Saturday, August 30, 2008

Gloom and Doom

Well, it's been a real gem of a week for me......

After all the craziness of getting ready for this block party and

After all the expenses of it and

After arguing almost non -stop with the husband most of the week.....

I get rudely awaked today by my son who tells me he wrecked the car we gave him. Yes, the one we just got inspected three days ago. In fact, as it turns out, he TOTALLED the car. Lovely.

It has taken so much out of me today to finish up the last of the party preparations in the shadow of this horror, that i just want to cry out in utter self-pity..."WHYYYYYYY????"

But since i was, as of this point in time , able to vent a bit to some truly supportive friends, i feel much better. And i have started to wonder(or maybe it's just late night haze) if this event was a blessing in disguise.One of the friends i spoke with indulged me in a brief conversation about this possiblity. but now, i think i might know what the actual blessing may be.

I had recently been ruminating over my loss of family time, especially with my son. Always away at work or with friends. Now , he wont have as much access to running off as he used to. Hence , by force , he will be at home more.And actually, it will be another life lesson for him since now he will have to find rides to work, buy his own car, get it inspected, etc. Also he is learning about the do's & don'ts of having an accident(ex. get the other guys license plate #...yeah, the other guy drove off!). So i will add this up to a positive.

I thought after all this, i'd have no FunFactor but i do! : #1.Skittles. Need i say more? ok, i will...thousands of great flavor combinations bursting forth in your mouth...mmmmm, and # 2. I ran into a great blog about the benefits of water again tonight. I had been pretty bored with the stuff as of late but, truly...what's not to love if you are trying to simplify your life? It's free, easy to obtain , has loads of benefits, can be flavored or not, used for tea...i mean , WOW!.....Lovin' it.
btw...put the utensil down between bites and have a sip...fills you up faster!really!

Buenos noche!

Friday, August 29, 2008

Still Wanting


I am a very impatient person.


Let me re-phrase that.


I am a very, very impatient person.


Case in point. Shopping for our block party tonight, i knew i had a limited amount of time to get to all the places we needed to go to get most of the stuff for the party.


We ran late for virtually everything. i had to constantly bark orders in order to keep us focused & moving along. by the time we got home , we were both at wits end, dragging in items in a hurry, putting away stuff and setting things in order for the following day.(which will bring its own misery).My husband was setting up the garage and moved a table with stuff on it breaking a dish i loved and had just spent 10 minutes filling with plasticware in a pretty pattern.


I lost it & we got into a huge argument.My impatience was rearing its ugly head all night long.It actually made things more difficult in the end.I got accused, as usual, of complaining about everything and b*tching all the time.What is a woman to do?


In hindsight, i guess if i had been the calm ,cool, hippy chick i aspire to be, maybe all would have fallen into place without much of a hitch.But maybe not. I swear, sometimes i notice the softer i am on everybody, the worse they act towards me(the proverbial DOORMAT theory).


I pray & pray for patience ,but i just seem to get worse. i need some suggestions.

And, no, i am not going to start smoking pot!!


Todays FunFactor:researching diversionary tactics to keep me from becoming one of those people on the milk cartons.one of the neat things i found is called letterboxing. seriously, look it up. cool pirates treasure!oh, and skittles really are a good distraction, too.


PEACE!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Behaving Badly

Hello again and this time i will start on the positive with a FunFactor!:Finding uses for the (previously) unusable. My brother has a wonderful use for dryer lint. He saves it for a few weeks before the annual canoe trip (also known as the Booze Cruise) and then vaccum seals it to take along as a firestarter. Might make one take seriously the recommendation to clean your vents often. the stuff goes up like crazy !My newest discovery is saving the lids from old aspirin bottles for the occasional emergency infant baptism.Provides just the right amount!----Just kiddin'!
movin forward...

I'd like to thank my colleague for her comments on yesterdays post .There were some very valid points made and if you have'nt checked out the comments section,please do! and feel free to add your own view.I think in future i will ,however , warn everyone at the beginning of the post that it may contain controversial and potentially offensive material. Then, well, proceed at your own risk!that being said...I love having different views presented and the opportunity to respond.In fact, i live for it!

And because of all that i am admitting to my human failure of not always presenting things with a degree of professionalism or even courtesy. For this i apologize. (slapping my wrists).It is my sarcastic and outspoken nature. i am a proverbial "Big Mouth" and am (slowly) learning the ropes of holding back. although you may not be able to tell...lol!

Right now i'm on about my 6th lollipop. have you ever done this a few days in a row with any hard candy? the inside of your mouth actually gets raw .

it gets so bad for me sometimes i have to gargle with salt water for a day or so for my mouth to recover. alas, i am an addict! And by the way , my case tonight is going much better.so i am not as on edge as last night. i actually got some study time in.Getting closer to my goal.

So let ,me get to the meat of things.

Tonight i am on an ethics kick.in my studies i came across some stuff about stem cell research , therapeutic cloning,organ transplantation, and euthanasia.Really peaked my interest with the thought provoking questions. i guess i will be doing some independent reasearch on these subjects. but the one question i had heard before, but forgotten about was this:should a chronic alcohol user receive a liver transplant? oh, and also: should a person who's received a successful transplant receive another?

To the first let me state my position so far (with limited knowledge). In light of the fact that we all make mistakes in life for whatever reasons i am in favor of the drunk getting the liver. However, they should have to stand in line behind certain other more dire cases. i havent decided what those are.and for the second question i respond that it depends on the type of transplant and the recipient.For instance..i will whole heartedly state that a child who's gotten a bone marrow transplant has a right to as many as they can get and need.But i hesitate to advocate a smoker who 's gotten a lung and ruined it again getting another one. But i might change my mind if they then send all the smokers to an isolated island with no chance of returning in exchange for said lung.Yes, i say this even as an ex smoker. we all make mistakes, but they can be made right with effort, usually. caio!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Fat tuesday & the art of practicing patience

PATIENCE.

Never my strong suit. tonight is an exercise in the very same . My client has been awake for 3 hours so far, vocalizing , when i have made every effort to comfort them. Desperately seeking relief before i went crazy, i tried to call a freind. No luck. Then went online to research how to be more patient.

If you've ever tried this, it is a complete oxymoron. as you hopelessly seek for some shred of help, your search becomes the "practice"

And praying for that magical virtue has'nt been rewarding so far.

What ,then, to do?
Guess i get to blog about it.

This weekend my husband and i are hosting a nieghboorhood block party. I may have mentioned this. I cant wait to see how much yummy food we will have leftover!a much better thing to focus on. although i should still be a little conscious of my waistline!!!

Which brings me to......

the Pet Peeve i have about Fat people(who just don't appear to even care). As a disclaimer, let me say that this doesnt apply to those who are slightly chubby...maybe need to lose 10-25 lbs . It is for those who are way over their BMI . It also DOES'NT apply to those who actually TRY to do something about it.....like real exercise, real diet &real lifestyle changes.If you need some ideas and don't want to comeback with a bunch of excuses, email me. I can help!

Those who proclaim to others that they try, then sneak in a five or six donuts on the sly, or go to the gym claiming they work out but merely slip into the whirpool are NOT among those who try.A whirlpool is not exercise, people.

There are numerous reasons these people annoy me. The # one is the fact that thin people generally do not inconvenience others. That cannot be said of most of the overweight population. Just this past weekend i was in a walmart(i know, it figures) and i stood behind 3 overweight women in an isle of makeup while they chatted, blocking my access to an item i needed. Mind you, this is a very large , wide isle. I said "excuse me, could i get to that item there?" & they looked at me like it was a great burden & inched(slowly) down barely past the items reachability.This happens often. And it's USUALLY an overweight person.but i digress....

Real examples of inconveniences are as follows:
1.that motorized shopping thing they ride around in that blocks most everybody from getting through at the grocery store, all the while beeping , beeping, beeeeeeping.
2.try being behind one of them on any set of stairs. waiting patiently is hard enough, but then add in the excess sweating(especially if i get spritzed) and hoarse huffing & puffing noises. yuck.
3. many overweight persons will try to blame their weight on medical issues.Most of the time this means diabetes(usually a consequence of lifestyle choices)back pain(hello? i've had serious back pain for over a decade- guess i should claim disablity for my dysfunctional desire to stay fit) or thyroid issues(uh, yeah...there's a pill for that ...and also lifestyle changes).9 out of 10 times it's just plain laziness or an unwillingness to change their lifestyle.
4.having the a/c on all the time at full blast. Cripes! I'm freezing! and i gotta sit there and take it , wearing a parka in the summer because they can't lose weight???
5. most of all i HATE that i have to pay tax dollars to cover those on disability or to cover the insurance costs of those with complications arising from their weight issues. give me strength. only in America.think hypertension, heart disease, diabetes, chronic joint problems, gastric bypasses.....

ok.i'll be done now. but i could go on.
lose weight. stay fit. show you care about yourself. Namaste.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Not to want is to have

These words are true in so many ways. I never used to think i'd have enough...enough money, enough clothes, enough parties to go to....etc, etc.

When i was young, my whole life ahead of me, i would sometimes sit and imagine all of the "things "i would have someday. I would have a grand home, many house servants, a beautiful new car, an adoring & rich husband who would lavish me with gifts,clothing and treat me like a queen! As i grew older, i would add to these things, now including a really important and powerful career, travel, and maybe several new cars, a house on the beach and one in the mountains. even later when my aesthetic self kicked in i wanted an alpaca farm, to learn exotic new skills, and to be a philanthropist.

There have been times when the "more" i wanted meant more boyfriends & friends, more social life, or even more expensive jewelry.

The point is, it is never enough.

Look at certain celebrities for example. Some buy a new $7,000 purse every other day. Not too mention the yauchts , the extravagant vacations & over the top weddings.This observation has certainly been main before. Many, many times.

But all of the above is only stating the obvious.

Sometimes, it's easier to understand the BIG picture...than the small, quiet everyday things we can do without. I know there have been times (and will still be times) that i have said,"well, i don't get my nails done or have expensive jewelry,or go to europe for vacation, so i should be allowed to splurge on this or this or this."WE ALL DO THIS! i know tooooo many people besides myself who have rationalized this way.

But the bottom line is what do we need ?
And what can we do without? I am gulity of buying Oakley and Versace sunglasses at $180-200 a piece, Coach purses from $75-289 a piece, and Longaberger baskets up to $300 a piece. Thats just extravagance. It's just a status- symbol- seeking behavior.

I cant say i don't love the items i bought, but part of me acknowledges that i still want more and no matter how much more i get, there will always be more to want. So when does it end?For me, it will be a process of beginnings , and endings.And thats really the best part. I'll talk more about Everyday Adventures on another day.I am finding more & more that what i do without is actually giving me more than i ever expected!

So , let me end today with a FunFactor:Give up your regular foods for a predesignated time period. I once was told of a person (friend of my ex) who gave up all other foods and only ate orange creamsicle pops and drank beer for a month. WOW.He probably never wanted to at least eat the pops ever again.But that's extreme. I mean give up what you usually eat & try a new diet for at least a few days. it doesnt have to be low cal/low fat or whatever.An example would be if you normally eat southern foods or soul foods or something , try an asian diet, or mexican or indian, or just one based on seafood.Have fun with it! i ate vegetables & chicken & fruit all week.Tomorrow i get to pig out at an outdoor concert, eating a lot of great non -traditional faire. Namaste!

Friday, August 22, 2008

Ghetto Pizza

I just read the funniest description of a wonderful treat that IS today's FunFactor:put a peice of bread in the toaster oven until it just starts to toast, add a squirt of ketchup and a slice of cheese, toast until the cheese bubbles...terribly LOL. I used to do this all the time when i was down & out on the groceries.It's not bad.....really!

Onward....

I truly do get sucked into awesome websites. There are also times when i get violently led around by the nose trying desperately to find something. I know i'm not the only one. There should be a real job out there where you submit a request via e-mail to the employee and they deliver the exact link to the page/ info you want. Even if it's "cat-juggling schedules in mexico".(which i am , of course , completely opposed to.

Remember last night i was pretty frustrated about my teens car issue? well, my prayers were answered tonight . my husband called me at work to say he found an $800 mistake(to the positive) in our checkbook, which , ironically is what he decided to spend fixing the car problems. If it is true, the $ is already spent, but the problem is gone. Too bad the mistake was mine this time, my pride took yet another hit.But i can live with that.

This week alone i have gone to 2 cases i havent been at for about a year. It has been a removal from my recent comfort zone & totally turned out different than i expected.I thought to myself
"Oh man, i won't remember anything about the case...I'll have to go through the whole chart,try to figure out what somebody wrote ,find all the equipment, meds,etc......and the parents will probably think i did'nt want to come back since i havent been there in awhile......" all this self-dialogue was really quite depressing. But most of it turned out fine. I still had to do all the reviewing & finding stuff, but overall it was nice to visit again.

Sometimes expectations are another form of psychological "junk".I recommend losing them.Drop them off along side the road.

Something else of value tonight...a line from a movie "the things you own, end up owning you"...from "Fight Club". what a great observation and it makes sense...you buy a house-the mortgage owns you. You buy a car---the payments own you. But even worse is credit card debt. When that owns you, and you keep letting it happen...it is really a prison sentence. My husband was going to put the car thing on it...out of desperation. Now , i have to convince him to use the cash.

Knowing him, i bet he is already planning on how to spend it. His thought process is "woohoo! free "found" money! I'll buy a...." Man....Drives me nuts.I wish he would see that we seriously need to change the mind-set.

I guess in lieu of a suddenly enlightened husband, i'll just have to make as many changes as i can on my own. Still thinking about going carless someday.......Peace.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Preconceived Notions


Today has been very frustrating...so i thought i'd start with this pic of a beautiful historic home located in a close by park where there is a large duck pond as well.I go there once a year with my husband and we take a bunch bread we've kept frozen for them all year.
Todays Funfactor:the only fun thing i did today was chat with some people i just met at the gym .But if i was to have done something fun, it would have involved either food or crayons.
I'm on a diet this week of very healthy vegs & fruits with a smattering of chicken & cashews( i know this sounds stir-fryish but it's been separate.)So for fun, you could try getting to know someone new. P.s. they are all new, until you meet them.
Anyway, my day began when i was inexplicably awake after only 4 hours of sleep. this has been happening alot this past month.I was still in a pretty good way until my husband says my sons car needs$1800 for inspection, and a total of $3,000 to make it safe. the car was taken to 2 places which offered a $700 trade-in. so i guess we gotta do something. the strangest thing was that since i delegated the finances over (and got rid of some other stressors this year), i've beheld a wonderful sense of calm about myself. And i didnt react hardly at all when this news arrived.
I still feel at peace, but it only takes a mention of the above problem to get my heart rate up. i never used to notice anything like that. it was just a normal part of my everyday.it just goes to proove how very damaging our preconceived notion of an actual problem changes our bodily functions. i said preconceived.
Think about that.
If there was no past experience with any hardships or pain or suffering, we would not react. it would merely be a statement of fact. no different than any other data we receive daily....like " the floor is green" or "there are birds chirping". From my very first post i mentioned that it is the emotions we attach to stuff that make us react.
Choosing to receive info. as an original thought or experience totally changes the perspective. I think i am finally on the path back to enlightenment. i mean, i knew this once upon a time.
In the photo above, what is your first reaction, not having seen it until now? It is different from mine. First because we are different people, but also because my experience there says to me" ahhh, remember how loving and calm you felt at that moment, taking in all the beauty around you, feeding the flock of ducks? And remember how it was so great to take the motorcycle ride in the warm sun to get there?...wind in your hair?"....etc, etc.This is how detachment from stuff begins. Separating from the ego.The first baby steps to a simpler ,clearer mind
followed by a simpler outlook on life.......Namaste.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

all the unhealthy stuff

today i will explore what i have given up ,why, and any benefits i've gotten from it. i will also tell you honestly if the solution worked for me or not.

this may get weird.

that being said, here we go:
1. bottled water. since i have a filter on the water that comes from my fridge door this actually had 3 benefits- less plastic bottles sitting around , better for the planet(we recycle, but found out only a small % actually gets recycled) & it saves us about $22.00/month.
2. straps....... ok, so i havent been able to get rid of them all. but i'm working on it. straps are evil.
3. bill-paying(delegated to the hubby)-awesome. i feel so free.
4.unhealthy friendships- a great relief from a terrible and addictive cycle of trying to help the unhelpable.
5. in jan. of last year i gave up a certain item of clothing that we all had been seeing sticking out the back of tight , low rise jeans.i did this in response to not being able to find jeans that were cut high enough that they didnt show when i sat down. the benefits have been enormous...one less drawer used in my dresser, not having to match them to their "counter part", and not having to feel obscene when i sit on a bleacher at a softball game.if you havent figured out the item, try on a pair of these jeans, sit down on a bleacher & ask someone to tell you what they see above your waisteline in the back.very unclassy!(sorry if this was too much info.- just being honest and it DID make my life better).
and finally another thing that didnt work out so well, trying to give up my Mary Kay skin care stuff. The drug store items are just so inferior in Quality!

So, what am i giving up on this quest? what do i want less of?

1. less bills
2. less responsiblilities
3. less stress
4. less materialism
5.less insecurities
6. less work
7. less complications
8.less arguements

and what do i want more of?

1. more family/friends time
2.more me time
3. more spirituality
4.more enjoyment
5. more yoga
6.more travel
7.more culture
8. more simplicity ( but not poverty of spirit)
9.more quiet (Inside &out)
10.more experiences

Got lots of ideas.One small step at at time. I've shared in my posts as i go .But enough of the lists.I'll have a Bucket List one of these times. That's just such a deep endeavor.

Today's FUNFACTOR:boiling eggs & putting them back in the carton. hugely funny when the next person tries to crack them open.But for tonight, my fun will consist of online Youtube videos, especially funny cats & babies.sometime soon i am going to figure out how to add links to great stuff . stay tuned.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

For certain

The Pic: me in vermont ! it was an awesome adventure!


After last nights negativity, i thought i would try an upbeat post.I have been evaluating & re-evaluating things in my life and creating this blog is a genuine effort to work through issues and increase the joy in my life. So, as i work out these things , posts will be varied between ranting and enlightenment!......





I had a wonderful Yoga sesssion tonight. Moving through Sun salutations i usually first become more aware of my limitations(both physical and mentally) . Tonight i realized that many times i set out to the gym with certain expectations. I expect to arrive at a certain time, do a certain workout and hope to see some people i know .I usually do 3 nites a week and an additional 2 yoga classes (This is an improvement over my old , more grueling schedule of 4-5 nights a week, so i've simplified and given up that unnecessary stress and save gas as well!)





Anyway, i believe that my limitations in this area have been :


1.that i feel as though i need to dress a certain way when i workout.


2. i sometimes expect to see certain people and am disappointed if they arent there, and


3. when i am in the class, i get frustrated when i cant do the balance poses and sit in a decent lotus pose.





There are times when i allow these things to block my more rational mind to the point where it can affect my workout.This is mental junk.Most nights, i talk things out with a long time, close , and faithful friend on my cell on my way to work.I need these conversations so much to put some perspective back into my day.A lot of times i get the "crud" out of my system that would otherwise disgrace this page.....so a large and magnified THANK YOU to my friend. you are a life saver:)





But alas, i am still discovering the real me and i am left with these issues to resolve . Any insight would be appreciated.





Todays' FunFactor:Another idea for my dum dum lollipops...i have been using them for stirrers in my hot beverages.This makes for some interesting lollipop and beverage flavors.I dont have a favorite yet, but it might be cotton candy in caramel nut coffee.....lol! sounds weird, tastes NEAT!


Also, have you ever tried this? Going somewhere familiar and doing something really strange on purpose just to see how people react? This works well in public places. As long as it's not tooooo radical. try it. fun for the whole family!(p.s.-wearing a halloween mask while driving in your car works pretty well).





Be well!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Walmart People

You know when you are having one of those days when you just cant get the right word out? i am having frequently more & more days where "froth-mouth" is a better description of me than anything. But you are in luck--- along with that lovely visual, you get to feast on these sparkly gems:

Tonight is a full moon (or something like it)
Tonight I am in rare form(or at least I have form)
and Tonight I am going to expand upon the Walmart mention.

Walmart People. Whether you admit it out loud or silently wonder where they come from,you've noticed them. I do more than that.

I literally get sick to my stomache if i even know that i must GO to walmart.The description of these types lends itself to naseau and bad dreams.You know, the flip-flip ,stretch polyester wearin women and their butt-crack-bearing, flannel wearin' men. Some of their delightful attributes include : the smell of body odor and/or beer breath, tobacco-stained teeth(you may even see a fleck or two of the real stuff in there), adorable dandruff halos, excess ear hair (and wax), home-made tattoos,pit-stop hair and best of all , at least 6 children.

Less than a year apart.

These children of course may or may not be to the same mom or dad. They may range from the youngest (who screams constantly and wipes his/her nose on their sleeve leaving a nasty glistening smear across theirface)to the sulky, black t-shirt wearing, chain wallet-hoisting teen.The young ones run all through the store(while mom & dad tour the T.V. dinner section) without reguard to anyone else or anything. Mom nor Dad do NOTHING about this or they scream "Orvis, you come bayack her rot now or i'll beat you with the hose agin!"(this is not a misspelling of words..it's representative of the lingo).


As for Walmart itself...

At most stores when you first walk in , off to one side are the public restrooms, followed by a horrible little "coffee/snack"shop that sells soda and popcorn. Imagining that tasty aroma swirled in with the distinguishing sweat shop clothing stench sends me to the basin .

and i won't even get into the whole parking lot mess. But I digress.

Yes, the Walmartians are indeed a special breed.One that I avoid as much as humanly possible.It is also pretty ironic that this clan overlaps with the topic for another day---Fat people(who just don't even care).I just can't even believe that these people are oblivious to how offensive they are.Most of them, given half a chance will also grace your ears with a rant of explitives that would make a sailor cringe.
Hope this gives ya some fodder for the day...I sure do hate going to that store.

Funfactor:Thinking about all the ways I can beautify the world by petitioning for certain restrictions at Walmart. amen.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Pet Peeves

OK...i have decided to begin a list of things on every couple blogs or so. This is because i realize i have issues to work out and i need a goal in black& white to give me some perspective and some introspection(hope thats a word).I will be writing about: Pet Peeves, What i have given up, What i want to give up & Why, What i value,My insecurities, and What i want more of.

Today's FunFactor:I am going to church this morning. I really love the issues our pastor talks about and i DO listen. But i get so distracted by all these women who feel the need to dress like this is the only time they get to dress up. It is hilarious to watch the"pious ones" strut around in their just-so dresses , with all manner of accessories, purses from Paris Hiltons collection,fake nails, and even worse- their kids who have matching outfits.So i sit there at times & try to mentally add up the costs of these trouseau treasures.I wonder if they put anywhere near that in for tithes & offerings.

Now I am sure somewhere along the line I may offend someone.For the offense , I apologize. But this is MY blog. And i need to be open & honest.My disclaimer:I love and respect and value all of my friends (& most of my family). I welcome all advice and comments and oppinions and insight. But, please, be dignified and respectful with the comments. We are all , as they say, adults here. We are free, over 21 and have the right to pursue happiness. That being said,you can leave comments anytime by clicking on the link at the bottom of the page.Its not hard. And please read back over some earlier posts . It may shine a little light on some of my rants.

Finally...onto the first list:

PET PEEVES:
(some of you know these , and for others , it may come as a shock, suprise, or (i hope not) an insult:

1. Walmart people
2. Fat people(who just don't even care)
3.Women who blatantly ignore me because they feel some threat/insecurity
4. people who bitch about the president & war incessantly
5.cat hair
6. sloppiness/laziness
7.kids living in the house after age 18
9.door to door sales or religious intrusions, also phone sales calls
10. fake nails

There are probably more. We all have them . Mine are not P.C. . In some ways there's a part of me that knows if i give up some of these things, life can get better.Some of these may show up later in the things i need to give up & why post.

Alas, I am human.

I invite all humbling , insightful, or agree/disagree comments.

And i will expand on each of these later. For instance....I do not mean that if you shop at Walmart, you are a "walmartperson" . It is a special breed, believe me.

Until then...Peace & love

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Too simple (this ones kinda girly)

Todays Funfactor:making some guys look like weaklings at the gym. I love it when i see a guy(especially a big one) pumping weights and then i go over & grab the same weight he just put down(huffin & puffing) and pump out a few reps myself ...with relative ease.I usually get "the look".

to other matters....

If you could see my house , you would see that i am definitely not afraid of color. My walls are painted with brilliant contrasting hues such as red, yellow, sage green, purple(3 different purples!)aqua , lime green...you can get the picture. some of it is because i like to paint canvas with those colors and some of my choices are because i delight in not having to be tame -with only neutral tones or pastels like most of the homes i've been into.i * am* a * WILD* animal.

But recently i have been blessed with the enilightenment that one of the things i truly use to enjoy that went to the wayside was decorating projects.The way it happened was this: years ago , when i began attending school , i was so swamped with crazy hours of studying that i knew i had to simplify my environment . i needed to make a transition from knick knaks and linens to streamlined and easy to clean in a hurry. Hence, i began to pare it all down to only three items per surface("the rule of three") .

Over the next several years , as i began working more & more hours & the decided to pursue another degree(more studying) this still worked for me. Then we aquired a kitten.

Now, i am allergic to cats. Have been since i was bout 14. But my husband wanted one. Then suddenly we had two. In order to make THAT work (in addition to a boatload of allergy meds), i had to pull up carpet and remove curtains(replaced with mini blinds).So basically i had an easy to clean, simple, modern look.

In our new house i was excited to add all the colors, but i have not done any REAL decorating the way i used to.Can you see how life bogs us down?Then we forget that we actually had pleasures at one time....before all the chaos.See, there is such a thing as making something too simple.So now i need a project. And i will have one.

Namaste!

Friday, August 15, 2008

much ado about nothing


Starting with the Funfactor:I have yard bunnies (much better breed than the dust bunnies ). So on occasion I decided to see what kind of foods they will actually eat. I put out a few different entrees for their enjoyment and on another day I will experiment with the kind of containers they prefer. The fun part is not just bunnies but whatever else turns up to feast.....(p.s. they dont eat jelly beans, i tried it).


Moving right along...i passed my test with a big fat "A" today, so i will no longer torture amyone with that(until the next time).


Even more progress this week...i declined an invitation to write out a check for my newly -knighted "bill-paying" husband. And he did'nt even argue! That's a blast of less.


I rediscovered tonight that i truly enjoy cookie dough. And i have the extra 5 pounds to prove it. As a matter of fact, recently i have been enjoying food ALOT. I have literally been eating my way through the summer , what with all the cook-outs, picnics and fresh, fresh foods at the market. And to ice that cake, today is my anniversary. So on sunday my hubby and i are going out to dinner.I have to wonder aloud if there's anyway one can refrain from all the delicious foods on display at these events. But you know what? As part of my abundance , i have decided to stop beating myself up so badly over a few extra pounds. If i want to enjoy more, i get to worry less about some things.


This doesnt mean throwing caution to the wind , but after giving up a few other unhealthy habits, i can more clearly see that this obsession for me needs to stop. So, I hereby sentence my self to cease and desist getting on the scale everyday, starving as long as possible , and i shall increase my lust for life itself!!!


On another note of enjoyment, i need to mention my monthly "coffee dates" with a dear, dear friend . He & i get together every 4th saturday of the month, alternating whose house we meet at and spend about 2-3 hours just chatting and sharing introspection on any number of topics (religion, nursing, relationships, prejudices, recent concerns, problems, situations....you name it!).


We do this because 1.with both of our lives being so busy we dont want to lose touch,2. instead of meeting at a restaurant we save so much $ this way and 3. we each get to get away from daily responsibilities for a little down-time. I wish i could express how enriching and refreshing this has been to me.A shout out to my great friend. chink!(that was a toast by the way).
oh, and by the way the tent up there is the one i hope to be using next month....


Peace & be well!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

A.D.D. tonight

I really had all this great stuff to write about . But once again, the night at work has gone by and i am weary & blurry(hmmm..."bleary"). Mostly it's because tonight started out in an unexpected way. When i arrived at my clients home , the parent decided to hover around in the room for the first hour & a half. Previously they had not. It was because there was a very very minor small area of soreness that had not been there before on the child.Nothing to even call grandma about if ya know what i mean. Afterwards, i was disinclined to study like i should. But i did, even tho i got distracted by just about anything.

Todays' FunFactor: A great big CAT HUG...is what everyone needs! I highly recommend it. There's something a little divine about a feline ......(purring in your ear).Also, let me say that i have noticed how color -oriented I am. When i discovered how to change my gps to night mode i was happy...but when i discovered it made the other modes black & white (2 months later) i was just as pleased.I always notice new hair colors. I am attuned to color changes in the trees and also in my foods. Wonder if this means anything. At any rate it makes for a lot of funfactors.

Distractions. We all have'em. It can be the big things like a loud seemingly endless lawn mower early morning on your day off. Or it can be a sidewards glance at a photo you particularly like or don't like while you're trying to do your work. For many people its surfing the net or texting or checking emails way too much.

But would'nt it be nice if we had more coooool distractions? Less stressful ones.Big, wonderful silly ones.Ones that made you actually look forward to them.Hey! Wait a minute! why not build them into your day on purpose. Ok, I know this isnt a new idea.But how 'bout doing it hourly?like maybe :

7:00--Eat 2 really large chocolate chip cookies for no good reason
8:00--listen to a song that takes you back a few years...or even to high school
9:00--chew a piece of bubble gum and practice blowing the largest one you can
10:00---how many words can i make out of " I love my life"?
11:00---find a few photos and come up with some really funny captions
etc, etc...


It might be a nice day after all ;)

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Drugs & the Government

Sick to death of studying tonight, i have decided to take a break & share.On my mind at this hour due to some recent discussions with freinds & colleagues about marijuana is the philosophy so often discussed concerning just how much our governement should be allowed to regulate in our lives. The recent discussions came about on approximately the same day,totally out of the blue. One because medical uses of schedule I drugs was on the table and the other was because a long lost friend of a friend(age 62) had gotten busted for having a few pot plants for his own use on his property. He was charged partially for "intent to distribute"!Unbelievable.The poor old dude had prostate cancer or some such thing.

Now, before i go off on any tangents, i want it to be known that i do NOT smoke pot or engage in any illegal drug use, nor do i condone the use of marijuana for minors, just as i don't condone cigarette smoking or alcohol use for minors either(however, i must say i was no innocent in my youth).oh...

FunFactor:CLOUD WATCHING!!!All those neat and ever changing shapes.......

But there's some interesting info out there. I did not know,for instance, that some states have legalized medical marijuana. It was an eye-opener as to how each state had it own regulations ,etc. despite the Federal law stating schedule I drugs are illegal to sell . My colleague noted that it seems to be that state law trumps federal.True in some cases.Think prostitution --legal in an area of Nevada, but no where else(to my knowledge) and highly regulated.

Wondering what this has to do with wanting less. I'll tell you. A few years back i was'nt very happy with my weight. Tried everything.Then a friend told me about a diet pill that worked for her. She then stated that while it was legal as a prescription in the U.S.that she was only able to get it online from Canada because girls our size (not morbidly obese, just a tad chunky) were not within the guidelines.Online , you answered a few questions , were issued a prescription and they sent the pills. I received mine without problems and they worked wonders...getting me over a plateau. A year later i had gained back some weight(my own fault) and again went online. I hadnt received the pills after 2 months and then BAM! i got a letter of warning from Border Patrol that i could be arrested for getting drugs outside of the country . after panicking and quickly signing a paper allowing the government to seize my items(despite having paid for them) i was just P.O.'d. How dare the governement tell me where i can buy my diet pills from. Funny thing is, now you can buy the same pill at any Walmart.

I want less Government control over stupid things like THAT!That's my wanting less story for today.

Monday, August 11, 2008

To camp or not to camp

If I had posted yesterday i would have written (with a bit of "wanting less" pride) that my friend and i had economically decided to forego an expensive Autumn trip to Stowe,VT and go camping within our home state instead.We had been to Vermont earlier this year for the last ski week of the season.(i don't ski, i just tagged along for some R & R). And i had the whole post figured out. That i could, at last, in good conscience , say i had taken another step in my quest.

Which reminds me....

Todays' Fun Factor: going 5 miles under the speeed limit on the highway and lazily counting the cars that pass me. What a great game! i think i can beat my record everytime....and save gas!

Tonight ,however, after another conversation about our trip, i am unsure it would be as simple as i had envisioned. My friend had initiated the idea and so i somehow got the idea that he had a tad more experience than it turns out.And (lol!) the only camp gear he has is a flashlight. While i am not the worlds expert on camping by any means, i have gone on several 5 day canoe trips in very primitive, remote areas over the past 6 years. So i have gear. What was kinda funny is that one night he asks if i have a lantern(HA! does anyone use THEM inside of tents anymore?), another night he asks what i am going to sleep on, and then another night if i have a tent. Tonight we were going over the list and i realized(!) that he had no gear. I am also providing a bike rack and ,yes, i think he has his own bike. He also suggested a campers shed w/ electricity & water for a mere $20 more per night.Groan!

Got me to thinkin' it did. I really relish the idea of saving some $ by not having to pay for a hotel and drive lots more hours and paying for dinners out, etc. But i have to say, as much as i love my dear, dear friend....i had to tell him i really dont wish to be the only one who's prepared, and the one to do all the planning and have all the equipment,etc....i mean, i am trying to DE -stress, right? so...will we or wont we? Stay tuned.....

Saturday, August 9, 2008

moving right along

I do need to mention here that I am in the process of obtaining my Associates degree in nursing, meaning I will get to be an RN. I have been spending lots of time studying for a final coming up . It's one of those necessary stressors. I even ventured into the idea of going for my bachelor's AND master's degree...oh my!!! The website says it will cost approx. $28,000.00 and take about 5-7 years..WOW.
Ok, enough about that. Now I am going to add in one of my new elements. It's called the "FunFactor". I mentioned it in my last blog, but now i will actually do it!!! So, without further ado(did I spell that right?)...

Todays FunFactor: Eating my dum-dum lollipops in the car as i drive to work in the dark , trying to figure out what flavor it is solely by taste..I find this to be quite delightful! We dont fully focus on our sense of taste very often. We just stuff ourselves full of food that we barely take time to taste . This is a great way to get back in touch with a "forgotten sense." And , of course, it's also fun.

I bet you're wondering when I am actually going to get down to business with my wanting less plan. Alrighty then.I am pleased to anounce that we have rid ourselves of some physical junk by selling it at a yardsale. We made $72.00 and deposited it straight away into savings. So that's that.Next week I am going to revamp the office.

Now, I have to mention also that prior to starting my own blog I was already in the process of simplifying my life to get more out of it. In june I handed over the responsibility of bill paying to my husband.A tremendous relief. I also lost about 117 lbs. Her name was Robin...a very unhealthy freindship that sucked the life out of me for 5 years.And I started my yoga practice this year which has given my life a whole new dimension. It's all coming together....really.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

there WILL be a plan....

I figure I can go about making this blog as interesting or as boring as I like(since it's mine!) and one thing I have decided is that I will put more effort into content and feeling than into spelling, proper writing techniques, links, and stuff like my own poetry. While all of those things have merit, I just do not want to expend energy or too much thought on these things .... I do love looking at other blogs, but i usually skip the poetry and links to stuff to buy.It just adds to my problems.You know, the consumerism thing and other complications that take up space in life.I will be adding daily things ...like a "FunFactor" (things that make my day a little more fun) and maybe a Life Lesson here & there....but certainly no junk...

Speaking of,a friend of mine today thought that by "junk" i meant physical junk (in my last post). While that may be "junk"(yes, all those coffee makers taking up space in my basement) most of the junk I mean is the emotional /financial / spiritual junk .It's the feelings we attach to the material things in our lives. And the way those feelings change over time. For instance, before I buy something I usually really want it. I think about how great I will feel if, say, I had that new warmer drawer for my kitchen. .."Oh how wonderful it will be to keep all manner of dinner's warm & toasty.... before serving them up to the adoring and amazed family and friends..... who will now think I am just the greatest chef that ever lived. And how they will just envy me because I have the latest gadget and....well you get the idea. My mind makes up this dialogue and along with it comes the "feelings". Let's just label them shall we. They are superiority, egoism, and self-rightiousness.The feeling that if I have this "thing" I will somehow be better, life will be better.
A -hem , but we know better becaaaauuuuse....If in fact I do get whatever it is I wanted, I feel great for about a day or two or even a time or two where I get to show it off , but then after that usually I don't even think about it. Nope . Time goes by and it just becomes an ordinary part of my world. And I am already thinking about something else that would make me a better being. Or make my life better or easier. Or make me look great.
Well, that's the type of junk I mean. It's what they call "baggage" .And I mean to start working on it's destruction.The first step is admitting there's a problem, right? Peace!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

And now for the Beginning....

First of all a bit about myself. I am a nurse. I am married and have 2 wonderful children ages 17 & 23. I love to read, lift weights and do Yoga. Now , if this sounds pretty boring to you, I understand.I even have 2 cats and a dog. But at least I do not have 10 cats, live on T.V. dinners and eat beans out of a can.And there's other stuff I enjoy. But that's sort of the point of this blog.
Like many Americans, I am a "serial consumer". A few years back I started working more & more so I could buy more & more so I had to work more & more and so on and so on .Soon , all the stuff I used to enjoy got pushed to the back burner, since I had no time or energy left to do them. Then, a few months ago a tiny rip in what I called a life began to grow into a larger and larger tear, one too hard to ignore and one I choose not to patch up this time by working more overtime.
It's hard not to say that gas prices were a motivating factor.Most of us can relate. In fact most of my friends, family, co-workers and clients families have had to make some adjustments in their lives to accomodate for the climbing costs at the pump. I personally decided to give up some expensive luxuries like skin care /hair care products,candles and magazines. I also only fill my bath 1/2 full and (cringe) have even started washing more dishes by hand.I've been cutting more coupons, combining more errands, and fine tuning our menu so I can make less expensive meals.
Still, in May we bought another new car. We also added my son to our car insurance. In June we took a 2 week vacation that set us back more than we thought it would. And we are taking another one week vacation in November. Can you say "penny wise and pound foolish"?
I have started to realize that there's no longer any fun in our lives, no family time and more arguements.We are working ourselves into the grave and for what?Yes, there are things we "want" and things we need. My intention here is not to eek by on a pittance and proove to the world how frugal I can be. What I finally understand is that I really want less. I want less bills, less responsibilities, less grief, less competing for the best landscaping......and I want enjoy more.