wonderful tent-rolling experience with a friend this afternoon.

Or my newest low calorie tasty discovery( steamed veggies covered with hummus...mmmm.)

Or i could just give you this linkhttp://nadinefawell.wordpress.com/2008/09/08/hilarious/
to make you laugh.....

ok , well, i guess i already did all of the above!

Mostly i wish i could show you the moon from my front porch tonight in all it's full majesty, but alas , i cannot get my digital camera to work on nightime moon shots.And i dont mean the ones from my boudior! the last one i attempted was a HUGE full moon over the ocean...they all turn out like tiny dots & nothing else.

i have been spending some time lately looking at boats. my husband and i are considering purchasing a pontoon boat sometime in the future , if thats the direction life takes us. These are really wonderful crafts as you can lounge in or out of the sun, picnic or just get drunk on them, sleep or motor around. i watched fireworks from the river on one . It was awesome!

My oppinion is that this also falls under the "if we sell the house " clause. But , of course, my hubby thinks otherwise. For now, we just dream & window shop.

In about one and a half weeks my friend & i will be embarking on our camping weekend. Tonight i want to mention the trips i have gone on with this friend.We have gone to Florida (disney),Nags Head NC, New York City, another whiterafting trip up state,St Micheals, MD...Stowe VT...and i think thats it. We are planning some more stuff in the future,which i hope will also include some overseas trips.A great travel companion is a rare thing...and appreciated.

I realize from time to time how many lovely experiences i've actually had so far in my time. fireworks from many places (the air, carnivals, mountains, the river) ...speeding at 100 miles per hour on a motorcycle,swimming in lakes at night,moonbathing on a rooftop.... not to mention all the daredevil stuff(bungee jumping, whitewater canoeing, parasailing,rockclimbing,etc) and other places i've been (the carribean, the bahamas, Key West, colorado, ohio, The outer banks many times,etc)So many experiences! I sure have been blessed. Yes, a charmed life indeed.

But i've also experienced the bad...an armed robbery, domestice violence, rape...this list goes on & gets way too personal.

But on reflection my life has been mainly rich, and full, and interesting and abundant.And it keeps getting more so.

So if i could show you the full moon shining down on me tonight strictly vicariously , it would be
the reflection of all of these jewels.And a small quiet smile on my face.... Peace

Monday, September 15, 2008

Sunsets & Moonbeams

Everyday Adventure: we finally made it to the local fair today in spite of the saturating humidity!I ate like a pig but my husband ate like the whole farm. On our way we stopped at an rv sales lot to check out the lovely interiors of these road beasts. It was great fun exploring each travelhome what with all the spacious yet cleverly contained living areas. But , oh , the price range! 20,000 -56,000.00!!! of course these are the new models.

In our fantasies, we can sell the house and live in one of these beauties traveling around the country as we please.
Yes, fantasy, not reality.
Neither of us have the type of job skills necessary to enable us to live on the road.
We could be carnies.
I like funnel cake. Actually i like it a bit too much.

Did i mention i am sick of these extra 5 or 6 lbs i have been doing battle with? If we were in a boxing ring , i would be the puny guy in the corner and the pounds would completely being annhialating me.So, my FunFactor lately has been mixing & matching low-calorie soups!

ok, moving on.

I wanted to share today about this mornings sermon. I did not attend traditional church but instead chose to listen via the internet . I listened to two & the second one was excellent.It referred to Genesis and the reason we all feel this connection to beauty and perfection when we see it.

"on the sixth day God { saw that} everything
He created was good..."

i dont have the bible in front of me so i am trying to quote by memory.
anyway , the whole point of the message was that we were created to live in this perfect state. so when we see it in our lives it resonates with our core being. Think of perfect sunsets, the giddy feeling of the first look at your newborn child, the way mountain ranges stretch far & away. Our true being knows this from the beginning of creation, our "meant to be" ...before that darned Eve screwed it up!

yeah, and the pastor expanded,too, upon the fact that Eve was just hanging out by that tree when she was tempted. she just kept looking at , staring at that beautiful fruit. never mind all of the safe delicious fruit in the rest of the garden.and so the longer she looked the more tempted she became, until.....well, you know the story. the lesson being that we just cant keep staring at & thinking about the forbidden fruit.or eventually we will succumb.like guys with pornography. and hanging around unsavory people (unless you are ministering to them).

it was also mentioned that we do not need to experience evil to understand good.so true.

case in point..
think about all the times you've chosen the forbidden fruit. it causes pain. this might be greed , adultery, unforgiveness,gluttony.it's all bad. and we don"t need to chose it.we can chose good.
i thought this would be a very appropriate thing to ponder, even for a yoga -ish blog. Yoga itself is about obtaining the bliss -like state, the nirvana, we were created for. when we chose the good it gets us ever closer to that state.
so, i was grateful for the enlightenment .

And now i can finally put my finger on why that gorgeous full moon gets to me everytime.


Saturday, September 13, 2008


Another part of the new canvas...

But anyway,

Tonight is an odd night. In an odd week i'm having. All of the cases i've been to this week were having unusual illness or when i got there , something was out of its usual order.All of them made me groan. But tonight, two things out of the ordinary (at least)didnt make me groan . i talked to a colleague i havent spoken with in a few weeks. And i ran across an interesting blog concerning a topic near & dear to my heart: litter.

Now, on the first score, my colleague and i (whom i will refer to as "s") began to discuss the topic of "ethics". basically this occurred as part of a nursing conversation about recent exam stuff. And strangely, simultaneously i realized 2 things. I stated to "s" that i tend to feel that persons who were oppinionated (myself and "s") are, in my mind ,more stable.I never realized i thought that way which finally explains why , if i were forced at gunpoint to vote this year, i would have to choose McCain. Even though i almost totally disagree with all he stands for . It also explains why, all these years , my mates tend to be those who are very stubborn and my friends tend to be those who are more flexible & open minded....but NOT ever wishy-washy(THAT i cannot abide). I chose all those stubborn , set in their ways mates because i thought if i tried hard enough i could get them to see another side of things.

that never worked.

On to the other topic.The blog i was reading was actually about peace (another fav topic of mine). It was asking questions about the ways we express & seek peace in this world. The blogger had a list of 4 things including picking up litter! ahhh...a woman after my own heart!i have often sat in deep ponderance about how if people would just realize how depressing and anti-motivating it is to have to see or live around litter, maybe they would do something about it (all the while knowing that it was just a fantasy ---those people probably wouldnt do anything about it.)and how would those people who do the littering like it if we drove by their homes and just threw trash in their window. Animals deal with this everyday!

But, seriously, cleaning up litter is an act of world peace , people. That's a no-brainer.I do it all the time. Even on vacation i take at least one morning to pick up litter in the area. It seems to me a vacation is much more fulfilling when we are doing something to help the greater good. no matter how big or how small.and here's another plug- eat locally. smile at those you would normally ignore.and read a book once in a while, for pete's sake.these things can go a long way.

ok my Everyday Adventure today: Instead of going to a local fair as planned today because of the rain, our family decided to spontaneously go out to eat at a local Wegmans. The faire at this place is abundant and diverse.I was able visit many culinary cultures without even leaving the county!Although the local fair would have been a first for my husband, i think we did a good thing. It forced us to eat together for a change and since my son & his friend had never been there before it was a new experience for them. They were bowled over by the impressive and extensive selection. My tastey travels included the countries of japan, the middle east and mexico, as well as some tropical locals.All within a few thousand feet of each other!

So,eat up & enjoy!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Growth Spurt!

I really don't put many links to other sites in my blog , but this guy is especially noteworthy! The first article i read was about living to your fullest potential & wow! i was slammed with some personal truths.

it even made me think back to tonights Yoga class. Had (another) new teacher. It was a guy this time and he was pretty good actually. but the article had an awesome statement ( a quote by someone)---"always do what you're afraid to do". I put that into practice everyday. i fell on my chin in class tonight doing that very same thing. but i think i enjoyed it.

Most of the time i like to think of myself as a"step outside your comfort zone" junkie.interestingly , the article in the above link addresses something called self help addiction. while it is written with alot of sarcasm/cynicism, i do tend to agree that too much of a good thing is not good at all and if one just sits around reading about self improvement and does not apply it, what's the point?.....i , personally find that if i don't stretch myself and step outside the box physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally i get restless, fidgety and feel pretty much useless. one of my favorite quotes is "a rolling stone gathers no moss".Yup, so true.

ok, phew! gotta be done with that speil.

So, i guess the FunFactor for tonight is : trying new poses in Yoga (for me) or just trying a yoga pose ( for you, if you never have...or trying just one new one) even if you fall on your face, chin, head or buttocks, at least you tried. you stepped outside that cozy little (perhaps) slightly narrow minded box you might be hiding in. Not meaning to offend here, just (sarcastically ) trying to inspire change.

And, most of the time, change is good...it means "growth".

I also hope that some of you(are there any?) will start leaving some comments just to let me know you're out there. Helloooo? anyone there? anyone reading this? I do hope so.

I am trying to do the Ghandi thing --"be the Change..." and technically even though blogging is partally about self help, it's also about reaching out ito the world wide web and exposing my inner self to inspire . So there it is.

Has anyone had an everyday adventure to tell about lately?I'd love to hear it!til then......


Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Einstein's Error

here is the lastest canvas in my new series designed to go with one of my previous style paintings .it's not finished yet and this is just a portion of it. I am getting back in touch with my creative side and i thought this would be a perfect fit.

Let me just state that this will be the third time i have written this blog tonight.divine intervention is having it's way with me and i am completely flustered . so i am rushing to finish & publish.gooooosefraaabaaa.....(watch "Anger Management" if this doesnt make sense to you)

last night i ran across an interesting read about how a recently discovered natural nuclear reactor(the Oklo reactor in Africa) has forced scientists to recalibrate the speed of light. HA! just one more reason i am glad i did'nt waste time in a boring Physics class in high school.I scoff at Algebra. I laugh at Newton's law. I mean, i know gravity exists. But why should we force generations of children to do crazy equations that equal nothing but an waste of an educational salary. Almost all intangibles have "theories". And this is fine. But I think when educators try to push these on kids as "fact" we need to seriously question them. After all, look at Pluto. And how bout all those kids who wasted time learning how the earth was flat? I cant wait til they throw out that whole pie(3.14) bunk. E=Mc Squared? I think not!

I also learned where the name ADIDAS came from! it's the first 3 letters of the designers first & last name. Adi Dassler. Hmmm... who knew. Gosh i love trivia. i own almost every version of trivial pursuit. Anyone game?

Next..i have decided to also reinvest some time in another previous pleasure. meditation. i am not talking about an hour a day . i figure maybe 5 minutes or so oughtta charge up my Yoga play and benefit my spiritual practice.And i don't even have to put make-up on to do it.

Since i am having so much fun with my art lately i cant think of a funfactor for ya. I welcome any suggestions.Guess this is what they call a brain fart.

oh well, back to reading about the joys of coleslaw!


Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Not for the spiritually Impovershed

During my yoga practice today, i found myself actually connecting with my body in ways i had previously only read about in Yoga books.For some reason most of this occured during my Down Dogs where i noticed how my breath was moving around in my chest .I could feel it expanding and traveling(a sensation) down through my entire abdominal & pelvic regions. The whole thing about yoga actually massaging your organs is totally true!

I was so blown away by it !And how it lead so naturally into this realization :(a moment of clarity, if you will).....

In the past 6-7 years or so( as my life has gotten increasingly "unsimple")my practical, serious self has prohibited me from experiencing any deep spiritual connection with my body.My inner dialogue has just been sitting there in a dark corner smoking a cigarette whispering "Get real. This is the kind of stuff only weirdos do & talk about. We both know there's no truth to it. Are we actually going to believe any of that bologney?"

Strange how that voice only reared it's ugly head as my life was getting more & more complicated, huh? Because i believed i needed it to function in a way society finds "normal" and "acceptable" i let no outside, unprovable entities into my thinking.

And that horrible little voice of reason stole away all of my introspection, creativity, and peace.

Today , an old voice decided it was time to reclaim it's previous space in my life. And it yelled out louder , stronger and more powerfully ---demanding to be heard!!
Now, i hope i have'nt scared away anybody because , seriously , i have'nt lost it or turned into some new age lunatic. But i am starting to rediscover something i used to own.


Myself that has a lot of work to do to get rid of barriers i've erected. Myself that needs to keep in mind that i am not the labels placed upon me by others in this world. Myself that cannot allow, for even one second, the belief that i am my emotions.

Don't go away yet.

I am just unclogging the drain.

So let's get back to familiar plumbing.

Todays' FunFactor:Coke & Mentos- Put 'em together in a plastic bottle, shake & stand back.Reminds me of an old science fair project i did, only better!P.s.- you might wanna have a mop or something handy.

On another note i want to let the readers know that somedays don't always seem like funfactor days. Like, almost everyone ,i struggle with finding joy more on some days.But usually by the end of the day , something turns up . Tonight , peace came with the night sky enjoyed through the sunroof of my car.And with that peace i was able to open up the smile inside.

It's a simple thing. And it's funny how in these moments that negative voice has nothing to say.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Unlucky Duckies

I will start out with an Everyday Adventure!-today my husband & i took another jaunt out to the local duck lake on the motorbike. We took the picnic, but forgot the duck bread...so back it goes into the freezer for next year since this will most likely be our last visit of the season.Not seeing much in the way of beautiful colored fall foliage, but am definitely looking forward to veiwing & collecting leaves. I know, how boring , right?But it's not just a getting-older thing! i've been doing this since i was a teen- a rowdy, partying, hippie teen.

a-hem. enough for memory lane.

My friend & i have definitely decided to go camping. We are in the process of planning the initial "tent-raising" together on Friday.....just to see if us two "old folks" can do get the thing up all by ourselves and how long it will take. Plus , for some reason, my friend wants to know all manner of measurements for things like how big the tent is rolled up, and how high the cots sit up off the ground. I am not sure why.

It sounds like it will be a great & wonderful weekend with a nice 9 mile bike ride followed by a class iii-iv white water rafting excursion on one day and either rock climbing, hiking or horseback riding another day.it should be a less-is-more,back to nature trip too if i can keep him from bringing the kitchen sink!

And i keep trying to instill planetary responsibility on the guy( no plastic utensils/throw paper plates into fire not trash) and some simple frugality(we don't REALLY need to tour the local architects homes).He did ,however, prepare a wonderful menu-Kudos, friend!

In light of all this i do need to get back to the true purpose of this blog. So here is an upgrade on things i want less of......

1.self-destructive behavior patterns
2.talking waaaay too much
3.My attachment to mirrors( i am like a MOTH)
4. lemon and lime dum dums

...and some things i want more of....

1. Happy, smiling people
2. solitary walks
3.wind on my face & in my hair( except when i have lip gloss on)

I will be working on some of these as fall & winter approach. I love being outdoors in the fall, and i hope that when i vacation in november at the beach, i get a better feel for how the foliage will be during that time.

ok boys & girls, time for todays' FunFactor:wonder what i did this weekend? i bet! i got a bit tipsy and spent my evening alone at home dancing around , all dressed up for no reason in my own living room listening to Nina Simone...ahhh. What a voice! Add in some homemade instruments from the kitchen drawers and you have yourself a groovy scene!


Saturday, September 6, 2008

i'm getting really , really peeved!

I don't know why, but the stupid computer keeps putting the stops on my blog box area.we'll see how this goes. p.s. i apologize in advance for spelling errors ,etc. that i may be unable to fix if it happens before i review & edit again!

ok, let me move right into my Funfactors:yep! you saw that right...plural! first is the Cold Stone Creamery ice cream i had yesterday & can't stop thinking about. I chose "that's how i roll" and man-o-man was it the best concoction i have ever tasted!

i had stomache pains halfway through eating it & still refused to stop. had'em for about an hour after,too 'cause i was so STUFFED!i highly recommend it.

next....hurricane patterns look a bit like red & yellow lima beans on a sea of blue, with beautiful green pastures off to the side. So i'm thinking i'm going to find a few recent ones to print out and paint in a series.

It will help me remember why we just recently paid a premium for gas in anticipation only of louisianna getting hit again. (do we now get a rebate since the actual drilling feilds were'nt affected?-HA!)

I might also add that the Metamucil thing has'nt helped me lose any weight. but on the other hand, i havent gained any and i am becoming regular!

I noticed the other night in my perusing around the web on various blogs,etc. that it seems like most all the popular blogs have a catchy "how to" title or a list of things. Does this mean that in order to attract someone to your blog, the writer is stuck with coming up with a crap load of self help titles and lists ?


I politely decline.

Actually, someday, i may again post a list. but i am sure it probably won't be attractive or helpful to most people. Like my pet peeve list.

Something good happened to me over the weekend. Someone i complained to about my gaining weight said to me" Good. maybe you'll get some curves on ya'"--Awesome. i don't feel too badly about all those cook outs now. And also, a girl (YES! a girl!) actually asked me at the gym if i competed (in fitness or bodybuilding) . wow! i was so darned flattered i nearly asked her if i could donate an organ to her or anything!you know, girls almost never talk to me , especially at the gym.
speakin of which...

i cannot wait to get my old yoga teacher back. she's on vacation & we had this other teacher and i was'nt real happy with her. too much talking, not enough flow.I am really hating this blog window right now...its making me do this....list thing...ughhhh!ok fixed it again. anyone know a blogger-fixxer?

I think my next post will be addressing one of those things on my pet peeve list. so get ready.Until then let me exit with a most wonderful quote by Marcel Proust...

"Pain is the most heeded of doctors: to goodness and wisdom we only make promises; we obey pain"


Can't I ever Finish?

lately it's all about the books for me. I've got a pretty good list going, starting with...

1. the bible (of course, an ongoing, lifelong re-reading of the tome)
2. The lightkeepers son
3.the newest Nicholas Sparks book
4.No ordinary moments(re-reading)
5. A new earth

I don't remember most of the authors at the monet, & the nicholas sparks book - i don't remember the title---how's that for early Alzheiner's?

I usually have sveral books going at once and then there's the nursing studies & research.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Promised Pic-blog didnt let me finish

Groundhog Heaven

I am officially going to start a new segment of my blog as planned early on. I had to wrap my head a round the thing because for a long time now i guess i kept it all to myself. Nothing secret really, just a bit of selfishness....

EveryDay Adventures:I believe deep down that everyday is an adventure. All you have to do is look at things a bit different or actually find the adventure of it. When i was at the beach this summer, it seemed that everything was new and exciting, from the sunrises & sunsets, the beach finds(shells & dead sea critters), the people around me and the activities i witnessed or participated in. The simplest of things like the early morning beach walk yeilded so much to me that i could'nt wait to write about it & then go out the next morning!I saw things like kites and flowers in a whole new light. Boy! was i depressed when i had to leave.

But what i realized over the next week is that i had the same things at home! Out of my sons window, every single day is a gorgeous sunset.Some are even better than at the shore. And when i waljk my dog , i find just as many treasures on the road (cool shaped acorns, beautiful leaves, etc) as i did on the beach. And getting out of my comfort zone by doing something really off the wall(like going to the park -all by my self, and without planning it) gives me the same rush as my first time parasailing!

So, some days i will include a funfactor & other days i'll give my everyday adventure. Hopefully, i'll inspire some one else to try new things. Life is not all bad. Even Psalm 23 says ".....walk through the valley of the shadow of death" not the valley of Death.So there's no need for any one of us to walk around like zombie's , just going through the motions. Get a funfactor daily, or have an adventure...it could change your life!

And now to the title of this post....in a feild near my house today, right behind a huge grocery store /strip mall there is an entire community of groundhogs!! There are 2 roads on the other sides of this area which makes it a truly unexpected site. As i drove by today i watched at least 20 or more of these whimsical creatures rolling about just sunning themselves and enjoying the day , as if there werent a dozen or so cars within a few yards.A lesson in "dont worry , be happy" for sure!I thought this was an example of a great adventure( my own little safari!)

And i do even have a FunFactor for today: Paints and canvases bought a few days ago. now awaiting a blanket of color, this time from a combination of water color and acrylics. The picture in the next post is the only painting i have done specifically for someone and the only one i've ever given as a gift.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Nightmare on MY street

This is awful.I just found out there's a Megans law sex offender that lives ( until recently imprisoned) on our street. He had a "consensual"(yeah , right) relationship with a 15 year old boy.He's married with kids. Yes, it can happen anywhere. Here is the website..just type in your zip.http://www.pameganslaw.state.pa.us/SearchZip.aspx?dt=MCFCFDDL4ENGLNGJ4Ua.At our party, several of the neighbors (with kids )knew about it. it was in the paper. I guess there IS a reason to read the news, huh?

ok, now to other pleasantries...

FunFactor:driving around & down the highway , i look at the different types of cars & think of what their shape reminds me of. there are several that look like insects and, i , being strange, am in lust with them!lol! there's the beetle , of course. And there's the Prius.Looks an awful lot like a locust. I love it. The ford focus? a bee. i'm talkin about the hatchback. Then there's the whole animal kingdom ,too. like that one mazda that's a really cool sports type...looks like panthers head!which reminds me of how some people look like animals. So many look like owls.

Also, did you know that Dum Dums has out a great line of creamy flavors? oh yeah!

Here's something to which i think everyone can relate, at least on some level, at some time. I'm talkin "Early Morning TV". By this i mean 2am to about 5am.Once in a while i run across a really cool movie like"Blood & Donuts" (a few years ago) but usually(and i do this for fun because , as previously stated , i don't really watch TV)when i am stuck with nothing else available(like no avail. plugs for my computer) there's an incredible line up of weirdness.

Lots & lots of infomercials.And a sprinkling of reruns. But the fun part is finding the truly tasteless(cage matches) & unusual(list to follow below). I just ran into a cable channel with no sound watching a portion of a street i use to work on. must've been a street camera. Now, i ask you, WHO is into watching THAT?It was nothing but cars going by. After about a half hour trying to figure out what the heck it was, i gave up & switched to...

"Face First"- apparently some kind of benefit country concert with a bunch of sweaty, beer belly men howling, i mean, belting out what could only be described as pitiful , somewhat drunken whining.And as a bonus--- with their shirts off.Like lard in a ziplock baggie. hmmm...NEXT.

Steve Wilko show.....no.

Wait! MeettheBloggers.org!!!On free speech tv!Let's keep going! I'm excited....

Spanish Soap operas.An interesting debate about concerns over patents of cloning rights.Poker.Pogo stick olympics.Religious tv. Gimme a break!This is ridiculous. And people actually PAY for this programming.And now, a guy meets guy dating show. Well, THAT's not for me, anyway!

I did like the thinkport channel though, the one with the cloning debate.At least its educational!

Well,folks...sorry this one was pretty boring. I'll try to come up with some new material .Maybe i'll report back on the " Startling Star Couples story"....Stay tuned!

Monday, September 1, 2008

Politically Incorrect

I truly almost cannot tolerate TV anymore. I mean i could truly live without one and not even care. In fact, I did'nt even know about hurricane Katrina for like, 2 weeks after the event, or that bombing years ago. I heard about that listening to a conversation at the grocery store.

These days i try to stay abreast of news at times, but usually it's so awful, i wish i hadnt.

I wish we could just get rid of our TV's and reduce the noise pollution . We'd save hundreds a year on satellite TV charges, too.

So, now that i got that off my chest. Let's delve into my weekend.Despite my husband reducing me to tears in the morning and dragging my son out of bed to lecture him,he wound up giving him the car keys to his 2008 car to run for party supplies.(???) ,The party was a great success-- Lots of people, food , and even fireworks at the end---(the cops were called by a lovely antisocial neighbor).I did have loads of clean up today though and was so exhausted i barely made it to work.Sorry i did'nt call, Secrets.

Todays FunFactor: Metamucil. did you know if you drink a serving right before a meal it will help you feel fuller faster & reduce your intake. So doing this while sipping water between bites should help you lose weight.Ok, i guess sucking down a fiber drink reputed to be for moving your bowels isnt most peoples idea of fun. But it sure beats dieting(which i HATE!)Especially with so many yummy left overs in my house.Besides that, it really doesnt make you go...it just adds as much fiber as you'd get if you ate a perfectly healthy diet. Which no one really does, except liars.

Tonight i was peeved to find out that i was missing the cord to download pics from my digital camera to my computer. And speaking of pet peeves....

DISCLAIMER:some may find the following in opposition to their taste, beliefs, morals, or something else. Some may be downright offended. It is your choice to read on & i welcome all feed back. But you have been warned.


Is anyone else sick, sick, sick of hearing about the elections? I mean i think there's more to life than this. i really dont participate politically anyway. There are those who may rant about how i dont have a right to complain since i dont vote. i find that to be a real hoot. Of course i have the right to complain.We all do. Why elect some one to represent you based on promises they really dont have to(and rarely do) fulfill after they are elected . I say voting is an exercise in futility and at best gives people something to talk about at parties or at the watercooler.Hmmph..millions spent on campaigns that could actually go to feed the hungry, or pay for surgeries needed by children without insurance..

That being said, i have been inudated with politics at every corner as of late. And despite the fact that i dont watch TV, i have some information on the available candidates.

Excuse me. I have a choice of a black man who flip-flops on almost every issue or a white guy who will keep us at war for forever. Where's the democracy in that?it's like a choice between a PB sandwhich on Rye or pumpernickle, no jelly. Man...i'd almost rather just have a glass of water.
i think everyone who counts on obama to change things is going to have to face the saying "be careful what you wish for". On the other hand, with mccaine spending millions of dollars a day to fight overseas , well, we may not even have bread or PB someday.

So i guess i will take the Hippie/deserter way out. No voting , at least til it means something:)

Doin yoga instead...namaste!