Monday, August 18, 2008

Walmart People

You know when you are having one of those days when you just cant get the right word out? i am having frequently more & more days where "froth-mouth" is a better description of me than anything. But you are in luck--- along with that lovely visual, you get to feast on these sparkly gems:

Tonight is a full moon (or something like it)
Tonight I am in rare form(or at least I have form)
and Tonight I am going to expand upon the Walmart mention.

Walmart People. Whether you admit it out loud or silently wonder where they come from,you've noticed them. I do more than that.

I literally get sick to my stomache if i even know that i must GO to walmart.The description of these types lends itself to naseau and bad dreams.You know, the flip-flip ,stretch polyester wearin women and their butt-crack-bearing, flannel wearin' men. Some of their delightful attributes include : the smell of body odor and/or beer breath, tobacco-stained teeth(you may even see a fleck or two of the real stuff in there), adorable dandruff halos, excess ear hair (and wax), home-made tattoos,pit-stop hair and best of all , at least 6 children.

Less than a year apart.

These children of course may or may not be to the same mom or dad. They may range from the youngest (who screams constantly and wipes his/her nose on their sleeve leaving a nasty glistening smear across theirface)to the sulky, black t-shirt wearing, chain wallet-hoisting teen.The young ones run all through the store(while mom & dad tour the T.V. dinner section) without reguard to anyone else or anything. Mom nor Dad do NOTHING about this or they scream "Orvis, you come bayack her rot now or i'll beat you with the hose agin!"(this is not a misspelling of's representative of the lingo).

As for Walmart itself...

At most stores when you first walk in , off to one side are the public restrooms, followed by a horrible little "coffee/snack"shop that sells soda and popcorn. Imagining that tasty aroma swirled in with the distinguishing sweat shop clothing stench sends me to the basin .

and i won't even get into the whole parking lot mess. But I digress.

Yes, the Walmartians are indeed a special breed.One that I avoid as much as humanly possible.It is also pretty ironic that this clan overlaps with the topic for another day---Fat people(who just don't even care).I just can't even believe that these people are oblivious to how offensive they are.Most of them, given half a chance will also grace your ears with a rant of explitives that would make a sailor cringe.
Hope this gives ya some fodder for the day...I sure do hate going to that store.

Funfactor:Thinking about all the ways I can beautify the world by petitioning for certain restrictions at Walmart. amen.

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